i jus had the chance to read the pprs today, thou i haven been too busy, din really felt like reading the news these few days.
anyway>> the forum today has a whole lot to say about the recent changes in teaching chinese, some mother complaining about the chinese programmes in singapore and a teacher's response to his fellow colleagues on the teachers in singapore being too stressed out.

the recent changes in how to betta teach mandarin in order to allow our younger generation to master the language looks really promising. it actually aims to combine the idea of creative learning and at the same time cultivate students' interests instead of forcefeeding them, like they do with other subjects. it seems like a really big step forward for our education system. chinese is no longer about knowing how to write the words, merely learning how to read them, it's more about conversing in mandarin, instead of writing - as our education minister claimed. so our system is goin to emphasize on daily usage of mandarin, the students no longer have to learn how to write the words in the "ci yu shou ce", which accompanied me though my years of studying the language. words that are less used in daily conversing will be taken out of the syllabus, which makes me wonder what is goin to be left. NI WO TA? who is the one deciding what is being used daily anyway?

promising indeed.
our system has once again bowed down to the students.
this means that if our students continue to show no interest in chinese, we're goin to change the system once again.

but i'm afraid this kind of flexibility is only limited to teaching chinese.
is it because other subjects are already flexible enough? that the teachers teaching other subjects have nurtured enough interests in the youths, such that they have no problem with interest? is it because the syllabus for other subjects is what we need for life?
i really wonder.
let's talk about flexibility.
i dun remember maths having alot of flexibility while my teacher teach them. perhaps there was interests, but we all know that we cant fail maths - that's the biggest push factor. we are, after all, product of the institutionalised kind of education system in singapore.
sciences, flexibility? if u call powerpoint presentation flexibility. tell me again, how many of us pulled though because of the ten years series? i bet those that got A for sci in a level must have done them at least twice, plus alot of prelim pprs from other schs.
now about GP, i cant say for other schools. because apparently, where i came from, we had really weak english grades in O's. Hence, most of the time we were concentrating on how to write a good argument instead of debating about how piracy will actually affect the economy.

look, there has neva been flexibility in the system. when u start somewhere, u start with the most useless subject that you think. so what if china is the nez super power, they're goin to learn english anyway. when u wanna implement creative thinking and not know how it will turn out, u use chinese as a white mice, to test out how it will work with the students. if it doesn't turn out well, then blame it on the family, the lack of interests of student. it's never the system's fault.

i'm not saying i'm all for rote learning of chinese. but when u say there's no interests, can u say that you have interests for all the subjects you're taking? it's a simple excuse for not trying. parents engage a tutor for a subject for their children as long as it counts towards their aggregate. it's wrong. but they can go so far even if the students does not have interests. they only started complaining they have no interests because it's no longer a subject in the criteria. i really think they should be taught about shame. the kind of shame of not knowing one's mother tongue. it's not about blaming them or their background, it's not about shaming them. it's about "lian chi". they should learn that when u call urself a chinese, even a singaporean chinese, when u go out there, u'll always be a chinese. Even if u speak the most fluent english, the best english, french, german - ultimately, u dunnoe ur mother tongue. it's called the mother tongue for a reason. u can tell the world "hey, you noe what? i've mastered french, german, japanese, korean and everything." and u dunnoe ur mother tongue, you're really not that great after all.

well, the mindset of being cool not knowing mandarin should also be changed. i'm qt sick of hearing "i dun understand chinese, please dun speak to me in chinese" from fellow chinese singaporeans. sometimes i feel that there's a tinge of arrogance when they say that. where did all these superiority sprung up from? i should look down on u for not knowing ur mother tongue, not the other way around.
dun get me wrong, i'm not trying to start a hate club for those who knows their MT against those who don't. i guess the former will def lose out in numbers anyway. who wants to be in the 'loser crowd'?

anyway enough of the chinese topic..

