Stupid NUS Law server down when i wake up at 4 am to do my assignment...
Life isn't very kind eh?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
So sick of being the mediator at home, why do i have to know everything when they don't like to tell each other? Maybe i shldn't be such a busybody at home, just keep to myself, don't ask them about their lives, rush off for work as fast as i can, come home real tired...
I'm not blaming them for doing what they are suppose to do.. but why has they become so absorbed by their own lives, that when they think they're being considerate, they're actually causing much more misunderstanding? They are all very generous, friendly and nice people individually. Why do they have to impose their idea of being considerate on others, such that it becomes more of a burden to each other?
She tries to bring her dad to doctor's appointment all the time because she doesn't want the rest of them to take off from their work. Being a tuition teacher, she doesn't want to burden the rest, hence she changes her schedule as and when to suit the appointments. Also, she is like the mother in the household, she cooks and clean and does all the household chores. Although she doesn't ask for anything back from her siblings, her efforts are almost always seen as "she took it up herself, she will redo it if we help anyway". A person who like to do things her way, her siblings know better than to help which she continues to pack herself with more work. The only problem is that, there is only so much that a person can do, and with all that stress she packed herself with, how does one expect her to smile all the time? Not to mention that she is a serious person by nature.
He has got a 9 to 5 job, as the eldest son in the family, he tries his best to be aware of what is going on. He tried catering to everyone's needs. He is stressed out himself, he is tired of accomodating everyone else. With most of his sisters married, he has to be the balancing force between his sick dad, his tempremental elder sister and his quiet younger brother. To add to this, he has a dreamy girlfriend who believe in living her life to the max while she is young. His sister cannot appreciate his gf as well as him, he doesn't feel the need to address that. As the 'mother' of the household, she cannot understand how can a lady, whom come to her bf house to play computer games and playstation, who always asks his bf to go restaurants and genting be ready to settle down, when she herself doesn't earn much.
His girlfriend thinks that his sister has something against her always, he thinks that one day things will sort themselves out. That everytime, when his sister has a 'black' face, it is because of her.
I say this is a perfect recipe for disaster.
To him:
You've told me before that once u put her into the position, she'll be forced to grow up. So when is she being put into the position? when you guys get married? or is it good enough now that things are more or less settled? I'm not trying to be nosy here, i noe very well that this is non of my business. But i don't want to sit here and watch the disaster unfold itself if i can help it. If today it is some other family showing this, i'll watch it like a drama series. I cannot let this happen to you guys. So just try to hear me out here.
I know it is difficult to come home and face her, you've also told me before. When met with difficulties, the easiest way is to run away from it. There is no way you can run from it, unless you want the problems between ur sister and you to pile up. I guess being the younger one, we have to always take the first step to make the communication. If you think that "she has made herself clear, she is so stubborn she wont change", den i can safely tell u that you are only waiting for disaster to happen.
Her "anal-ness" stems from the fact that she loves u too much and has been taking such good care of you that she don't know if your gf can do the same. She has an image of you in her head, one who shld be taken good care off, that you like to laze around the house, etc. She cannot imagine u, after u come back from work at about 8 plus, to be doing the housework. It is pressurizing to be loved like that, but can u blame her?
The pressure is there because there isn't any communication, there isn't any understanding. Since you have chosen yr gf, and she has chosen you, shldn't you guys try to get your sister's understanding? After all, she is the one who has taken care of you for so long, whether you asked her to do so or not. Frankly, if i can help you tell her that how you guys can work out, i'll be glad to help. But there is only so much i can do. I know it is frustrating to handle both of them, now it is already so evident, what do you think will happen in the future? You also told me before, you make the decisions, you face the consequences. This is one consequence that you have to face. Either you work hard at salvaging the relationship between them, or you lose this sister of yours eventually.
Stayin out wont save you. Your hopes that things will take of themselves will never happen. If all of you cannot let down ur walls, the pretence that things are always fine and beautiful, that you guys are independant individuals - i guess there isn't much me as an outsider can do, not to mention i'm merely a niece...
I'm not blaming them for doing what they are suppose to do.. but why has they become so absorbed by their own lives, that when they think they're being considerate, they're actually causing much more misunderstanding? They are all very generous, friendly and nice people individually. Why do they have to impose their idea of being considerate on others, such that it becomes more of a burden to each other?
