Fatalistic or pessimistic? Maybe. But also realistic. Otherwise you take on too much, you bring it upon yourself and eventually collapse under the weight of these baggages.
I am still capable of being/feeling happy. I laugh at jokes too.
I am just more aware that life can change in a split second. Lives can perish and things change irreversibly. The awareness made me less caught up with other pples, words or POV that are not priority in my life/hierachy of importance.