"i keep dreaming that you'll be with me and you'll never go" Far away - nickelback
Only 20 odd days to my 8 credit evidence exam, seldom go for lectures and tutorial. Starting everything from scratch right here right now. I really hope i pull this thru.
I feel like a bottle.. keeping things inside of me like sand filling it up.. Each day a little more is added into the bottle...
"Hold on to me and never let go"
It is an emo morning. Even the songs are shuffled that way. I'm going to start doing my work after i get this emo-ness out of my way.
I should choose to walk away. Then it'll be better for all of us. All the thoughts about what will happen after this shouldn't matter. Because then, you'll have nothing to do with me anymore. Even right now.
So many thoughts about you and I.
I know it is over when you asked that.
WR
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
having a slight hangover from yesterday's long island teas... Yes with an S... my friends bot jugs and jugs.. and they were like never ending.. Pretty much nothing to do but drink.. Sigh. I miss those good old days where we stood around and simply stare at people walking pass. Now most of them are attached, so gotta sit down at table and be mature. Damn.
i was never so drunk before. Was so drunk dat i couldn't focus on anything... that after going to the toilet for a second time, i left the pub myself. I knew i couldn't go back to drink somemore.. And i puke on the cab. REALLY badly.. The cab driver was scolding me when i got off.. And i had to sit at the staircase to wait for my parents to go to bed before i could go in.. Because the puke was pretty obvious on my top.. I was on the fone with my friend but i had no idea what i said.. All i knew was i was going on and on and on.. And told him something about me knowing that i had to go home myself...
And i managed to shower, change, tuck myself into bed and send a couple of sms before going to sleep.
Bottom line - i can take care of myself even when i'm drunk. and that is something i'm very proud of. I seriously was sad or anything when i was drinking. I just din expect the drinks to have such high alcoholic content. it was after the 3rd glass that i was spinning. I knew i couldn't stay on cos i was afraid i'll start saying things that i shldn't be saying.. LOL But i was very quiet at the table... Bleahhhzz
I am not going to drink so much anymore. Better yet i shld prob quit drinking.
going to study.
WR
i was never so drunk before. Was so drunk dat i couldn't focus on anything... that after going to the toilet for a second time, i left the pub myself. I knew i couldn't go back to drink somemore.. And i puke on the cab. REALLY badly.. The cab driver was scolding me when i got off.. And i had to sit at the staircase to wait for my parents to go to bed before i could go in.. Because the puke was pretty obvious on my top.. I was on the fone with my friend but i had no idea what i said.. All i knew was i was going on and on and on.. And told him something about me knowing that i had to go home myself...
And i managed to shower, change, tuck myself into bed and send a couple of sms before going to sleep.
Bottom line - i can take care of myself even when i'm drunk. and that is something i'm very proud of. I seriously was sad or anything when i was drinking. I just din expect the drinks to have such high alcoholic content. it was after the 3rd glass that i was spinning. I knew i couldn't stay on cos i was afraid i'll start saying things that i shldn't be saying.. LOL But i was very quiet at the table... Bleahhhzz
I am not going to drink so much anymore. Better yet i shld prob quit drinking.
going to study.
WR
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Just a few tots:
1) Pretty/handsome people go out with ugly people to make sure there is still some sense of fairness in this world. so that when u see an uglier man with a good looking chick, u can still say that you cannot get her only because u are poorer...
2) Greying population means very soon, the 9 seats on each side of the MRT carriage will be occupied only by older people.
3) You probably wouldn't get any outright responses if you discriminate against stupid/ugly people. Who would want to admit that he/she is ugly/stupid?
4) Singaporeans are actually very pretty/handsome, take a look at friendster. I just wonder where they all go in de real world. Welcome to digital age.
5) When you put 'single', with a few photos of urself on friendster, considerably good looking, you are either a gay or a flirt. to conclude if you are either, just take note of how many pretty girls vs the number of hunky guys on ur friendster...
6) 'Single' doesn't really mean 'single'. And those who are cute are all 'in a r/s'
7) Pretty girls blocked the access to their friendster. So if you think you are pretty, block ur friendster. HAhaha and if you actually are ugly... den a lot of people will be laughing at you. But it is okie, because u'll never meet them anyway...
8) I must be very bored while d/ling new wallpaper for my new fone.
9) If you put pictures of you clubbing; pictures of ur girl friends; anything to show that u are wild, have lotsa girlfriends and pretty, you'll be entitled to block people once ur friendster list hit 500?
10) Just to make it a perfect ten, i shall squeeze a line here. Actually from 6 onwards, i was simply saying things for the sake of saying. I guess most of you have figured that out...
Cheers!
WR
1) Pretty/handsome people go out with ugly people to make sure there is still some sense of fairness in this world. so that when u see an uglier man with a good looking chick, u can still say that you cannot get her only because u are poorer...
2) Greying population means very soon, the 9 seats on each side of the MRT carriage will be occupied only by older people.
3) You probably wouldn't get any outright responses if you discriminate against stupid/ugly people. Who would want to admit that he/she is ugly/stupid?
4) Singaporeans are actually very pretty/handsome, take a look at friendster. I just wonder where they all go in de real world. Welcome to digital age.
5) When you put 'single', with a few photos of urself on friendster, considerably good looking, you are either a gay or a flirt. to conclude if you are either, just take note of how many pretty girls vs the number of hunky guys on ur friendster...
6) 'Single' doesn't really mean 'single'. And those who are cute are all 'in a r/s'
7) Pretty girls blocked the access to their friendster. So if you think you are pretty, block ur friendster. HAhaha and if you actually are ugly... den a lot of people will be laughing at you. But it is okie, because u'll never meet them anyway...
8) I must be very bored while d/ling new wallpaper for my new fone.
9) If you put pictures of you clubbing; pictures of ur girl friends; anything to show that u are wild, have lotsa girlfriends and pretty, you'll be entitled to block people once ur friendster list hit 500?
10) Just to make it a perfect ten, i shall squeeze a line here. Actually from 6 onwards, i was simply saying things for the sake of saying. I guess most of you have figured that out...
Cheers!
WR
Monday, October 23, 2006
I'm restless. Simply cant start on my unfinished report. Need to calm myself down. Ever had this feeling that you wish to do something really out of this world but have no idea what to do?
I guess i'm going to do my work for a few hours and run out again.
Yesterday's head lines on The Sundays Times - about the sports' couple and how incompatible they are. I'm curious, what makes the media think that we want to know about that? Is that news? It isn't even talking about a break up, just a speculated break up, an analysis of how not compatible the couple is. wth? What is our papers coming to? I wonder how the heck did the reporter go about sourcing for information.
reporter: "Do you think they are getting on well"
Friend: "They are going through some bad patches now..."
reporter: "Bad patches, what do you think cause them?"