to the mum that complained about the chinese programme on channel 8 with the word "bastard" in the subtitles:
guess what? ur kid is not goin to be protected forever. protecting them and censoring what they see or hear are not goin to help them. when u see someone smoking, u tell ur kids never to touch cigarettes. do u jus cover their eyes and hope that they neva see cigarettes in their life? u teach them to differentiate the good from the bad, to choose to be good, to learn to be good to themselves. u tell them why not to smoke, why not to use vulgarities to punctuate their sentences, you teach them what u learn from the tv is not always rite.
it is your job to educate your kids at the family level. dont expect other people to look after your kids.
if u think that the producer should change the time of the programme jus because ur kids are watching tv at 7 o'clock in the evening, mayb it's easier if u write to the forum and tell the mothers to sit there at 7 pm and educate the kids while watching the show together?
dun blame everything on others.
dun blame it on interests, the society, the system, the media, the teachers.
if u have not thought about where did u go wrong, u've most probably already gone wrong.

all the hype about a chinese that went missing in singapore and later found murdered lately...
my heart totally goes out for the girl. i think no matter what kind of grudges adults have against each other should neva neva be taken out on a kid. Moreover she's only 8... what kind of sick pervert can actually murder such a kid... i just feel that whatever that has happened, she's the most innocent victim out of the whole episode...

the case is still being looked into.
i guess as much as the killer is responsible. i cant help but think about what kind of mother would leave a girl in a foreign country for nearly a week or more. and the thing is, she has the cheek to say it's not the first time. If the mother really had the child's interest at heart, really loved her child, would she had done that? leav the girl with some fellow tenant and go back to china. yes, singapore is safe, she had exams... so what? even if it is not foreseeable that something so drastic could happen, some minor accidents like being scalded when she's left alone at home? for god's sake it's an 8 year old we are talking about, not a 14 or 15 year old kid. as much as everyone has different standards of how independant a kid should be, as a mother who ought to be doting on her daughter, how could she ?
it is when the little ger went missing, when the little girl was found dead, then she tot of buying her toys, greatest funeral in the whole wide world, nicest clothes..
i jus cant help but feel that she was doing all that for show.. i dont mean she did not do it sincerely for her child. perhaps due to my own prejudice, i jus cant help it. that she could get more coverage, get more sympathy.. perhaps i'm jus cynical.

On top of that, i CANNOT believe that singaporeans can be so gullible, stupid, naive and rich.
they have given the money to the parents willingly, without duress. they did not stop and think about whether the money will be put into good use. they did not think about wat has led to the kid's death. Out of compassion and not knowing how else to show their condolences, they gave money.
after they realised how much everyone has given the parents, then they started to regret. and wanted to know exactly how much they've given in total. the parents then say that they're going to give half to charity and the other half to bring back to china.
firstly, so what if you knew how much they have? what is it goin to change? you have given the money, it's theirs. How much is it doesn't really concern you. I jus dont understand how singaporean's brain work... it doesn't mean that the money comes from you, den they have to do what eva you say. it was a gratuitous gift, and it is their's to keep. If you had given the money sincerely, You should really keep ur gap shut. IT IS NOT A CHARITY SHOW WE HAVE ON TV, WHERE THEY ANNOUNCE THE AMOUNT THE RECEIVE EVERY SECOND. the parents have not called for "donation" and they do not have the liability to declose the amount. WAKE UP!!

