The day wasn't exactly smooth. Plus I can foresee a difficult period ahead for the next few months.

It is so easy to walk away from the situation, to find my ticket out of difficulties. Yet this time, I want to see myself through this. Perhaps the factors to determine whether I go and stay still lean on the staying side, or perhaps I have so much other commitments that I have to stay.

As someone recently told me, if I had to leave each time times get tough in office, I probably cannot stay at any job for long..

Let's take realistic baby steps in every thing we do this 2011!

从来就不认为钻牛角尖是一种美德，特别是都市人。太过敏感或感情用事都是种累赘。

可能又是时候坐下自我检讨了。

温

I need and enjoy my "Me Time".
A little bit of quality time to myself. Nothing much, nothing too deep, just some time to enjoy my music without people.

My down time.

Seems like the down time is longer lately, I wonder if it is dependent on the weather/time of the year. Perhaps my ability to process information is so slow now that I need time by myself to digest what has taken place in the morning.

:S

This December, have you taken some time to think about 2010 and how it mattered to you?

Sitting here on a Sunday morning with my coffee - faced with the last week of 2010.

Well, if i were to evaluate my life according to the $ in my bank account, how far I have progressed in my work, whether I have taken another step to set up my own family, I guess I should be disappointed with myself.

But personally, I do not subscribe to those benchmarks, although they do affect me sometimes. There is also nothing wrong with evaluating oneself with those benchmarks, since they are the most quantitative ones that allow people to compare themselves across industry. However, my evaluation stems from assessment of myself, how I have progress as a person, how I have expand my horizon, how I have fared in my different positions in life instead of an assessment to compare, I choose to assess myself to gain awareness, insight to the person that I am or am becoming. This may not be everyone's objective, so the difference in benchmark.

Looking back at 2010, like all other years, it has its good and bad. In terms of work, I think I have progressed at a slower rate than last year, definitely. I sometimes worry at how I may become too comfortable with my current job that I will lose my "marketability" in the future. But I realised that is a question that only I can answer, my choice of what is it I want in life.

Family wise, at this year end, I am proud to tell myself, I have tried hard enough at my family relations. I am so glad for my little niece, who brightens up my day just by being her. I am so grateful for my sisters, who are so perfect in their own little ways. I think I really have to work harder with my parents, to allow them to work lesser, enjoy their days more :)

I haven't been a very good friend to many people and I hope that I have been ok for some. I need to judge less and be more open minded - been trying to tell myself this for the longest time. But sometimes, it is just too much work to maintain some friendship. Perhaps that's why most of my friends have a certain characteristic across the board. LOL!

As for relationship wise, I think I have made some progressed in terms of my mindset about a relationship. I probably need work harder on it and more learning has to be done for this aspect of my life.

All in all, I am contented with 2010. I traveled to Taiwan, Australia, Malaysia (KL, Langkawi, Ipoh, Kota Kinabalu), Philippines. Represented the Uni as Negotiation Coach in Australia, climbed KK, personal best in my 10km run, finished my first 21km, have my first business venture, drove myself and family to places, organised my first family gathering for mommy's birthday.

This Christmas, I am contented and at peace with myself.

Wishing any one reading this to be able to find peace with yourself and a great 2011 ahead.

Love,
WR

Olivia Ong : You and Me

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
There's some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Holding her close he leading the way
Out at the park Enjoying the Day
And you can tell they'll be ok
Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me
You and me

Olivia Ong 我願意

梦一场 - Olivia Ong

Just came back from Langkawi. Didnt realise I took such a beautiful picture until I was transferring these photographs to the desktop.

Somehow, some things simply cannot be explained.

Good night! It is going to be a long day tomorrow!!

Amazing song, great movie ;) Makes you want to be part of greatness!! Awesomeness!!!

Enjoy!

He is damn freaking good! Only heard one of his songs in the past, how much have I missed :)

Enjoy!

Came home in time to see the sunset today!!

Beautiful sunset :) How long has it been since you slow down and take some time to savour a peaceful and beautiful moment like this. Wish anyone who is reading this to have some time to yourself everyday, no matter where you are and what you be doing :)

Cheers!

">









I'm going to sing Karaoke with my friends tomorrow!! So eggcited that I was going through all the OLD school songs that I used to sing. Listening to all these songs and reminiscing the emotions that used to engulf me when I sang them in the past.

Wow.

It has been a while haven't it?

:)

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Magic Power - 我是谁 我是谁 我是谁

作词：廷廷 (Magic Power)
作曲：廷廷 (Magic Power)



我是谁 你是否常常这样问自己
我是谁 总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁 是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁 只有不是自己才安全

为什麽 你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽 你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽 这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽 到底做错了什麽

朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

会不会 上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会 是故意整你不是不小心
会不会 你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会 坚持要做自己太危险

凭什麽 难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽 先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽 只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽 随便就把人定罪

朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我知道自己是最美丽的
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽

happiness

Try to simplify everything and see them fall into place :)

I've moved firm. After much thoughts and various conversations with some of the more impt people in my life, some of whom supported the decision, some of whom opposed and there were those who left the decision very much to me, I have moved to a much larger firm. Telling myself that if I had to work hard at something which I dislike, I might as well work for more money.