Friend: "Family background, language barrier..."
reporter: "Do you think all these will cause them to break up?"
Unbelievable...
Yup i did read the report, because i wanted to know what's the big deal such that it actually is worthy of a front page coverage of the "news". and it turns out, it is a freaking analysis of how the relationship of our sports golden couple... I can only imagine how they'll feel once they see the report.
LJW: Oh look! Our friends are commenting on OUR relationship in the National papers!"
S: Oh yeah! We're on the front page!!
LJW: Looks like they dun think we're very compatible...
S: Oh dear, what do you think?
... It is a fact that friends will evaluate their friends' relationship behind their backs, it is worse to do it to their face, now u put in on the papers? My sympathies man.
Negative about anything i have been seeing lately. Cannot see the silver lining behind this hazy weather.
Nope, i'm not going to start about stupid indonesians who burn the forest. Instead, i wanna talk about Singaporeans.. Chinese Singaporeans to be more specific. Yes, we are having a very hazy sky over here lately. Yes, i am angry with stupid Indo officials who are not doing anything about it and the president's words which don't mean a thing. Yes, i am very much affected by the haze as you are.
But friends, in the midst of this haziness, is it possible not to burn the incense now? My parents and grandparents are guilty of this too, so i know! If you wanna add on to the pollution den u have no right to complain okie? Smokers and the people who burn the paper alike! It is I!!! who don't smoke, don't burn paper, don't drive who shld complain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is I who go running regularly shld complain!
And even I, since i pillion on my friends' bikes, decided not to because i am an accomplice some how.
The point is, stop complaining and do whatever you can to salvage the situation. Not to worsen it. Not to say that, "why should i restrict myself when it is the others who did this upon me?" Stop that self-pitying mentality, and do yourself some good! You can definitely continue to do what u normally do and in the end you'll be the one that is the worse hit. So what is the point? The wind is not going to change direction suddenly and the incense smoke will start blowing towards indonesia. U cannot hold their hand up for them and make them pledge that they'll never burn the forest again. Nothing will come out of the complaining, so why not do something that is within your means?
I hate Singaporeans at hawker centres. For all of you who don't know, my parents own a stall selling carrot cake and char kway teow. and I have to go help out once in a while. I hate them because you can see some of the most demanding, unreasonable, snobbish, petty and hateful side of Singaporeans. Some of them make me feel as if all hawkers are out to cheat their money...
Customer : One carrot cake.
Me : Black or white?
C : er.... Black..
Me: With chilli?
C : abit.
Me: Where do you sit?
C : There (points to the seats behind our stall which is blocked by the whole stretch of stalls...)
Me: Near where ah?
C : there, the laksa store there loh...
Me: No number?
C : don't know leh..
Me: Okie (makes a mental note of the color of the clothes and the stupid face)
C : Small one hor...
At which point, i just wanna scold F***
Let me break it down for you singaporeans eater. There is a reason for the number on ur table. It is not for you to buy 4-d by putting the numbers of 2 tables together. It is for you be seated anywhere, and order fr any store so that it is more convenient for the store owner to find u, in the event u decided to go buy sugar cane juice when the food arrives.
And please, by the meaning of 'near', it should mean prob about 2 tables away. You are NOT near the laksa stall when you are like 10 tables away and Diagonally summore! You are not considered near just because u ordered the laksa and your small brain can only remember that stall around u!
And last but the most irritating... "small one hor..." It just implies that we'll give u a "big" one if you don't specify, just to 'cheat' your money. Hey, i take this very personally. It is a total insult to our personality and integrity. Perhaps at certain hawker centres they do that, but those who come often enough should know. It is when these people who say 'small one hor..' that pisses me off. And the biggest joke is when you send the SMALL one to his table of 6 or 7 people and they ask for 4 pairs of chopsticks. (*&()*^*&(%&^$&^%$
Good service to these people? Up Yours!
I guess i'm going to do my work for a few hours and run out again.
Yesterday's head lines on The Sundays Times - about the sports' couple and how incompatible they are. I'm curious, what makes the media think that we want to know about that? Is that news? It isn't even talking about a break up, just a speculated break up, an analysis of how not compatible the couple is. wth? What is our papers coming to? I wonder how the heck did the reporter go about sourcing for information.
reporter: "Do you think they are getting on well"
Friend: "They are going through some bad patches now..."
reporter: "Bad patches, what do you think cause them?"
Friend: "Family background, language barrier..."
reporter: "Do you think all these will cause them to break up?"
Unbelievable...
Yup i did read the report, because i wanted to know what's the big deal such that it actually is worthy of a front page coverage of the "news". and it turns out, it is a freaking analysis of how the relationship of our sports golden couple... I can only imagine how they'll feel once they see the report.
LJW: Oh look! Our friends are commenting on OUR relationship in the National papers!"
S: Oh yeah! We're on the front page!!
LJW: Looks like they dun think we're very compatible...
S: Oh dear, what do you think?
... It is a fact that friends will evaluate their friends' relationship behind their backs, it is worse to do it to their face, now u put in on the papers? My sympathies man.
Negative about anything i have been seeing lately. Cannot see the silver lining behind this hazy weather.
Nope, i'm not going to start about stupid indonesians who burn the forest. Instead, i wanna talk about Singaporeans.. Chinese Singaporeans to be more specific. Yes, we are having a very hazy sky over here lately. Yes, i am angry with stupid Indo officials who are not doing anything about it and the president's words which don't mean a thing. Yes, i am very much affected by the haze as you are.
But friends, in the midst of this haziness, is it possible not to burn the incense now? My parents and grandparents are guilty of this too, so i know! If you wanna add on to the pollution den u have no right to complain okie? Smokers and the people who burn the paper alike! It is I!!! who don't smoke, don't burn paper, don't drive who shld complain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is I who go running regularly shld complain!
And even I, since i pillion on my friends' bikes, decided not to because i am an accomplice some how.
The point is, stop complaining and do whatever you can to salvage the situation. Not to worsen it. Not to say that, "why should i restrict myself when it is the others who did this upon me?" Stop that self-pitying mentality, and do yourself some good! You can definitely continue to do what u normally do and in the end you'll be the one that is the worse hit. So what is the point? The wind is not going to change direction suddenly and the incense smoke will start blowing towards indonesia. U cannot hold their hand up for them and make them pledge that they'll never burn the forest again. Nothing will come out of the complaining, so why not do something that is within your means?