She tries to bring her dad to doctor's appointment all the time because she doesn't want the rest of them to take off from their work. Being a tuition teacher, she doesn't want to burden the rest, hence she changes her schedule as and when to suit the appointments. Also, she is like the mother in the household, she cooks and clean and does all the household chores. Although she doesn't ask for anything back from her siblings, her efforts are almost always seen as "she took it up herself, she will redo it if we help anyway". A person who like to do things her way, her siblings know better than to help which she continues to pack herself with more work. The only problem is that, there is only so much that a person can do, and with all that stress she packed herself with, how does one expect her to smile all the time? Not to mention that she is a serious person by nature.
He has got a 9 to 5 job, as the eldest son in the family, he tries his best to be aware of what is going on. He tried catering to everyone's needs. He is stressed out himself, he is tired of accomodating everyone else. With most of his sisters married, he has to be the balancing force between his sick dad, his tempremental elder sister and his quiet younger brother. To add to this, he has a dreamy girlfriend who believe in living her life to the max while she is young. His sister cannot appreciate his gf as well as him, he doesn't feel the need to address that. As the 'mother' of the household, she cannot understand how can a lady, whom come to her bf house to play computer games and playstation, who always asks his bf to go restaurants and genting be ready to settle down, when she herself doesn't earn much.
His girlfriend thinks that his sister has something against her always, he thinks that one day things will sort themselves out. That everytime, when his sister has a 'black' face, it is because of her.
I say this is a perfect recipe for disaster.
To him:
You've told me before that once u put her into the position, she'll be forced to grow up. So when is she being put into the position? when you guys get married? or is it good enough now that things are more or less settled? I'm not trying to be nosy here, i noe very well that this is non of my business. But i don't want to sit here and watch the disaster unfold itself if i can help it. If today it is some other family showing this, i'll watch it like a drama series. I cannot let this happen to you guys. So just try to hear me out here.
I know it is difficult to come home and face her, you've also told me before. When met with difficulties, the easiest way is to run away from it. There is no way you can run from it, unless you want the problems between ur sister and you to pile up. I guess being the younger one, we have to always take the first step to make the communication. If you think that "she has made herself clear, she is so stubborn she wont change", den i can safely tell u that you are only waiting for disaster to happen.
Her "anal-ness" stems from the fact that she loves u too much and has been taking such good care of you that she don't know if your gf can do the same. She has an image of you in her head, one who shld be taken good care off, that you like to laze around the house, etc. She cannot imagine u, after u come back from work at about 8 plus, to be doing the housework. It is pressurizing to be loved like that, but can u blame her?
The pressure is there because there isn't any communication, there isn't any understanding. Since you have chosen yr gf, and she has chosen you, shldn't you guys try to get your sister's understanding? After all, she is the one who has taken care of you for so long, whether you asked her to do so or not. Frankly, if i can help you tell her that how you guys can work out, i'll be glad to help. But there is only so much i can do. I know it is frustrating to handle both of them, now it is already so evident, what do you think will happen in the future? You also told me before, you make the decisions, you face the consequences. This is one consequence that you have to face. Either you work hard at salvaging the relationship between them, or you lose this sister of yours eventually.
Stayin out wont save you. Your hopes that things will take of themselves will never happen. If all of you cannot let down ur walls, the pretence that things are always fine and beautiful, that you guys are independant individuals - i guess there isn't much me as an outsider can do, not to mention i'm merely a niece...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hahah suppose to do my property law assignment now.
Went joggin, played game and eat breakfast.. Finally settled down and i feel sleepy
hahaha
this is life man.. this is a pig's life :D
super slack..
Totally not nervous about my company law paper nex week
I AM SO DEAD!!!!
LOL
I need to type out my tutorials.
joggin helps
alot
HEEEEEee
i wanna learn dancing, anyone has lobang?
Went joggin, played game and eat breakfast.. Finally settled down and i feel sleepy
hahaha
this is life man.. this is a pig's life :D
super slack..
Totally not nervous about my company law paper nex week
I AM SO DEAD!!!!
LOL
I need to type out my tutorials.
joggin helps
alot
HEEEEEee
i wanna learn dancing, anyone has lobang?
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
-Putting things behind me, as i step into a new chapter in my life.
Let this holiday be a time where i start to realise the important things in my life.
Let me remember my priorities, and the principles that gives a framework to my choices in life.
Let me walk on the path that i ought to, instead of treading dangerously into the unknown.
Let my choices reflect that of a thinking individual, that of a conscious one and that of a sensible one.
Let me be able to then, bear the responsibilities of my choices.-
Let this holiday be a time where i start to realise the important things in my life.
Let me remember my priorities, and the principles that gives a framework to my choices in life.
Let me walk on the path that i ought to, instead of treading dangerously into the unknown.
Let my choices reflect that of a thinking individual, that of a conscious one and that of a sensible one.
