Both students commented about the haze today, goes to show how much the haze has affected our lives in this short span of one week. 

For me, the time off from my otherwise packed schedule meant I had time to see my parents. The shortage of masks helped me to appreciate how our family and friends reacted in times of crisis.

On a national level, amidst the complains, there are Singaporeans who have heart, and remember the less fortunate during the hard times. In stark contrast, our law-by-law ministers, ministries who only know how to quote hard facts and stay objective, it seems like they will never learn. Or perhaps, we have chosen and/or trained them to be robots. We have taken the "objective" yardstick too far. So much so that it is difficult for them to deal with organic and living beings, instead, we are merely digits and statistics. To address us, we are fed with more digits, statistics and records, treaties, etc. 

That, I feel, is the disconnect. 

Still learning about giving unsolicited advice to others; letting nature takes its course; and keeping my comments to myself.

Not in a passive manner, i think to be able to let things run the natural course is important. You react only when you are engaged - it is a bit like wing tsun, you only respond when your opponent is within the reacting range and engaged you, ie meeting of hands. And the engagement, should likely be on your terms.

There is no need for me to bounce to the other extreme, in retaliation or what not. I think the only thing I could do, is to put this into practice and be aware everytime I am on the verge of giving any advice.

一代新人换旧人

"Why do you still use a photo of you and your (ex)girlfriend as your screen saver?" I asked nearing the end of our lesson, not bothered if I would hit a healing wound.

"This is my new girlfriend!" the student replied with a smile on his face.

不但感慨＂年轻真好＂，更觉得自己落后，跟不上时代。

Despite my hassling about how heartbroken he was when he last broke up, my old-school advice about not having a relationship until after N-levels, I am happy for him. Because he is a normal teenager, and has moved on from his last experience. There will be many more, I suspect, but that is for us to know and for him to find out.

Another Sunday. 

Me and my yellow submarine...

"Right here, right now. There is no where I'd rather be."

回忆往事，感觉一抹淡淡的微笑浮现在我的脸上。
虽然对未来还没有具体的计划，我有信心能够胜任。
至于现在，
满足，感恩，宁静。

自爱，
家人的支持，和谐的相处
工作稳定，方向锁定。

这些并不是偶然。
活着，就必须学会怎么好好地活着。对自己，对家人，朋友，爱人，其他人。明白自己，明确的价值观，人与人之间的交际。

说简单不简单，说难不难。

继续努力。

＂为什么要与男子争长短？

因为有能力的女生，只会寂寥不会悲惨，只会落寞不怕落魄。＂

亦舒

珍惜。惜福。

幸福

什么是幸福？

能够选择，懂得选择，勇敢去选择

就会有幸福。

Your place in the world isn't subject to their approval.

Why accept their frame of the situation, where you are required to play by their rules? You are already accepting their version of the world by doing that.

We all know how this ends, although I always hope my friends are the exceptions, I already know how this will end.

I guess you are right, you've chosen this path, you shall take responsibility of the consequences.

With that, I only hope you will learn to set your boundaries, know when to leave this wreckage behind.

Time to reflect....
是时候自我检讨了。。。

this picture was taken about one year ago. how time flies while change remains constant. 花开花谢。即是定律，也是改变。缘起缘灭，生老病死，都是一样的。 Drama is the theme of this week. I must say I have not taken them as well as I wish I could. Although most of what had happened does not involve me, neither do i feel obliged to do anything, I look on and reflect on how i have changed. I cannot decide whether I am being unfeeling (as usual), putting up a rational front, or hardened by the realities of life or really enlightened and taking things as they come along. Be it seeing the same thing happening to two of my closest friends at two different periods of time; or a repeated story happening to a close relative of mine. Actually, from a different perspective, how poetic all these seem to decide to take place together? 人生，is made up of daily choices you make.天天都在选择中。认识到这点，以这个当做基本概念，就不会事事往个人以外，寻求答案，寻求解脱；就会慢慢学会为自己的所作所为负责任。 Peaceful are those who look inward for answer to their unhappiness, unsatisfied life. 因为花会开，花会谢。假如你依赖花的美丽，你会因为花的改变，而载浮载沉。 朋友，何必如此担心? 会发生的事，没人阻止得了。要帮忙也要当事人觉得有必要。 朋友，希望他会是你的归宿。十几年的友情 朋友不是白当的。记得，有事没事都要跟我们说。。。

Winding down.