I hate Singaporeans at hawker centres. For all of you who don't know, my parents own a stall selling carrot cake and char kway teow. and I have to go help out once in a while. I hate them because you can see some of the most demanding, unreasonable, snobbish, petty and hateful side of Singaporeans. Some of them make me feel as if all hawkers are out to cheat their money...
Customer : One carrot cake.
Me : Black or white?
C : er.... Black..
Me: With chilli?
C : abit.
Me: Where do you sit?
C : There (points to the seats behind our stall which is blocked by the whole stretch of stalls...)
Me: Near where ah?
C : there, the laksa store there loh...
Me: No number?
C : don't know leh..
Me: Okie (makes a mental note of the color of the clothes and the stupid face)
C : Small one hor...
At which point, i just wanna scold F***
Let me break it down for you singaporeans eater. There is a reason for the number on ur table. It is not for you to buy 4-d by putting the numbers of 2 tables together. It is for you be seated anywhere, and order fr any store so that it is more convenient for the store owner to find u, in the event u decided to go buy sugar cane juice when the food arrives.
And please, by the meaning of 'near', it should mean prob about 2 tables away. You are NOT near the laksa stall when you are like 10 tables away and Diagonally summore! You are not considered near just because u ordered the laksa and your small brain can only remember that stall around u!
And last but the most irritating... "small one hor..." It just implies that we'll give u a "big" one if you don't specify, just to 'cheat' your money. Hey, i take this very personally. It is a total insult to our personality and integrity. Perhaps at certain hawker centres they do that, but those who come often enough should know. It is when these people who say 'small one hor..' that pisses me off. And the biggest joke is when you send the SMALL one to his table of 6 or 7 people and they ask for 4 pairs of chopsticks. (*&()*^*&(%&^$&^%$
Good service to these people? Up Yours!
Bad day. Because:
1) Kenna really bad scolding from my dad.
2) Liverpool lost 2-0 to Man utd.
But the rest of the day sort of salvage it a little.
Now as i wait for my hair to dry, i shall write someting to pass time..
Well, i guess i'll start with this burning question of mine ever since i learnt about how a man was so poor that he jump off the MRT platform. It was reported that he was jobless for 4 months, and the fam of 4 had to live on SGD500 every month. The HDB instalment alone was 300++ At the time he passed away, the total amount of cash the whole family had was $30. My condolences to the family. But i have wanting to ask this for a long long time:
How can a man be jobless for 4 months in singapore?
If your two sons and wife has been suffering, your debts total to about $8000, you must be very desperate to work. Hence willing to do anything. I guess a father who really wants to be responsible for his family, shld be strong and take up any job that comes his way.
But perhaps to be fair, it might be too mentally demanding to be strong in that kind of situation.
Secondly, didn't they just announce that our unemployment rate decreased some time ago? Somehow i feel that sometimes they paint such a beautiful picture of an average Singaporean life and we sort of forget about all these people struggling out there. Which makes up the majority of singaporeans. What is the point of giving $5000, $10 000 now after he has died? When he was alive, his relatives and friends probably shun him. If he had tried getting a job, he was probably looked down upon by those people interviewing him. When he asked for help, people probably mocked him. So what is the freaking point of the money?
Is the 40 000 going to compensate the kids what they'll be missing because their dad had to die just to exchange for that amt of money? Is that 40 000 going to be enough for a widow, who is disabled, who's husband should still be with her if he had gotten a little help?
Jus how many more of them will jump for that 40 000 prize money, to put it more simply, 1 life in exchange for 3. They have no idea how attractive this amt is, put in front of families with similar situation.
Money, is the only way they know how to help. Cold hard cash can solve any problems that come on the way. How bout some preventive act? How bout more volunteers to take care of people's mental well-being? How bout a more caring society, instead of one which only have 4 million smiles taken on digital cam and non in reality? How about more government funded projects to help these people, how bout fine tuning the qualification test for obtain welfare?
Will the death of man knock some sense into this society? Or is it going to be generated further by Money?
Singaporeans, very caring but too little actually uses their head.
Gd night.
WR
1) Kenna really bad scolding from my dad.
2) Liverpool lost 2-0 to Man utd.
But the rest of the day sort of salvage it a little.
Now as i wait for my hair to dry, i shall write someting to pass time..
Well, i guess i'll start with this burning question of mine ever since i learnt about how a man was so poor that he jump off the MRT platform. It was reported that he was jobless for 4 months, and the fam of 4 had to live on SGD500 every month. The HDB instalment alone was 300++ At the time he passed away, the total amount of cash the whole family had was $30. My condolences to the family. But i have wanting to ask this for a long long time:
How can a man be jobless for 4 months in singapore?
If your two sons and wife has been suffering, your debts total to about $8000, you must be very desperate to work. Hence willing to do anything. I guess a father who really wants to be responsible for his family, shld be strong and take up any job that comes his way.
But perhaps to be fair, it might be too mentally demanding to be strong in that kind of situation.
Secondly, didn't they just announce that our unemployment rate decreased some time ago? Somehow i feel that sometimes they paint such a beautiful picture of an average Singaporean life and we sort of forget about all these people struggling out there. Which makes up the majority of singaporeans. What is the point of giving $5000, $10 000 now after he has died? When he was alive, his relatives and friends probably shun him. If he had tried getting a job, he was probably looked down upon by those people interviewing him. When he asked for help, people probably mocked him. So what is the freaking point of the money?
Is the 40 000 going to compensate the kids what they'll be missing because their dad had to die just to exchange for that amt of money? Is that 40 000 going to be enough for a widow, who is disabled, who's husband should still be with her if he had gotten a little help?
Jus how many more of them will jump for that 40 000 prize money, to put it more simply, 1 life in exchange for 3. They have no idea how attractive this amt is, put in front of families with similar situation.
Money, is the only way they know how to help. Cold hard cash can solve any problems that come on the way. How bout some preventive act? How bout more volunteers to take care of people's mental well-being? How bout a more caring society, instead of one which only have 4 million smiles taken on digital cam and non in reality? How about more government funded projects to help these people, how bout fine tuning the qualification test for obtain welfare?
Will the death of man knock some sense into this society? Or is it going to be generated further by Money?
Singaporeans, very caring but too little actually uses their head.
Gd night.
WR
Friday, October 20, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
the first 3 months of knowing ur crush, crushing ur crush, getting know ur crush, finding out that he likes you too and being together with him is the best part of the relationship. Thereafter it all goes down hill.
I need more of this, less of a relationship.
I hereby official announce that all men have a 3 months expiry date from the time you get to know them, except my family members and some close guy friends. Gays not included.
I need more of this, less of a relationship.
I hereby official announce that all men have a 3 months expiry date from the time you get to know them, except my family members and some close guy friends. Gays not included.