Let me be able to then, bear the responsibilities of my choices.-
I had a messed up weekend. Trying to clean up my act right now. I nearly lost a friend back there.. I hope i had done all i can to try to put things right again. I doubt things will be the same again, I'm apologetic for the error in judgments, but the harm is done.
I wanted to justify my position, my actions. But i guess at the end of the day, we all have our own positions to take care of. At the end of the day, what is important is that I admit that i made a bad call, but at the point of time, given my position, knowledge and conditions of the situation, i would have made the same decisions then and there. At this juncture, i just want to make sure that i understand the impact and address it, instead of saying "I had to do what i did". which of cos cannot help. I'm glad i had a chance to be frank and talk things out. I think if it happened to me, i wont be as cool. It was enough to send me hating the person.
Well, i pretty much screw things up the way i din want it to be. What irony.. Every single thing that was not to be done, was.
It was simply a crazy week for me. I'm glad it is over. Still some loose ends for me to tie up but i think those are fine.
For those who have been reading my blog and were concerned for me, i'm fine. ;)
To those whom i've caused some trauma towards, i'm sincerely sorry. I dun think there's another better way of saying this.
Hopefully i've gotten something out of this. I mean as of every past experiences, i shld have learnt something but i always choose to disregard them.
Clearly i have some things to take care of now, they are obviously not in the category of 'looking for trouble for myself'. Stay off the liquor, it is starting to cloud my mind.
Think coffee will be my best fren for sometime now, can't seem to stay awake for more than two hours without it. Unhealthy yes, but staying awake seems to be more important.
"Brave it out these 8 years, you'll find ur life is more or less set by then." I've gotta do things that i ought to do...
"Whatever it is, just be honest with me." Very simple rule, very basic in a friendship, i haven been able to keep to it.
Decorating your words, beautifying things, making things look alright when they're not only shows how much you trust ur fren.
I can say,
i dunnoe if i can do them anymore.
I'm beginning to scare myself.
hahaha
I wanted to justify my position, my actions. But i guess at the end of the day, we all have our own positions to take care of. At the end of the day, what is important is that I admit that i made a bad call, but at the point of time, given my position, knowledge and conditions of the situation, i would have made the same decisions then and there. At this juncture, i just want to make sure that i understand the impact and address it, instead of saying "I had to do what i did". which of cos cannot help. I'm glad i had a chance to be frank and talk things out. I think if it happened to me, i wont be as cool. It was enough to send me hating the person.
Well, i pretty much screw things up the way i din want it to be. What irony.. Every single thing that was not to be done, was.
It was simply a crazy week for me. I'm glad it is over. Still some loose ends for me to tie up but i think those are fine.
For those who have been reading my blog and were concerned for me, i'm fine. ;)
To those whom i've caused some trauma towards, i'm sincerely sorry. I dun think there's another better way of saying this.
Hopefully i've gotten something out of this. I mean as of every past experiences, i shld have learnt something but i always choose to disregard them.
Clearly i have some things to take care of now, they are obviously not in the category of 'looking for trouble for myself'. Stay off the liquor, it is starting to cloud my mind.
Think coffee will be my best fren for sometime now, can't seem to stay awake for more than two hours without it. Unhealthy yes, but staying awake seems to be more important.
"Brave it out these 8 years, you'll find ur life is more or less set by then." I've gotta do things that i ought to do...
"Whatever it is, just be honest with me." Very simple rule, very basic in a friendship, i haven been able to keep to it.
Decorating your words, beautifying things, making things look alright when they're not only shows how much you trust ur fren.
I can say,
i dunnoe if i can do them anymore.
I'm beginning to scare myself.
hahaha
Monday, September 19, 2005
Just did my preparation for tutorial.. still refuse to do my prop law take home assignment, maybe later :)
Sometimes i find myself working so hard at things that are not worth the time, and really slacking with things that need my attention. hahaha opportunity cost. Some times some friends are worth investing the time one, some are not. I don't know if i'm making the distinction right. I don't wanna end up just by myself again...
Well, on a second thought, it isn't so bad being alone i guess.
:D
I'm hungry.. I need food. I think i need to exercise too.
hahahaha
HGIS
Sometimes i find myself working so hard at things that are not worth the time, and really slacking with things that need my attention. hahaha opportunity cost. Some times some friends are worth investing the time one, some are not. I don't know if i'm making the distinction right. I don't wanna end up just by myself again...
Well, on a second thought, it isn't so bad being alone i guess.
:D
I'm hungry.. I need food. I think i need to exercise too.
hahahaha
HGIS
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