After two months here, I will say that things are not necessarily better. At the risk of sounding like a contradicting spoilt brat of the generation Y, there is too much free time. Part of the reason is because I was not trained in this area of work in my first year, hence I am pretty much picking up things along the way and therefore the slower pace. That aside, there is a very clear line drawn between the associates and the staffs. No doubt the scene is cordial, but at the same time, there is some distance between the two groups. And most importantly, there is tension between different teams due to the overflowing work load.

I have been questioning my choice for a while after I have started, asking myself whether I have made the wrong decision? Would this be a dead end for me, to be stuck doing conveyancing for the rest of my career, being the bottom scrapper as they have stereotyped the conveyancing lawyers to me. Will I end up not learning or doing as much as my peers in the future as my ex-boss told me?

Frankly, until now I do not have the answers to these questions. However, I know that I have requested to be specialised, to learn the foundation, to learn how to be patient. Being anxious about doing something "big", "important" isn't going to help at this moment.

I just have to remind myself of the goals at the end, what I want to do, what I would like to move on to, etc. Although the goals or what I wanna do might change as time goes by, I have to keep the big picture in mind. Be focus at my current position, make it comfortable and wait for opportunities to come knocking on my door...

Moreover, I am pretty happy with my current life. Good balance between work and life. A little idealistic I know, but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

That's that for my career or rather my job..

Till next time :)

Seems like everyone in the firm is thinking about quitting. I wonder if it is because of the firm, or the people or both?

I suppose different people are unhappy with different things, different people are able to take different level of stress. Some people have tolerated things longer than others, some leaving with an option, some leaving without any other job security...

There probably isn't an explanation for all these, and the answer to my problems probably isn't here either. But I am beginning to call the question my philosophy/principles at work. I am beginning to wonder is being hardworking all that is necessary. I'm even questioning whether I should be doing what I am.

I am constantly telling myself that I am learning, I should try to learn as much as possible, do as much as possible. But things have been backfiring on me. Be it my own carelessness or anybody else's. I am seriously questioning whether I belong to a firm of this size to begin with. I am beginning to question my basic capabilities to connect to people, to liaise with people, to do simple administrative work. I am starting to ask what is it actually I want to do?

Am I trying to escape my problems at work? I am not sure. Would I be happier working elsewhere or doing something else? Seriously, I have no idea. I could probably have caught the "I'm whining about nothing" syndrome.

Is it so soon that I have to re-assess my choices? Or should I wait it out further?
Can I wait it out further? Would it be considered giving up?

sigh.

mental note to self: when some one tells you that "You won't understand", more likely than not, you will not understand his/her situation completely. So just accept it graciously and acknowledge the fact that you are not all knowing/knowledgeable and listen to what the other party has to say.

I know that I have always made this mistake when some one wishes to talk about their difficulties with me. I think I am the sort who jumps to conclusion to quickly: You are too emotional, you are too indecisive, you do not know what to do with your life, etc etc. But isn't that usually how pple feel when they are lost in the first place. Even if they knew they are indecisive or emotional, what good will it do to point it out to them at that time?

Especially towards people who find it difficult to share their feelings in the first place, my "know it all" tone/attitude will actually scare them back into their shell, comfort zone, pretending everything is okie.

It doesn't help that I like to share my experience. To me, sharing about a similar experience that I have gone through, lets that person know that I am on his/her side. That I know how it feels like. However, to most of the people, they don't want to hear about me and my stories. They are there to share their stories, their experience, their dilemma. My sharing becomes "stealing of the lime light" or some sort. Those who are better friends retreat into their listening friend mode while those are less understanding think I am an arrogant and selfish basta*d (which is probably true to some extent).

Tonight is not that night that I feel ashamed of myself. I have come to realise something about myself that is not entirely good for myself (if I wanna keep my friends) or my closed ones. I would like to do better :) I would like to be a better person, if not in other aspects, the least I can do is be a more approachable friend.

Of course there will definitely be times when I continue be a self absorbed as*, but probably to those whom I cannot be bothered to find it within me to be the bigger person :)

Ahhh.. The power of self-awareness and autonomy :)

the morning of father's day (actually the afternoon, cos i woke up pretty late), my Dad peeled mangosteen for me :) I came out of the shower, and he simply told me to sit down at the dining table while he peeled the purple fruit for me :) :) :)

Having heard how people around me have less than perfect relationship with their fathers, I am really grateful, on this day, for my daddy :) He has his flaws, definitely, but he dotes on me undoubtedly.

I guess I am really glad that I didn't sneak out yesterday and cause every one to worry :) It will probably be something that I feel bad for for a good long while, but it is better than having to regret for the rest of my life if something had happened.

I know I have to be resting, to stay at home and sit around, take my meds. But I am only asking to attend half of my good friend's wedding dinner tonight, is that too much? I won't be eating any thing, I won't be moving around unnecessarily. I will take care of myself when I'm there.

ARGH. I am so frustrated. It is not as if I want to go out to have fun and neglecting my body. I really want to be there to witness my friend's wedding. How can all of you just shut me up like that? Forcing me to stay at home?

Now all I can do is sit at home and blog about it. It has been a long long while since I have to ask pple for permission to go out. and the rejection is utmost annoying.