As I Mature...
1)I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes
2)I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that you better have a big willy or big boobs
3)I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there better be a lot of money to take its place.
4)I've learned that those people who are important to you are taken from you far too soon and those less important onese simply don't go away.
- Adapted from a word document sent by Metacafe "Mature"
Well contrast this with the chic song below. hahaha Remembered something else i read today "Every girl has a prince charming she's destined to meet, just that she has to kiss many frogs before she finally meet him."
And i wonder why i'm screwed this sem. (No, stupid. not because of relationship issues, because of the internet downloads...)
Hmmm.. Feeling indifferent about something. And it is always a bad sign when i start to feel indifferent about something/someone. Means that thing/person is going to be out of my life very very soon. And I guess it is a good thing.
It is not a natural feeling that i start to feel indifferent. I force myself to not care. I tell myself i don't want to care. Whether he shows up or not? whether this happens or not? Whether i get an A or not?
It is not even lowering expectations. I simply tell myself "it is always like dat. Nothing that you do can change it, so might as well don't be bothered by it. If it comes, it comes. Doesn't, den F*** it." Negative, yes. Pessimistic, yes. Better than carry the expectations and feel disappointed each and everytime things don't happen your way. And i don't believe in lowering expectations, ironical but yes. What's the point of lowering it to meet your standards, which will only perpetuate the cycle? Lower i go, the lower you go? It makes the whole equation simpler by me keeping my standards, force myself to be care less about you and move on after you hit the final button.
Yup that's me. I can tolerate and take any nonsense but at the same time, each time u hit a button, the small little imaginary bar on top of ur head decrease by a little. When the bar empties, that's when i'll walk on. For one, it takes a bout a month to piss me off, for others a year to two and for some one it is taking forever. But that is not the pont. The point is, you won't even know what did you do that push my button because i'll just keep quiet and be nice about it. Because i don't quarrel and I dun bother. What is the point of two people, who are blowing their top off, shouting/talking/screaming at each other. Nothing will come out of it.
Yawns
But not like anyone cares HAHAHAHA
Btw>> the other day i was having lunch with my good fren at sch... Since it was after a mass lecture, some members of the jock club joined us. I used 'joined us' because i met up with my friend. Since he was the popular one among the guys for soccer, his good friend came over to join us. And at lunch the number just kept increasing. So from 2, it became about 6. We're talking about the food, when one of them asked why din i order the beef ball noodles instead, i said it was too hard. And he was like "yeah damn solid" and i was like "yeah, solid like u-can-kill-someone-with-it solid". And this dude actually was like "er.. today's weather very good." and my good friend's good friend was like "yeahh good weather.. Heh heh heh"
Being polite, i kept quiet and smile. My good friend was like "what about the weather?" (note: my friend is a very smart guy who is very witty and funny, so when he doesn't get the joke, there is a problem with the joke, intellectually) which i totally understand.
For those of you out there who is lost, people (mostly chinese) use the 'fair weather' or 'weather very good' line to tell the last person who spoke that he/she just made a very lame comment. Lame not in the 'funny lame' but lame as in 'duh-eh'.
I explained this to my good friend right in front of the two retards who went like 'yah, you din noe'. As if it was the most popular and funny line.
In my mind i was like: dudes, grow up. That line is the 'duh-eh' joke. The joke is on you, not me. Cant you guys come up with something more intelligent? Even a dirty joke about the solid beef balls can beat ur stupid weather line. It is freaking ching chong and yes, i'm a chinese too. But i'm ashamed of how stupid and lack of maturity and how not funny it is. Comeon it is something i used to say when i was 13? Fellow school mate, i'm sure law sch have taught you more than that.
My good friend actually apologised on their behalf. Dude, i wasn't pissed of with them at all. Simply pathetic how their sense of humour is always stuck at the level where they make such dry comments to target someone weaker in the group. Why not try that on my friend? Because they know very well he'll come up with a come back that will make everyone laugh but u. Yeap, i'm afraid to stand up for myself. That's how ching chong i am and i come home to blog about it. In fact i shld be more pissed about myself than at them. I din stand up for myself, they have the right to say anything they want.
What a depressing entry. Then again most of my entries are depressing. Because i seldom blog when i'm happy. I guess most people out there are the same.
1)I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes
2)I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that you better have a big willy or big boobs
3)I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there better be a lot of money to take its place.
4)I've learned that those people who are important to you are taken from you far too soon and those less important onese simply don't go away.
- Adapted from a word document sent by Metacafe "Mature"
Well contrast this with the chic song below. hahaha Remembered something else i read today "Every girl has a prince charming she's destined to meet, just that she has to kiss many frogs before she finally meet him."
And i wonder why i'm screwed this sem. (No, stupid. not because of relationship issues, because of the internet downloads...)
Hmmm.. Feeling indifferent about something. And it is always a bad sign when i start to feel indifferent about something/someone. Means that thing/person is going to be out of my life very very soon. And I guess it is a good thing.
It is not a natural feeling that i start to feel indifferent. I force myself to not care. I tell myself i don't want to care. Whether he shows up or not? whether this happens or not? Whether i get an A or not?
It is not even lowering expectations. I simply tell myself "it is always like dat. Nothing that you do can change it, so might as well don't be bothered by it. If it comes, it comes. Doesn't, den F*** it." Negative, yes. Pessimistic, yes. Better than carry the expectations and feel disappointed each and everytime things don't happen your way. And i don't believe in lowering expectations, ironical but yes. What's the point of lowering it to meet your standards, which will only perpetuate the cycle? Lower i go, the lower you go? It makes the whole equation simpler by me keeping my standards, force myself to be care less about you and move on after you hit the final button.
Yup that's me. I can tolerate and take any nonsense but at the same time, each time u hit a button, the small little imaginary bar on top of ur head decrease by a little. When the bar empties, that's when i'll walk on. For one, it takes a bout a month to piss me off, for others a year to two and for some one it is taking forever. But that is not the pont. The point is, you won't even know what did you do that push my button because i'll just keep quiet and be nice about it. Because i don't quarrel and I dun bother. What is the point of two people, who are blowing their top off, shouting/talking/screaming at each other. Nothing will come out of it.
Yawns
But not like anyone cares HAHAHAHA
Btw>> the other day i was having lunch with my good fren at sch... Since it was after a mass lecture, some members of the jock club joined us. I used 'joined us' because i met up with my friend. Since he was the popular one among the guys for soccer, his good friend came over to join us. And at lunch the number just kept increasing. So from 2, it became about 6. We're talking about the food, when one of them asked why din i order the beef ball noodles instead, i said it was too hard. And he was like "yeah damn solid" and i was like "yeah, solid like u-can-kill-someone-with-it solid". And this dude actually was like "er.. today's weather very good." and my good friend's good friend was like "yeahh good weather.. Heh heh heh"
Being polite, i kept quiet and smile. My good friend was like "what about the weather?" (note: my friend is a very smart guy who is very witty and funny, so when he doesn't get the joke, there is a problem with the joke, intellectually) which i totally understand.