挫折不会是你的终点，只要你继续走下去。 There are so many times when I stopped and questioned if I can go on - 马拉松时，体力透支，一边走一边流眼泪的情景还历历在目。大考之前，一边写考卷一边哭的德行我还记得。 Even though these are really minute situations compared to people who had gone through tests of life and death, mean physical hardship, mental tests of unimaginable scales, I can only quote such layman examples. These experiences, coupled with reflections on my life, making them relevant and useful whenever I am faced with challenging situations. Keep on moving on. :) Because we can, and we want to bring improvement to ourselves, people around and the space we live in. Keep going on and on...

在这个网络世界，每个人都想分享自己的故事，却没有几个人停下脚步，分享自己的时间。
沟通的方式多了，联络的时间少了。
停一停，听一听。世界会不一样。

Always seeking external justifications/reasons for mistakes means u will never learn.

Don't know what came over me. The need for recognition, the anger from possible rejection or simply self-destruction/justification to plot my departure or all of the above? I was irrational and unusually hot-headed. What was I trying to prove? That I am not "meek" and that I can stand up for myself? What happened to all the sound advice I used to render with so much confidence to others? I can only say that wisdom still comes with experience and experience is accumulated. I am so greatful and glad that I had people to turn to before I made my subsequent move. Jogging allows me to have a clear mind to process my thoughts. It gives me so much space to calm down and the conversations I had in the afternoon replayed in my mind. At the same time I continued to ask myself, what was my objective in the whole exercise? There are so many possible answers and they could all be my answers. So what now? What I need to do now, is put into practise the advice that I might give to another person who may be in the same position as myself, the most practical one - to play dumb and achieve what you came for as there is no point in fighting head-on. 这个世上没有英雄。你也不是主角。你只是一个过客。 你不需要证明什么。 也不要把大家当成你的敌人，因为世界不是绕着你在转动。 你会把别人的举动，当成对你的威胁，只不过是因为你太看得起你自己。 想一想，如果你的反射性动作时硬碰硬，证明你对自己的执著，对自己的看重，对面子的放不下。冠冕堂皇的说-”这样的人，我不稀罕为他做事“ 只是一种借口，为自己铺后路。这种话，只有有身家有背景的人，才有能力说。没有的话，遇到什么都要当成一种训练，一种磨练。 态度-心态-动作-习惯。 心念会影响全世界，at least 我的世界。。。

数不清的回忆，过去。 现在回头，我看见在不同阶段陪着我的人。你们造就了现在的我。因为有你们，所以有我。 感恩，每个在我生命中留下脚步的有缘人。有深深的脚印，也有蜻蜓点水般的，不着痕迹的。 不管如何，你们让我的生命有高度。 谢谢。

婚姻是两个人一起经营的。 在婚姻的这条路上，让我们彼此互相扶持，而不是互相指责。我们的手应该紧紧相握，而不是用食指指着对方。 希望我们的今天，会永远比昨天进步。

Realised that 我没有本钱当家庭主妇。进不了厨房，勉强出得了厅堂。不够小鸟依人... 从今以后，发奋图强。。。 :) Must be anwserable to myself.

就这样
一步一个脚印地走下去
总有一天
你会抵达你的终点

:)
Morning run with buddies!

The weekend went well, 1st housewarming was smooth ;) I am so lucky to have great friends, family and good hubby.

Keeping in mind the impermanence of everything, I still want to take a moment to be grateful for all things around me.

To seeing beyond self and being compassionate in the coming week.

Wr

:)
Thank all the bodhisattva we met along the way to help us in one way or another.

I really feel very blessed, for everything went smoothly after the crash.

With the great people around me, nothing is impossible. We lived another day.

I came home to extremely warm and welcoming family and friends, so supportive and comforting at the same time.

This life is a truly blessed one. I only hope to spread my bliss to as many people as possible, to show the same compassion to the people around me, to love others as others have shown me love.

There is nothing more I asked for in this life other than to love the people around me.

Thank you.

在家靠父母出外靠朋友。我三生有幸，交到一班比山还可靠的朋友。朋友，谢谢！

I hope I will never give up on you. Right now, I really feel so helpless every time I look at you...

When will u learn?

World

Please leave me alone.
Time stop ticking.
I need to be by myself for awhile.

