Me. Myself & i

Random gibberish after exams

jus had a little discussion with a fren over my emails to the yj alumni group - according to him, it looked like a desperate shout out for help.
On my part, i feel that i've done all i can, within my power and limit to help the alumni. Thou it is jus mass emailing the people, i dun think an alumni member ought to be running ard de school trying to put things together, should i? Not to mention i'm not too welcome in school nowadays.
Just the other day when i went back, i was stopped by the security guard (door bitch) and i had to specify who i was visiting in the school before i was allow to even fill up the form for a temp pass (sticker). i highly doubt it is done for the security of the students, when you can call the student out to the front gate if you really needed to talk to the student. I was wondering to myself, does it mean i can only see the teacher whose name i've wrote? and If i wanted to see other teachers, do i have to list all of them down? Now if i wasn't in the office but in the canteen talking to the stall holders, will i get boot out of the school?
Perhaps all that are jus angry thoughts. As an alumni, I felt excluded. All the talk about needing the cooperation, the resources of the alumni is merely a nicer way of telling us, 'hey we need some donations from the alumni'. The graduated students mean nothing to the school except as cashcows to be made used of. it was a clear msg - you guys are jus to provide your services and help, you are not to come and go as and when you like. i feel so welcomed by the school. So much for trying to change the image of the school.

As for the mailing list, i've received two very nice replies from two very senior seniors, who graduated donkey years ago. Two very encouraging emails that volunteered their service to put together a gathering somewhere in june or july. I'm not afraid to admit that i'm on the verge of quiting this whole alumni thing. I guess unless i'm taking home a fat income of $10,000 a month as a well-known lawyer, my words might never carry weight in that place. And it is a very discouraging thought, discouraging but real. No doubt cruel but at the end of the day, it is how the world works. We can disagree with it, but forced to comply with it.

i'm suffering from an illness known widely as 'growing up'. Manifestation of a more fatal disease called 'life'.

cheers