my effort for the yj alumni, for the yj forum, my wish to become a teacher, my hope for the education system, my dream to volunteer, my change in character, the change in way of communication..
it's scary, the resemblence.
i try very hard to dismiss it.
I noe i'm this far away from the required chrisma because i've yet to derived the desired results from the effort i've put in.
It's disheartening to look at the result of the poll, the confidence level of the alumni, the response from the alumni. when your enthusiasm is met with a bucket of cold water..
at the back of my head, my fear has always been that some people might bring up the past, the history. That people may and perhaps will always view my enthusiasm with suspicion, that there is some motive behind it.. maybe i am afraid he think so. Mayb i'm afraid that i have to face something that i know i wish will never have to, but back of my mind know that it is inevitable..
i'm frustrated.
now is not the time to be.
i've got bigger things to worry about, like my future, like a typical NUS undergrad, i've got my exams to worry about.
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