今天

I realized I can have a net happy day :)

可能是因为身边有好多强壮的肩膀让我靠，看开变得容易许多。
所以今天要感恩。感恩他们那么地袒护我，以他们的方式照顾，以及守护我。

Today is a net happy day as I realized there are many things to be happy about.

我现在最想做的事：睡觉。
希望一觉醒来，所有的琐碎的事都过去了。

我好累。

为什么本来很简单的事， 可以搞到那么复杂？

为什么人与人之间，可以有这么多的误会，的期望？

好难过。。。

惜福。感恩

From the start of our preparation for the wedding, buying and renovating the flat, most events take place under good conditions with good outcome :)

真的感恩，我们的福报还过得去。

This means that at some point in my life or past life I must have done something right :)

Only hope that I can continue on the right path and inspire people close to me to walk the right path.

快乐

快乐，真的有这么难吗？
为什么你们总是有办法把自己搞的不快乐？

快乐来自内心，没有外在的因素可以帮你获得。有，也只是短暂的。

不要怨天尤人，杞人忧天。学会知足长乐，平平静静的，不是很好吗？

Not a rap song person, I really like the chorus of this song though. Had a chance to listen to the lyrics of the rap more carefully while running today. Really meaningful... A person who has not contacted his family for a long time for various reasons, had a messed up life, and is finally going to call home and go home.

It may be a simple action, to pick up the phone and let your family know how you are doing. But some how, some thing is always more important than family.

When all is said and done, they are the only people who will accept you the way you are :)

可能是没有那么刻苦铭心的故事，可能已经遗忘。。。
也许是这部戏好可爱，好平凡，好牵动人心。。。
整部戏的嬉戏，贯串整部戏的，清涩的爱情故事。把年轻的可爱，顽皮，天真浪漫都表现出来了。 制作人的用心，演员的诚意。

我真的有被感动到。

相信你也和我一样 ；）

今天她说以后会想念我。看着她眼里滚动的泪水，我不知所措。安慰的话不知道从何说起。
阿肥说有空多陪陪她，说她常常提起。。
我会常常回去的。。

今天到东海岸去骑脚车，我骑在后面，好庆幸，我有机会陪他们，看着他们健健康康，开开心心的。 他们不停的重复“已经三十年没有骑了！！”

我们不需要等到失去了什么，才能领悟到亲情的重要。 他们辛苦了几十年，才把我们拉拔大。其实，我们现在需要花在他们身上的时间，比他们用在我们身上的，不算多。一顿饭，一起去逛街，随便哈啦聊天南地北。。。就这样。。。

你今天打电话回家了吗?

Those were the days :)

Even though one day I might forget all the details, I will always remember my partners-in-crime - people who walked me through the difficult times, who are still with me, already out of sight, still thinking about me at times, cant remember me already... I think of you and I will always remember and be grateful that our paths crossed, once upon a time, when it mattered :)

Thank you.

Been really busy with all the preparation. Glad that we have managed ourselves pretty well thus far, no major disagreements. Trying to pace myself/ourselves as this is only the beginning of the preparation.

I am afraid of expectations, my own or others, especially my own. If possible, I'd rather have none and just keep working at the project. I don't think that it is because I do not care, it is because if I care too much, the matter will be more difficult to manage. So set expectations aside and do it as much as I can :p Then you can go with the flow, enjoy the ideas that come along and just add it in. Be Spontaneous and Awesome!

Being an adult is really not easy. So we all have to protect and safeguard our sense of humour, our easy-going-ness. Being adult does not mean being insufferable, anal, demanding. You can be serious, complete your task and still be easy going. Just get the blardy thing done right?

I really treasure my own time now, my own space, my little me-time. Not complaining about not having enough, I know there are times when I need to sacrifice my me-time. Just that, I need this downtime to reflect, check internally on how I am doing, what is it that I'm doing right and needs improvement on. There are pockets of time in the day to do so, but I really would like to have a good block of time to myself each week..

Prioritise. Prioritise my work, my time, my friends. Everything is about priority.

