Me. Myself & i

'感觉' 消失后，取而代之的，是经过时间，慢慢建立起来的 '感情'...

Had a lot of afterthoughts after reading the article, promised myself that i'll write an entry about it when I am done with my take home assignments. And here I am..
Pardon me if you find the following entry a little messy, I'm just writing as I go through the article once again..

There isn't a second chance to live your life, therefore you take every step with much care and consideration. This is why life is precious, this is why decisions you make at every junction u come to in life are heavily weighted and considered. The author then questioned, what if relationship is the same? What if you can only love once in your life and there is no turning back, no starting over? Would you still find yourself falling in and out of love so easily?

He has pointed out rightly, that the average age of those getting hitch is decreasing, even primary school students are getting attached. This, in his perspective, is a worrying trend, considering the lack of maturity and independence. How much do they know about relationships, what it means to be together with somebody? The rate of breaking up has therefore, increased tremendously...

However, to me, at different stages of your life, u are involved in a relationships to a different degree. Therefore, a person goes through a number of relationships before finally settling down. There is an introductory stage whereby you are less involved. Even if you were contemplating a future with this person, the success rate of which is small because you have yet to find out what are you looking for in life, in a partner. By success rate, i mean to be able to stay together with that person, and get a HDB flat later in life.
After the introductory stage, a person is more or less able to discern what he wants in life and in a spouse. There in comes the intermediary stage, whereby you look out for someone whom u seriously want to spend your life with. But at this stage, things might still not work out, because of different daily habits when living together, postings overseas etc. You are knowing more and more people as you settle into your career. External factors which you cannot help will affect the relationships.
Then the last stage, where you are pretty settled on what you want and have settled into your career. Things are more in control, you have better big picture, grand scheme of life. You then think about being together with someone really seriously and will be willing to give in when you can, etc.
Hence, i maintain that a person has to go through the baptism of the first two stages, to really appreciate relationship for what it is, his spouse for who she is.

A relationship, at the end of the day, involves two people. As I've mentioned before, eyons ago, anything that has to involve more than one person, only complicate things. Same applies. The complexity of relationships is attributed by the very fact that there are two people in it. Two people with emotions involve only escalate the degree of complexity. There needs to be a certain compatibility between the two in order to make things work. Compatibility as to the thinking, principles, outlook in life, views regarding relationship.
The author asked, why can't people consider relationships carefully before making the decision, and give everything he has after making that decision?
Because when he wanted to give everything, she was not serious. Because when she wanted to love him with all she had, he merely wanted a companion. Many people have experienced such pain because they met the wrong people at the wrong time. There was incompatibility of views towards relationship, and they were hurt. So badly that they told themselves, the next time they will protect themselves. There's no giving everything, because at the end of it all, they'll only be hurt. Hence the hurt passes on.

Can one person curb the cycle? Can one person change the whole playing field?

人终究是感情的动物，感觉会在最不可思议的时候出现．．．
Feelings for new people you meet will definitely come about. The difference lies in how you manage it when you are already with somebody. Some people see it as a challenge to the strength of the relationship, while others simply falter at inducement of excitement and adrenaline.

对，爱是可以重来
但是，对一个人的爱，对一个人的感情，对一个人的记忆，一旦错过了，就再也不能重来了．
Whatever that you had with this special person that you have set ur sight on, can never be replaced by another person.
Love can happen again and again.
The love between you and that person, wont ever happen again.

Therefore, even though one person can have many relationships in his life time, at the end of the day, each relationship is precious. Keeping that in mind, one will be more careful about wanting to end the relationship.