Me. Myself & i

路人甲
没事的路人，静悄悄地与你差身而过。。。
This is me, a passerby to most of the people in my life. Going in and out of their lives, for a short while. I can't explain it either... Mayb to them, i'm not the kind of friend for life. Looking back, at different period of my life, a different group of people there in my memories. There doesn't seem to be any similarities, except that I know at some point in time, they'll disappear from my life. There don't need to be any life changing events, not even a quarrel... They slowly 消声匿迹，慢慢的不见了。也没有刻意的闭门不见，就这样，失去联络。
probably it is a problem of mine, ever since i have memories, i knew friends are not forever. As much as I wish to have friends who know every dirty little secret in your life, whom my family members can recognise, who saw me through all the milestones in my life.. But i've always told myself that friends will come and go.. At the end of the day, no one has the obligation to be there for you. Or probably i'm just pre-empting myself from any hurt that might occur in the event something happens. After time, the character was formed.. I moved from group to group, at different times in my life...

Well, i guess such a situation has its pros and cons.. 虽然有时会寂寞，但知道自己够潇洒，放得下。并不是没有付出过，但常常提醒自己不是付出就有回报的。当关系太复杂时，大家渐渐把你的付出当成一种理所当然时，我就会慢慢的退后。。。 总觉得朋友们在一起，不希望有太多复杂的情绪。。人与人之间的复杂交际不应存在与朋友们之间，会很累的。。。
i guess that's why 我一向不会干涉朋友们的私事，要做什么，怎么做，我不想左右。牵涉太多，多管闲事，扰人扰己。and I condone the 'morally wrong' acts that people won't allow their friends to do... That others will usually talk their friends out of.. All i do is to say "this is your choice, you know fully well the consequences and u've gotta bear them in the event they materialised." Definitely not 'correct', not the kind of caring friend that people are looking out for..
But in life there are so many things that aren't black or white.. So many grey areas... What is 'right' is what most people think ought to be done...

My attitude, to most people i guess, is too indifferent, too cold to be considered someone to confine in.. And that's probably why i don't have many female friends.. Because they need someone to feel for them, sometimes even to whine with them.. To tell them that what they are doing is what i'd have done, to tell them that i understand.. But the truth is, I've been through it, and still going through it. Truth is i wish to tell them that U've gotta take care and take charge of your own emotional well being. Truth is you are only as damaged as you see yourself to be. Truth is you can do very well even by yourself, that no one is indispensible in your life. You simply move on.

Don't be mistaken, this isn't exactly an emo entry, not even one to complain about my current well-being. Being alone isn't a bad thing, it allows u to learn the most, to see more than ever. As your friends drift in and out of relationships, you see them come in and out of your life. As their lives take drastic changes, they walk in and out of your life. At that certain point in their lives, I have been there, i played a part or try to do my part to put them back on their feet. After that certain point, 不拖不欠, i don't expect them to be there for me... Or at least i try not to :D

到最后，谁不希望有一群和你走过大半辈子的好朋友？但又有几个人如此幸运？一切随缘，一切知足。