慢慢的，我们都学会分辨，知道忙碌，到底是为了什么。在过程中，慢慢的长大，成熟。
在这的当儿，记得身边陪伴你的人，陪着你欢笑，沮丧，安慰着你得人。
人生，是一个过程。记得享受这个过程。

專輯：
是時候(It's time)

歌名：
愚人的國度

作詞︰孫燕姿/李焯雄
作曲︰李偲菘

愛是愚人的國度 看我們演的好辛苦
是你所謂的領悟 我不懂我不哭
看悲歡喜怒每一步
是疲憊還是依賴的束縛
愛你能不能再重複 讓我懂讓我哭
再讓時間停住 把自己看清楚
不必再說假如 我穿過一地荒蕪
幸福不能碰觸
愛是愚人的國度 不能自拔不懂退出
我們都回不去最初
曾美麗但還是不滿足
愛是自愚愚人演出 答案清楚才能謝幕
劇情 是笑 是哭

愛是愚人的國度 看我們演的好辛苦
是你所謂的領悟 我不懂我不哭
看悲歡喜怒每一步
是疲憊還是依賴的束縛
來你能不能再重複 讓我懂讓我哭
再讓時間停住 把自己看清楚
不必再說假如 我穿過一地荒蕪
幸福不能碰觸
愛是愚人的國度 不能自拔不懂退出
我們都回不去最初 曾美麗但還是不滿足
愛是自愚愚人演出 答案清楚才能謝幕
劇情 是笑 是哭
(愛是愚人的國度 不能自拔不懂退出)
我們都回不去最初 怎麼愛還是不滿足
愛是自愚愚人演出 答案清楚才能謝幕
結局 是笑 是哭

Don't know why.

Everything is relative, even friendship. Sometimes when some people has already written you off, no matter how hard you try, it is difficult to gain back anything, the trust, the relationship, the understanding. Mayb the question is why were you written off in the first place, mayb the question is how did you try to win it back. But no matter what the question is, some things, it just cant be forced. No matter how valid your reasons are for neglecting whatever relationship there is, it will merely be an excuse for the recipient.

Who would want to be left behind? The feeling of being left behind is not and will never be good. The feeling that your friends are far better and has left for greener pastures and are only now turning back as a sign of sympathy cant be good.

Is it merely pride? Is it only an issue of face? Is he/she just trying to get back at you?

Does it matter at this point in time?

Sometimes, I just want to write these off as "if you know me, you will stick by me." It is a rather selfish way of thinking, very self-centered, expecting every one to understand me, instead of putting myself in their shoes. But it is also a kind of self-assurance, quiet confidence in my friends that they are rational enough, they know me enough, they trust me enough to know that I will not leave them behind.

At my end, I know that if this friend were to be in trouble, I have no qualms to help. No matter how much grudges he may hold against me. Actually, I should wish that misfortune will never fall upon him and perhaps, our friendship may just be like two parallel lines, never to touch upon each other again. If that is so, may peace and serenity be with him and his family.

That said, I realised I am becoming slower and slower in my reaction to news... I tend to take a long time to process some shocking news, it is as if my nervous system has been affected badly by drugs usage or something. I blame it on the flu medication I took last night :p

Unable to digest news and offer proper reaction, words. I wonder why is that so. Everything seem so "just the way it is"? I am lacking compassion, lacking feeling, lacking words of expression...
Does this make me a cold person? I doubt so, just a little bit slower.
This just makes me a person who is less able to express herself. I think I am just more careful with my words now and being a person who is usually not so careful, I am not able to process the "right words" so quickly.

Mayb I just have too much time in my hands now.

What do I want with my life?

I am but human.

Subjected to feelings, ill-thoughts, bad habits. I am afraid that such things will consume me.

I know I am not idealistic. I know the world is unfair. So why is it that when unjust is around, I feel affected? It is not for me to judge what is happening.

I feel helpless. I feel disappointed in the system. I should be able to do more, yet I didnt.

These days, I have been rather disappointed in myself too. The work, the attitude. Is this disappointment or simply discontentment? with my life? Why?

Need to find my equilibrium once more. :)

There is still a long long way to go! Jia You!

The day wasn't exactly smooth. Plus I can foresee a difficult period ahead for the next few months.

It is so easy to walk away from the situation, to find my ticket out of difficulties. Yet this time, I want to see myself through this. Perhaps the factors to determine whether I go and stay still lean on the staying side, or perhaps I have so much other commitments that I have to stay.

As someone recently told me, if I had to leave each time times get tough in office, I probably cannot stay at any job for long..

Let's take realistic baby steps in every thing we do this 2011!

从来就不认为钻牛角尖是一种美德，特别是都市人。太过敏感或感情用事都是种累赘。

可能又是时候坐下自我检讨了。

温

I need and enjoy my "Me Time".
A little bit of quality time to myself. Nothing much, nothing too deep, just some time to enjoy my music without people.

