Me. Myself & i

Woke up bright and early today to study (Sunday eh!), but 3 pages into my CLT text, half my mind is thinking about maple story... So i thought i'll blog instead of starting the game, in case i cannot end it later ;p

Well there isn't much to blog about, have been studying the whole week. Din quarrel with paul, usually no one at home, din even read the papers... Think my life is pretty dead right now. Cannot stop thinking about what i want to do when my papers are over...

I just read about Andy lau yesterday on a two week old magazine. Talks about how he work 365 days a year, given his status and wealth, he can easily take things slowly, become more arrogant, etc. Instead of having more and more silly news like who might he be dating, changing gf every week, he has always appeared 'clean' and well taken care of by the reporters. The report mentioned his 25 years of hard work on the silver screen. What struck me is this paragraph.
When we were in school, we always admire the student who manages to do well without studying but simply smarter than the rest. However, we always neglect the ones who really work for their good results. This is human nature, we like reap what we are lazy to sow. We want to get things without working for it.

This is a perfect description of me.
Everyone wishes to think that he is the smart one, who only have to do a little last minute revision before the exam and can pass with flying colours. I'm one such example, ever since secondary school. I remember the days i spent sleeping in classes, failing all my tests, going to fast food restaurants after school. Come sec 4, mugging near the prelims to pass my maths and sciences. Picking and choosing chapters to study for humanities.
Fortunately, i scrapped through my prelims, ended up in YJ.
Come O'lvls, my results were far worse than what my friends. I couldn't complain.
It was difficult to convince myself that i have to work hard for what i want, because i'm no one special. In fact, all these years of education have taught me that, i'm especially unlucky. If i failed to revise, work hard, then it is more likely than not i wont do well.

It is painful to realise.
Such experience is impossible to teach. As much as you tell someone else this, it will not be effective as going through it yourself.

I told my sister two days ago after joggin,
"I can only support u as much as i can when you are putting in the effort. If you have given up, there isn't must i can do. And remember, no one will wait for you to help u."

I bet she cant rem it by now.
But i guess i was just trying to remind myself of something i've begun to forget.

Cheers!