Secondly, even though the father had promised to make donations with half the money he had taken, seriously, he really has no obligation to carry that promise out. so what if the money was given to them by locals, it doesn't mean they have to do good to our place. i can only think of two possible reasons that the locals are so insistent in the donation promise: (1) they're stupid enough to base on the promise make donations (2) they're merely insistent because they're unhappy that the couple should leave singapore withe so much of our money, and regret giving them so much money. and the only way they can sort of take back some money, is to insist that the couple honour their promise of making donation.

i think singaporeans have made a real fool of themselves. first, by donating money at first instance. money really isn't everything and totally show foreigners how we value life, with money. when they think there's nothing much they can help, they give money. there's a million and one things to do, like simply set up a webpage for the girl, to go and pay respect to her. jus say a little prayer for the girl, and if u wan media coverage, do it in a big group outside taka or something. Why is it that the only thing the singaporeans can give is money.

second, to ask how much money in total they have collected. even go to the extend of waiting outside the court jus to ask. it jus seems to me, the singaporeans have the mentallity that since the money was given by them, they have the right to know the total amount. that they have the right over how they use the money that was GIVEN to the couple. if it was so important how they use, then dun give them in the first place. make donations in the girl's name instead my dear fellow singaporeans.

i jus urge adults to stop acting like fools. if u wanna show compassion, there are million and one ways. if u use abit of brain, and abit of common sense, all these wouldn't have happened. it's unbelievable how naive our people have become. doing charity does not means giving money!
i guess we'll have to thank our mediacorp for all the charity shows for teaching our people that.
mayb we should have a circus of mediacorp artists at the funeral.

I wonder if i'm too stressed up by exams or because of pms... or perhaps jus one of my really whiny mood.

I'm jus very disappointed.
Disappointed in something people call love. Something that people claimed to bring two people together and try to work things out and stay together. Something that adds colour to one's life. Something that is suppose to bring joy to ur life. Something that you share with a special someone that is out there in some corner of the world. Someone that you will one day meet and just know that he is the one.
They've said so many things.
I'm starting to wonder... wonder what really is the meaning. What is the objective. What is it that you are suppose to do?
i thought i found it.

i would think i've dated people of different character. Different ways of knowing them, different ways of developing infatuation into relationship. Different ways of showing their love. Different ways of communication. Different ways of maintaining a relationship..
i guess there'll be a universal way of showing how u love someone. Somethings dont differ very much. you may say that you have a different way of showing ur love, somehow i jus don't feel it...
dun blame it on expectations. it's not... it's jus an intuition.
u noe about my insecurities, you noe how little faith i have in relationship..
i guess there's nothing much you can do to regain my faith...
Mayb u do love me... maybe u think you love me.. only time can tell if you really love or you are jus fulfilling some promise that you've got urself into...
in the end, it all becomes an endurance game... How much u can endure me, and how long can i take being a burden. How long it takes me to find out there is no longer anything left for me to stay.
it jus feels like my 2nd relationship all over again...
i dunnoe where is this goin...

mayb its high time i really give up on relationship all together...

or it's jus my emotional side showing itself today...

when you're alone, when you're down and out, when you're faced with difficulties and problems to solve, when u've gotta push urself to move on...

althou there's nothing much that can be done... i guess there'll always be a name, a face, that will make things seems easier... there'll always be words and memories that keep you going... there'll always be hope and dreams that push u on...

Jus had my 24 hour sls assignment yesterday and handed it up this morning. i really have no idea how i have done and would prefer not to find out too soon. The question was quite general, thus we had to do reseach on it first. However, the internet is so vast, everything seems relevant. On top of that, even if i had my own ideas, it jus did not feel rite to write them in the pprs unless i had substantiation or proof from submission or pprs that other people wrote on the internet. it jus seems like i don't have any confidence in what i thought of.

i guess after enrolling into law sch, my confidence level has been dipping and it's currently at the new low. I guess as bad as i was, i've never doubt myself so much before. I've always believed that hardwork will never get you to the top, however it'll bring you somewhere near the top. It jus doesn't seems applicable anymore. or is it that i've not been working hard enough? firstly, i lose out in my language, writen or spoken, i just don't have it. I don't think i even have the belief that i could speak properly in English now. At the same time, my written english just doesn't seems to be for readers of the lecturers' calibre. It looks more for low class newspaper, reporting gossip. Even such reports are grammatically correct.