My down time.

Seems like the down time is longer lately, I wonder if it is dependent on the weather/time of the year. Perhaps my ability to process information is so slow now that I need time by myself to digest what has taken place in the morning.

:S

This December, have you taken some time to think about 2010 and how it mattered to you?

Sitting here on a Sunday morning with my coffee - faced with the last week of 2010.

Well, if i were to evaluate my life according to the $ in my bank account, how far I have progressed in my work, whether I have taken another step to set up my own family, I guess I should be disappointed with myself.

But personally, I do not subscribe to those benchmarks, although they do affect me sometimes. There is also nothing wrong with evaluating oneself with those benchmarks, since they are the most quantitative ones that allow people to compare themselves across industry. However, my evaluation stems from assessment of myself, how I have progress as a person, how I have expand my horizon, how I have fared in my different positions in life instead of an assessment to compare, I choose to assess myself to gain awareness, insight to the person that I am or am becoming. This may not be everyone's objective, so the difference in benchmark.

Looking back at 2010, like all other years, it has its good and bad. In terms of work, I think I have progressed at a slower rate than last year, definitely. I sometimes worry at how I may become too comfortable with my current job that I will lose my "marketability" in the future. But I realised that is a question that only I can answer, my choice of what is it I want in life.

Family wise, at this year end, I am proud to tell myself, I have tried hard enough at my family relations. I am so glad for my little niece, who brightens up my day just by being her. I am so grateful for my sisters, who are so perfect in their own little ways. I think I really have to work harder with my parents, to allow them to work lesser, enjoy their days more :)

I haven't been a very good friend to many people and I hope that I have been ok for some. I need to judge less and be more open minded - been trying to tell myself this for the longest time. But sometimes, it is just too much work to maintain some friendship. Perhaps that's why most of my friends have a certain characteristic across the board. LOL!

As for relationship wise, I think I have made some progressed in terms of my mindset about a relationship. I probably need work harder on it and more learning has to be done for this aspect of my life.

All in all, I am contented with 2010. I traveled to Taiwan, Australia, Malaysia (KL, Langkawi, Ipoh, Kota Kinabalu), Philippines. Represented the Uni as Negotiation Coach in Australia, climbed KK, personal best in my 10km run, finished my first 21km, have my first business venture, drove myself and family to places, organised my first family gathering for mommy's birthday.

This Christmas, I am contented and at peace with myself.

Wishing any one reading this to be able to find peace with yourself and a great 2011 ahead.

Love,
WR

Olivia Ong : You and Me

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
There's some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Holding her close he leading the way
Out at the park Enjoying the Day
And you can tell they'll be ok
Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me
You and me

Olivia Ong 我願意

梦一场 - Olivia Ong

Just came back from Langkawi. Didnt realise I took such a beautiful picture until I was transferring these photographs to the desktop.

Somehow, some things simply cannot be explained.

Good night! It is going to be a long day tomorrow!!

Amazing song, great movie ;) Makes you want to be part of greatness!! Awesomeness!!!

Enjoy!

He is damn freaking good! Only heard one of his songs in the past, how much have I missed :)

Enjoy!

Came home in time to see the sunset today!!

Beautiful sunset :) How long has it been since you slow down and take some time to savour a peaceful and beautiful moment like this. Wish anyone who is reading this to have some time to yourself everyday, no matter where you are and what you be doing :)

Cheers!

">









I'm going to sing Karaoke with my friends tomorrow!! So eggcited that I was going through all the OLD school songs that I used to sing. Listening to all these songs and reminiscing the emotions that used to engulf me when I sang them in the past.

Wow.

It has been a while haven't it?

:)

">
Magic Power - 我是谁 我是谁 我是谁

作词：廷廷 (Magic Power)
作曲：廷廷 (Magic Power)



我是谁 你是否常常这样问自己
我是谁 总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁 是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁 只有不是自己才安全

为什麽 你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽 你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽 这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽 到底做错了什麽

朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

会不会 上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会 是故意整你不是不小心
会不会 你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会 坚持要做自己太危险

凭什麽 难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽 先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽 只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽 随便就把人定罪

朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我知道自己是最美丽的
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽

happiness

Try to simplify everything and see them fall into place :)

I've moved firm. After much thoughts and various conversations with some of the more impt people in my life, some of whom supported the decision, some of whom opposed and there were those who left the decision very much to me, I have moved to a much larger firm. Telling myself that if I had to work hard at something which I dislike, I might as well work for more money.

