Me. Myself & i

No idea how to start on my assignment. The outline is there, just can't seemed to sit myself down and type it out. I guess i'm having a writer's block, and i probably can blog it off.. Lack of inspiration to blog, even..

Everything happens for a reason. Any incident, any experience, any person that you come across in your life, You can learn something out of any of these, good or bad. Everyday, i look at the things occurring around me, and i just see this theme recurring. You might not realize it right now, but some time later, when something of the same vein occur, you'll see the light.

Some friends have been asking me if I'm fine after reading my blog. All I say is 'what is wrong?' I'm not trying to sound casual, to pretend nothing is happening in my life or act all mysterious about my life. Perhaps certain entries can seem a little emo, but I'm still handling it. I do have my fair share of being at a loss, but I make it a point to walk myself out of it. I may seem to be troubled by many things, but I know when to let go of certain things.
Basically, I really actually have nothing to complain about in my life. My family, albeit big and complex, is generally loving. My friends, vast and diverse, i have a few whom i hold really dear to my heart. My love, undefined, but i have my emotional support here and there. I am really very grateful to each and everyone that has been, is in my life. Really thankful that our paths crossed and eventually if we take on different routes, the memories live on.

The cynism, skeptism is slowly melting away. The anger of losing something that was dear is slowly fizzling out. She told me that it'll take another man's whole hearted love to heal me but i beg to differ. To be able to understand and accept that it happened, that somethings are just not within your control, to understand how things work in life, is the path to recovery. And of cos, much reassurance that ultimately, i'll find the one. It might sound cliche if it came from any other person, but when it came from someone who has been there, done that. From being young and innocent, to really loved and gotten hurt, then playing the field and later, found the right person, he has seen it all. Having had the same doubts that I have now, he has found the answers that I probably need to spend the next few years searching for. The meaning of having a relationship, the objectives of a marriage, the importance of having someone share your success with.

To sit me down, listen to my stories and then walk me through certain things that happened, it is really not easy. Because firstly, there aren't many whom i'll take sermons from. And secondly, it is really time consuming for something that you probably yield nothing 'cept perhaps the satisfaction of guiding a lost sheep. He is a much needed iron hand right now in my life, enough space for me to learn the ropes on my own yet the warnings come early enough for me to back off from the cliff. I can only say: xie la =)

I know when i find my place in life in the later stages, this period will really play a big part in what becomes of me. My outlook, principles all taking shape right now. Make it, or break it.

WR