For those of you out there who is lost, people (mostly chinese) use the 'fair weather' or 'weather very good' line to tell the last person who spoke that he/she just made a very lame comment. Lame not in the 'funny lame' but lame as in 'duh-eh'.
I explained this to my good friend right in front of the two retards who went like 'yah, you din noe'. As if it was the most popular and funny line.
In my mind i was like: dudes, grow up. That line is the 'duh-eh' joke. The joke is on you, not me. Cant you guys come up with something more intelligent? Even a dirty joke about the solid beef balls can beat ur stupid weather line. It is freaking ching chong and yes, i'm a chinese too. But i'm ashamed of how stupid and lack of maturity and how not funny it is. Comeon it is something i used to say when i was 13? Fellow school mate, i'm sure law sch have taught you more than that.
My good friend actually apologised on their behalf. Dude, i wasn't pissed of with them at all. Simply pathetic how their sense of humour is always stuck at the level where they make such dry comments to target someone weaker in the group. Why not try that on my friend? Because they know very well he'll come up with a come back that will make everyone laugh but u. Yeap, i'm afraid to stand up for myself. That's how ching chong i am and i come home to blog about it. In fact i shld be more pissed about myself than at them. I din stand up for myself, they have the right to say anything they want.
What a depressing entry. Then again most of my entries are depressing. Because i seldom blog when i'm happy. I guess most people out there are the same.
I could get used to this - the veronicas
You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
I could get used to this
You think I look the best
When my hair is a mess
I can't believe you exist
I could get used to this
Because I know you're too good to be true
I must have done something good to meet you
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
You love the songs I write
You like the movies I like
There must be some kind of twist
But I could get used to this
You kiss me listen to me when I'm depressed
It doesn't seem to make you like me less
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
If there's a dark side to you I haven't seen it
Every good thing you do feels like you mean it
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
And I could get used to this
You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
I could get used to this
You think I look the best
When my hair is a mess
I can't believe you exist
I could get used to this
Because I know you're too good to be true
I must have done something good to meet you
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
You love the songs I write
You like the movies I like
There must be some kind of twist
But I could get used to this
You kiss me listen to me when I'm depressed
It doesn't seem to make you like me less
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
If there's a dark side to you I haven't seen it
Every good thing you do feels like you mean it
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
And I could get used to this
My brain simply refuse to start doing work... It is 1030.. I need my daily dosage of videos. Yes i'm completely addicted to videos, be it stand up comedies, stupid clips.. Rah... Darn
I realised i always have weird addiction comes exam... DAMN
I need to start getting nervous about exam
Shit man i really think i'm going to fail this time...
F*** up..
wr
I realised i always have weird addiction comes exam... DAMN
I need to start getting nervous about exam
Shit man i really think i'm going to fail this time...
F*** up..
wr
Monday, October 16, 2006
Morning people.. First up, i took down the tagboard because something is wrong with it. And it is not within my abilities/time to do something about it.. So to save all that hassle, i simply took it down. in its place, you guys can comment by clicking the small lil comment link after each entry.. Feel free.
Second, i just went Vivo city yesterday. Just to check out what is the big hoo-ha about the place.. Seriously, other than it being big, with a lot of shops, selling very expensive things, I don't see anything special about it.. There is a 'pool' on the roof, which a lot of kids went to dip their legs in, run about in the water. I'm not too sure if it was built for it, but it is what it is now. Because when my aunt commented on that feature of the shopping centre, she actually commended on how considerate the designer must be for him to think of such feature for the kid.. I tot that was what the playground on the 2nd level should do.. But since there's no use for the 'pool' right now, because some parts of the place is still under-renovation, there's no harm letting them enjoy themselves. Then i suddenly remembered how, in Singapore HDB, most of our water tanks are on the top of the buildings... And i started to wonder if the kids, when they are waist deep in the 'pool', did they relieve themselves into the pool... You make the connection...
Anyway, yesterday the PSI was pretty high when i was out. Again, feel like i stay in genting without the cool weather and plus the smell of burning.. And i saw something funny at the coffee shop.. at least to me it was funny.
A guy riding a bike, wearing a clinic mask. For those who have no idea, surgical mask do not help keep out the small little particles in the air, that you wish not to breathe in by wearing a mask. U wear this N95 (or some number) mask, that is round, that we wear during sars. Not the retangular surgical mask.. That's not all. If you are riding a bike, you are already exposed to exhaust most of the time, even when our neighbour isn't flaming the forests. And dude, by riding a bike, you are adding on to the haze.. So what's up with the mask?
Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against people who ride bike, in fact i was there with my friends who ride. And i think it is perfectly fine for someone who wished to protect himself against the killer haze out there. But perhaps buy the right mask or go public?
Oh.. And one last thing before i go back to my serious work. I happened to read Youthink TST today.. There was a section about IP rights.. Well, i'm taking a foundations of IP module this sem and i feel pretty strongly about what they've said. Let me just firstly say that when you do IP rights module, the more you despise those who 'invented' the rights.
There was an entry describing how 'hypothetically' tempting it was to download music off the internet because: (1)The CD is SGD$29.90, and she only wanted one song from it; (2)Her friend downloaded it off the internet and had it in his mobile phone, offered to bluetooth it to her; (3)A simple search on the internet, she could find the song she wanted at an instance. Therefore, temptation great, means piracy more.
Well, for the benefit of many of you out there, when we first 'invented' IP rights, the only rights these songs had, were the lyrics copyright. (if my memory hasn't failed me) Then the singers decided, hey, if they can create a right out of nothing for the lyrics, shouldn't I who sing it have some kind of right toO?
Mr/Miss Singer, i'm sorry but i'm afraid you cannot copyright a sound..
Why not? All these things are man-made anyway. If there are moral rights to lyrics and plays, there should be moral rights to my voice~~~ the way i sing the songs.
And we have the big music producing companies throwing billions of money lobbying for such copy right because they know they are going to profit from it, at the end of the battle.
As ignorant and myopic as i might sound to all the economists, IP law lecturers out there, IP right isn't a natural right. It is a freaking man-made right, created by the rich to make the poor pay, widening the gap. WHen the rich countries have no more machines to sell to the poor, the sell intangible rights like that. And the poor countries will sell more raw materials and now plus machines but buy the knowledge to better all these from the rich. Because they are part of WTO, therefore part of TRIPs. If they do not comply, trade embargo can be imposed on them. Tell me why is there still poverty in the world?