Also, i'm neither good at remembering things nor a fan of creative thinking. The expectations are such that knowing the rules and tings that were taught are not enough. One has to be able to weave them together, such that you can distinguish what the old cases said and whether the law was right to begin with. I jus find it so hard to critic things there are in our curriculum and even more so when you are brought up to listen and jus learn. Moreover, from the start, there was much emphasis on the importance of certainty in our law system and Precedence by old cases will help to ensure that. it is an indication that in order to be certain in our advice to clients, we are suppose to substantiate all our theories with case lawS

There is this complaint by the industry and our lecturers that local law students are only good at taking exams, in the event that life is an exam, we will definitely score the best in the whole world. How can they blame us? when all the privileges that they provide (such as exchange program and double degree program) hinges so much upon your grades, and first year grades if i may add. it used to be just guessing what the examiner was looking for and write an exam ans to them. Presently, in order to respond to the industry's feedback and government's call for thinking nation, they add the thinking element into the markng scheme. Other than a respond to the question, one has to think out of the box to achieve a good grade. Those people that claim that students are only exam smart has change the examination system. Such that nowadays, people HAve to be exam smart AS well AS think out of the box. so ultimately, Students can continue with their passive learning by memorising wat kind of response is needed to be "thinking out of the box".
There is endless expectations they have of local students, i'm speaking for other levels as well. As long as it is in the demand in the market, they will inflict it upon us on top of all that they had in the past. Grade us for everything and complain that we will only take things seriously if it is graded. Com'on, with all the additional things that we have to do and in consideration that we only have so much time. isn't the fact that if a subject is examinable the most fundamental question you ask urself, in order to allocate your time for these things?
industries based their preliminary impression of a person by his grades; the school based its confidence in u to take up extra curriculum and to represent it upon his grades too. Does these not call for us students to be extra careful with subjects that are going to be graded? I disagree strongly that grades are everything, but grades still count for many things, if not all.

perhaps people may think i'm whining because i am not doin well currently. Think again. Don't you sometimes feel that the government and sch are merely adding on to our workload? when they suddenly realised that what they have taught for last 2 or 3 decades is wrong, there should be a change. However this change comes in the form of additional things to present system instead of making fundamental changes in the system. it's like cracks on an over pressured dam wall - you patch it up here, cracks start to form elsewhere. eventually the whole system is going to collaspe on u.

Well, daily entries turn to weekly entries and slowly became monthly entries... soon i guess i'll forget about this whole blog altogether..
will i?
it has been with me for the most significant part of my life thus far..

Anyway, it's important now that i write in proper english rather than how i speak everyday. I've been receiving comments that my assignments had really bad grammar and the sentences were badly structured. I was totally ruined by my bad english. To say it was devastating was qt an understatement - for first time in my life i realised the need for proper english. However, after some thought, there isn't really any choice but learn to speak and write properly for a change. I mean I'll be relying largely on English for the rest of my education, needless to say my career. Even if i happen to go over and practice for Chinese business, i guess there is still a high probability that i've to use ENGLISH, one way or another, i will be in the clutches of ENGLISH, until the day i DIE.
talk about devastating.

By the way, i just watched De-Lovely yesterday. It was great! It's a musical turned movie, i guess that gave a greater room for creativity than it being a musical. The songs were witty; the plot - thou cliche, but still touches hearts. You can see or rather hear that from the sounds of weeping... and the singing, the actors were superb! hahaha
basically the movie swept me off my feet. Paul suggested it and i'm glad i took his suggestion!

I have been sitting here since ten in the morning, had a break at 1330 for lunch that stretched till 2 plus goin to three... and went for a nap at 1630 to 1845.. and surfing the net till now.. i guess it's time to return to my books, or rather laptop..

exams are near, i totally have no confidence..
sigh..
i think i can say goodbye to my overseas exchange programme in year three.. SULKZ

cheers
wr