But the silver lining behind this is that: If you can sell knowledge, i bet u can sell almost anything. We even have people selling oxygen.. SELLING AIR!!!!!! Hello, what happened to Air being a free good in our first econs lecture? Are we going to sell sunlight next? What? there is already people selling UV light for tanning indoors.. K, that's the only two things that my econs lecturer said were free goods..
Yes, and i'm sure money is not the most important thing in the world, love is.. Try using love to buy all that yeah?
WR
Second, i just went Vivo city yesterday. Just to check out what is the big hoo-ha about the place.. Seriously, other than it being big, with a lot of shops, selling very expensive things, I don't see anything special about it.. There is a 'pool' on the roof, which a lot of kids went to dip their legs in, run about in the water. I'm not too sure if it was built for it, but it is what it is now. Because when my aunt commented on that feature of the shopping centre, she actually commended on how considerate the designer must be for him to think of such feature for the kid.. I tot that was what the playground on the 2nd level should do.. But since there's no use for the 'pool' right now, because some parts of the place is still under-renovation, there's no harm letting them enjoy themselves. Then i suddenly remembered how, in Singapore HDB, most of our water tanks are on the top of the buildings... And i started to wonder if the kids, when they are waist deep in the 'pool', did they relieve themselves into the pool... You make the connection...
Anyway, yesterday the PSI was pretty high when i was out. Again, feel like i stay in genting without the cool weather and plus the smell of burning.. And i saw something funny at the coffee shop.. at least to me it was funny.
A guy riding a bike, wearing a clinic mask. For those who have no idea, surgical mask do not help keep out the small little particles in the air, that you wish not to breathe in by wearing a mask. U wear this N95 (or some number) mask, that is round, that we wear during sars. Not the retangular surgical mask.. That's not all. If you are riding a bike, you are already exposed to exhaust most of the time, even when our neighbour isn't flaming the forests. And dude, by riding a bike, you are adding on to the haze.. So what's up with the mask?
Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against people who ride bike, in fact i was there with my friends who ride. And i think it is perfectly fine for someone who wished to protect himself against the killer haze out there. But perhaps buy the right mask or go public?
Oh.. And one last thing before i go back to my serious work. I happened to read Youthink TST today.. There was a section about IP rights.. Well, i'm taking a foundations of IP module this sem and i feel pretty strongly about what they've said. Let me just firstly say that when you do IP rights module, the more you despise those who 'invented' the rights.
There was an entry describing how 'hypothetically' tempting it was to download music off the internet because: (1)The CD is SGD$29.90, and she only wanted one song from it; (2)Her friend downloaded it off the internet and had it in his mobile phone, offered to bluetooth it to her; (3)A simple search on the internet, she could find the song she wanted at an instance. Therefore, temptation great, means piracy more.
Well, for the benefit of many of you out there, when we first 'invented' IP rights, the only rights these songs had, were the lyrics copyright. (if my memory hasn't failed me) Then the singers decided, hey, if they can create a right out of nothing for the lyrics, shouldn't I who sing it have some kind of right toO?
Mr/Miss Singer, i'm sorry but i'm afraid you cannot copyright a sound..
Why not? All these things are man-made anyway. If there are moral rights to lyrics and plays, there should be moral rights to my voice~~~ the way i sing the songs.
And we have the big music producing companies throwing billions of money lobbying for such copy right because they know they are going to profit from it, at the end of the battle.
As ignorant and myopic as i might sound to all the economists, IP law lecturers out there, IP right isn't a natural right. It is a freaking man-made right, created by the rich to make the poor pay, widening the gap. WHen the rich countries have no more machines to sell to the poor, the sell intangible rights like that. And the poor countries will sell more raw materials and now plus machines but buy the knowledge to better all these from the rich. Because they are part of WTO, therefore part of TRIPs. If they do not comply, trade embargo can be imposed on them. Tell me why is there still poverty in the world?
But the silver lining behind this is that: If you can sell knowledge, i bet u can sell almost anything. We even have people selling oxygen.. SELLING AIR!!!!!! Hello, what happened to Air being a free good in our first econs lecture? Are we going to sell sunlight next? What? there is already people selling UV light for tanning indoors.. K, that's the only two things that my econs lecturer said were free goods..
Yes, and i'm sure money is not the most important thing in the world, love is.. Try using love to buy all that yeah?
WR
Friday, October 13, 2006
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
honey why you calling me so late?
honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
honey why you calling me so late?
the end is near. I can sense it.. History repeats itself. Enthusiasm dies off. Interests simmers. That's the way how it goes everytime.
It is disgusting how it all follows a pattern. It is disgusting how it is all so predictable. It is disgusting how mundane everything becomes after a while.
I want it to end on my terms. That is the least i can do to protect myself. At the end of the day, you've got to look out for urself.
I hope i can make the right decision.
Cheers.
It is disgusting how it all follows a pattern. It is disgusting how it is all so predictable. It is disgusting how mundane everything becomes after a while.
I want it to end on my terms. That is the least i can do to protect myself. At the end of the day, you've got to look out for urself.
I hope i can make the right decision.
Cheers.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Far Away - Nickelback
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
One my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
[CHORUS]
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving
Hold on to me and, never let me go
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
One my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
[CHORUS]
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Friend: Hey where are you?
Me: In the lib, wassup
Friend: nth
Me: How are you?
Friend: Gd, why the sudden concern?
A short msn conversation that just took place. And i wonder why do i feel like i'm better off alone. This friend of mine used to be my best pal in campus.. Maybe i'm too sensitive.. I guess i had quite a bad weekend, bad day yesterday, bad start today.
I made a promise to myself, if i'm not happy, i wouldn't continue with it. So what's the verdict now?
Me: In the lib, wassup
Friend: nth
Me: How are you?
Friend: Gd, why the sudden concern?
A short msn conversation that just took place. And i wonder why do i feel like i'm better off alone. This friend of mine used to be my best pal in campus.. Maybe i'm too sensitive.. I guess i had quite a bad weekend, bad day yesterday, bad start today.
I made a promise to myself, if i'm not happy, i wouldn't continue with it. So what's the verdict now?
No idea what i wanna write.. Received a comment that i think too much and am too emo. Perhaps i do, but i guess i can't help it. Am i thinking too much for a 21 year old? I know i can only become more and more jaded, cynical, skeptical..
It is not as if i don't look forward to a simple and naive relationship, but it is like an irreversible chemical reaction.. When you boil a sugar solution, all you get is a solution that turns more and more brown no matter how much heat u supply... You'll never get the sweet sugar ever again...
"Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?"
I promise by Stacie Orrico
I wonder is it something to do with me, that i've never met someone who would do all these for me.. haha That my character, the way i approach a relationship, the way i choose to react when i know a guy likes me as well, the way i do things..
I don't know.
But i do know that i wont be able to find someone like that.
One friend told me that "People don't believe me when i say i am single. But if i ever do tell them my criteria for bf, they'd probably tell me that i'll become a spinster. Because i have very stringent criteria for bf and i'm not willing to compromise, not now."
I know that if it was 3 years ago, i'd have told her that when love comes knocking, she wont know how to say no...
Right now, i know very well, that no one is perfect. Perfect boyfriend only exists in fictions.. And however good he is, he cannot read ur mind.. Moreover, the really good and even the not so good guys have already been snapped up or wont be interested in you.
hAHahah
You know what i know? I know that if i ever see him again, i'll still feel excited like 3 years ago. I know that if i have to choose again, i'll still choose to be together with you. I know that it'd be the best if i never see/contact you again. I know so much more than i really want to.
I lost a part of me the day you left..
I want to become a vegetarian... i want to be alone.. i want to find myself again... To be carefree.. to leave without regret...
I feel like a vampire, i transform at night. Into a character that even i dread. Lack of positivity, lack energy.. Dark. real dark.
Cheers people.
It is not as if i don't look forward to a simple and naive relationship, but it is like an irreversible chemical reaction.. When you boil a sugar solution, all you get is a solution that turns more and more brown no matter how much heat u supply... You'll never get the sweet sugar ever again...
"Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?"
I promise by Stacie Orrico
I wonder is it something to do with me, that i've never met someone who would do all these for me.. haha That my character, the way i approach a relationship, the way i choose to react when i know a guy likes me as well, the way i do things..
I don't know.
But i do know that i wont be able to find someone like that.
One friend told me that "People don't believe me when i say i am single. But if i ever do tell them my criteria for bf, they'd probably tell me that i'll become a spinster. Because i have very stringent criteria for bf and i'm not willing to compromise, not now."
I know that if it was 3 years ago, i'd have told her that when love comes knocking, she wont know how to say no...
Right now, i know very well, that no one is perfect. Perfect boyfriend only exists in fictions.. And however good he is, he cannot read ur mind.. Moreover, the really good and even the not so good guys have already been snapped up or wont be interested in you.
hAHahah
You know what i know? I know that if i ever see him again, i'll still feel excited like 3 years ago. I know that if i have to choose again, i'll still choose to be together with you. I know that it'd be the best if i never see/contact you again. I know so much more than i really want to.
I lost a part of me the day you left..
I want to become a vegetarian... i want to be alone.. i want to find myself again... To be carefree.. to leave without regret...
I feel like a vampire, i transform at night. Into a character that even i dread. Lack of positivity, lack energy.. Dark. real dark.
Cheers people.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
everything ended before anything could have happened. And seriously, a small part of me heaved a sigh of relief. That i have got the peace and calmness back after half a day of disappointment.
Just so you guys know, the guy that i had a crushed on actually told my fren that he 'already had someone in mind'. Translation: She's not my type. Which is a nicer way of saying 'she cannot make it'.
Maybe i'm being too harsh on myself (or not, as some of you out there might think). Then again, i guess the whole thing is more ego crushing than anything (no pun intended). And at the end of the day, it just goes back to 'we all should know where we stand and just keep to our standard'. I should have known that he was out of my reach. And rest assured i'm not just saying this because of this incident.
After half a day of ego breaking pain, i'm finally getting myself together and doing my research. Which is very rewarding and enriching. Maybe next sem i'll just get research paper modules. This ultimately proves my theory that at the end of the day, the only rewarding thing in my life, is to study. And unfortunately, i have been too little of during this sem.
Up till now, i have 4 assigments due end of october and beginning of nov. one written exam in mid nov. All of which i have barely started doing... But i'm determined to pull through this, somehow. And the above mentioned incident actually have some influence on my determination. At the end of the day, feelings come feelings go, people walk in and out of my life. But i have to face myself and my grades for the rest of my life. So tell me again, why am i wasting so much bloody time on people?
The sad thing is that my friends seems to be my priority, or rather i don't know how to reject my friends requests. If only my books will ask me out sometime, i guess i'll do better academically.. I guess at the end of the day, i just don't have discipline. Which is all going to change now..
Right now, i'm going back to my research paper.
I'm thankful that this sem, most of the things have worked out well for me. i had the modules of my first choice. My IP lecturer's misfortune has turned into a lucky break for me, final exam was changed to research paper due to her sickness. I wish she'll get better soon. All my modules have stopped and i have plenty of time to prepare for my final exams and do my research, if only i manage my time well.
I need to start somewhere to pick up what i've left behind.
Cheers
Just so you guys know, the guy that i had a crushed on actually told my fren that he 'already had someone in mind'. Translation: She's not my type. Which is a nicer way of saying 'she cannot make it'.
Maybe i'm being too harsh on myself (or not, as some of you out there might think). Then again, i guess the whole thing is more ego crushing than anything (no pun intended). And at the end of the day, it just goes back to 'we all should know where we stand and just keep to our standard'. I should have known that he was out of my reach. And rest assured i'm not just saying this because of this incident.
After half a day of ego breaking pain, i'm finally getting myself together and doing my research. Which is very rewarding and enriching. Maybe next sem i'll just get research paper modules. This ultimately proves my theory that at the end of the day, the only rewarding thing in my life, is to study. And unfortunately, i have been too little of during this sem.
Up till now, i have 4 assigments due end of october and beginning of nov. one written exam in mid nov. All of which i have barely started doing... But i'm determined to pull through this, somehow. And the above mentioned incident actually have some influence on my determination. At the end of the day, feelings come feelings go, people walk in and out of my life. But i have to face myself and my grades for the rest of my life. So tell me again, why am i wasting so much bloody time on people?
The sad thing is that my friends seems to be my priority, or rather i don't know how to reject my friends requests. If only my books will ask me out sometime, i guess i'll do better academically.. I guess at the end of the day, i just don't have discipline. Which is all going to change now..
Right now, i'm going back to my research paper.
I'm thankful that this sem, most of the things have worked out well for me. i had the modules of my first choice. My IP lecturer's misfortune has turned into a lucky break for me, final exam was changed to research paper due to her sickness. I wish she'll get better soon. All my modules have stopped and i have plenty of time to prepare for my final exams and do my research, if only i manage my time well.
I need to start somewhere to pick up what i've left behind.
Cheers
Monday, October 09, 2006
experience has taught me that it is more rewarding to put my effort on things which i know will yield returns, ie studies.
The trouble with your heart is that, it never learn from experience.
Not to say that i'm in anyway interested or in love with anyone. I can only say it is always nice to have little crushes here and there, whether they develop into something more is another question altogether.
However, when i'm alone i always like to look for little crushes and talk about them so much that they grow out of hand. And always end up in disaster. I guess it is high time i grow up and stop developing my puppy love crushes.
Crushes dont work because it is superficial. Things that aren't real, that we relate to when we see this person, whether he/she is really like that we dun care. That is why crushes are so exciting, because they are unreal, they are humans whom our mind relate to a certain kind of feeling due to its own imagination of how they are like. K the last sentence is a lil long, take some time to digest that...
So from now on, i guess i'll stop doing this childish act before it gets out of hand again. Yes, i find a particular guy very good looking while he plays bball matches. But that is about it. I shall stop telling my friends about him from today onwards, even though i will be going to watch his match tml.. Yup, end of story.
Love, even if i work hard, it doesn't work out
Friends, they come they go, they leave you and you can't complain.
School, i try hard enough, it shld come...
Family, always here, always can count on them..
So how shld i prioritize my time again?
Cheers.
WR
The trouble with your heart is that, it never learn from experience.
Not to say that i'm in anyway interested or in love with anyone. I can only say it is always nice to have little crushes here and there, whether they develop into something more is another question altogether.
However, when i'm alone i always like to look for little crushes and talk about them so much that they grow out of hand. And always end up in disaster. I guess it is high time i grow up and stop developing my puppy love crushes.
Crushes dont work because it is superficial. Things that aren't real, that we relate to when we see this person, whether he/she is really like that we dun care. That is why crushes are so exciting, because they are unreal, they are humans whom our mind relate to a certain kind of feeling due to its own imagination of how they are like. K the last sentence is a lil long, take some time to digest that...
So from now on, i guess i'll stop doing this childish act before it gets out of hand again. Yes, i find a particular guy very good looking while he plays bball matches. But that is about it. I shall stop telling my friends about him from today onwards, even though i will be going to watch his match tml.. Yup, end of story.
Love, even if i work hard, it doesn't work out
Friends, they come they go, they leave you and you can't complain.
School, i try hard enough, it shld come...
Family, always here, always can count on them..
So how shld i prioritize my time again?
Cheers.
WR
Friday, October 06, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
1) Why is it that when someone gets a partner, everything and everyone else becomes secondary?
2) What would you do if this was the last day of your life?
3)What would you wish for if you had one wish?
4) Between your family and your career/study, which will you choose?
5) why do people sms/msn you late at night and say "wah so late, still dunwan to sleep ah?"
2) What would you do if this was the last day of your life?
3)What would you wish for if you had one wish?
4) Between your family and your career/study, which will you choose?
5) why do people sms/msn you late at night and say "wah so late, still dunwan to sleep ah?"
Monday, October 02, 2006
I don't have much to write, i just feel like ranting when in fact i should be sleeping. I don't know who is crazy enough to be reading my blogs when all the while i simply write about nothing but i appreciate your support.
I want to be nasty.. Real nasty and selfish, so that i don't care how people react when i say certain things. To get things done the way i want it. To refuse to do things that i do not want to do. I don't wanna be a 'push-over'. I want to learn how to say no..
I hate being nice. Hate people who are nice and are being taken advantage of. The worst are those who are taken advantage of and then get angry but refuse to tell the bastar* off. Which obviously includes me..
Or maybe i am already very nasty to some people, just that i haven realised it and they obviously should not be reading this blog if they are pissed off with me.
I want to live on an island. Without people. It is easier to know that your friends are alive somewhere, but not contactable; than they are always contactable but no one actually contacts you or vice versa.
Developing a certain weird attitude nowadays.. If i am not getting the attention i want, e.g. in a conversation, the other person seems distracted or something, i simply say i'm bored and i don't wish to talk to that person anymore. Cos i feel that i'm being neglected and unappreciated so i don't see the point of prolonging the agony for both of us.
I think the same apply for all my human to human relationship.
I am too lazy to hover around, wait for you to turn back and realise that i'm there.
I'm starting to hate the idea of having friends.. Seems more like liability than anything. dislike the idea of thinking of what to say, dislike the hassle of thinking of places to go, squeezing time to meet up, sacrificing someone for the sake of another, misunderstandings arising, irritating people who can only come out when partner is not available...
I'm a walking negative right now, right here. (or rather lying negative, since i'm on my stomach in bed..) I want to go into seclusion. To do my own things.
Doubt i'll go on msn anytime soon after this post..
Friends who are reading this: I wont be contactable on msn for a few weeks until exams over... Need me give me a call or email me.. Replied guaranteed.
Enemies who are reading this: ...can't think of anything to say to yous.
Gd night people. Back into my shell.
Back to myself.. Back to me...
I want to be nasty.. Real nasty and selfish, so that i don't care how people react when i say certain things. To get things done the way i want it. To refuse to do things that i do not want to do. I don't wanna be a 'push-over'. I want to learn how to say no..
I hate being nice. Hate people who are nice and are being taken advantage of. The worst are those who are taken advantage of and then get angry but refuse to tell the bastar* off. Which obviously includes me..
Or maybe i am already very nasty to some people, just that i haven realised it and they obviously should not be reading this blog if they are pissed off with me.
I want to live on an island. Without people. It is easier to know that your friends are alive somewhere, but not contactable; than they are always contactable but no one actually contacts you or vice versa.
Developing a certain weird attitude nowadays.. If i am not getting the attention i want, e.g. in a conversation, the other person seems distracted or something, i simply say i'm bored and i don't wish to talk to that person anymore. Cos i feel that i'm being neglected and unappreciated so i don't see the point of prolonging the agony for both of us.
I think the same apply for all my human to human relationship.
I am too lazy to hover around, wait for you to turn back and realise that i'm there.
I'm starting to hate the idea of having friends.. Seems more like liability than anything. dislike the idea of thinking of what to say, dislike the hassle of thinking of places to go, squeezing time to meet up, sacrificing someone for the sake of another, misunderstandings arising, irritating people who can only come out when partner is not available...
I'm a walking negative right now, right here. (or rather lying negative, since i'm on my stomach in bed..) I want to go into seclusion. To do my own things.
Doubt i'll go on msn anytime soon after this post..
Friends who are reading this: I wont be contactable on msn for a few weeks until exams over... Need me give me a call or email me.. Replied guaranteed.
Enemies who are reading this: ...can't think of anything to say to yous.
Gd night people. Back into my shell.
Back to myself.. Back to me...
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