After two months here, I will say that things are not necessarily better. At the risk of sounding like a contradicting spoilt brat of the generation Y, there is too much free time. Part of the reason is because I was not trained in this area of work in my first year, hence I am pretty much picking up things along the way and therefore the slower pace. That aside, there is a very clear line drawn between the associates and the staffs. No doubt the scene is cordial, but at the same time, there is some distance between the two groups. And most importantly, there is tension between different teams due to the overflowing work load.

I have been questioning my choice for a while after I have started, asking myself whether I have made the wrong decision? Would this be a dead end for me, to be stuck doing conveyancing for the rest of my career, being the bottom scrapper as they have stereotyped the conveyancing lawyers to me. Will I end up not learning or doing as much as my peers in the future as my ex-boss told me?

Frankly, until now I do not have the answers to these questions. However, I know that I have requested to be specialised, to learn the foundation, to learn how to be patient. Being anxious about doing something "big", "important" isn't going to help at this moment.

I just have to remind myself of the goals at the end, what I want to do, what I would like to move on to, etc. Although the goals or what I wanna do might change as time goes by, I have to keep the big picture in mind. Be focus at my current position, make it comfortable and wait for opportunities to come knocking on my door...

Moreover, I am pretty happy with my current life. Good balance between work and life. A little idealistic I know, but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

That's that for my career or rather my job..

Till next time :)

Seems like everyone in the firm is thinking about quitting. I wonder if it is because of the firm, or the people or both?

I suppose different people are unhappy with different things, different people are able to take different level of stress. Some people have tolerated things longer than others, some leaving with an option, some leaving without any other job security...

There probably isn't an explanation for all these, and the answer to my problems probably isn't here either. But I am beginning to call the question my philosophy/principles at work. I am beginning to wonder is being hardworking all that is necessary. I'm even questioning whether I should be doing what I am.

I am constantly telling myself that I am learning, I should try to learn as much as possible, do as much as possible. But things have been backfiring on me. Be it my own carelessness or anybody else's. I am seriously questioning whether I belong to a firm of this size to begin with. I am beginning to question my basic capabilities to connect to people, to liaise with people, to do simple administrative work. I am starting to ask what is it actually I want to do?

Am I trying to escape my problems at work? I am not sure. Would I be happier working elsewhere or doing something else? Seriously, I have no idea. I could probably have caught the "I'm whining about nothing" syndrome.

Is it so soon that I have to re-assess my choices? Or should I wait it out further?
Can I wait it out further? Would it be considered giving up?

sigh.

mental note to self: when some one tells you that "You won't understand", more likely than not, you will not understand his/her situation completely. So just accept it graciously and acknowledge the fact that you are not all knowing/knowledgeable and listen to what the other party has to say.

I know that I have always made this mistake when some one wishes to talk about their difficulties with me. I think I am the sort who jumps to conclusion to quickly: You are too emotional, you are too indecisive, you do not know what to do with your life, etc etc. But isn't that usually how pple feel when they are lost in the first place. Even if they knew they are indecisive or emotional, what good will it do to point it out to them at that time?

Especially towards people who find it difficult to share their feelings in the first place, my "know it all" tone/attitude will actually scare them back into their shell, comfort zone, pretending everything is okie.

It doesn't help that I like to share my experience. To me, sharing about a similar experience that I have gone through, lets that person know that I am on his/her side. That I know how it feels like. However, to most of the people, they don't want to hear about me and my stories. They are there to share their stories, their experience, their dilemma. My sharing becomes "stealing of the lime light" or some sort. Those who are better friends retreat into their listening friend mode while those are less understanding think I am an arrogant and selfish basta*d (which is probably true to some extent).

Tonight is not that night that I feel ashamed of myself. I have come to realise something about myself that is not entirely good for myself (if I wanna keep my friends) or my closed ones. I would like to do better :) I would like to be a better person, if not in other aspects, the least I can do is be a more approachable friend.

Of course there will definitely be times when I continue be a self absorbed as*, but probably to those whom I cannot be bothered to find it within me to be the bigger person :)

Ahhh.. The power of self-awareness and autonomy :)

the morning of father's day (actually the afternoon, cos i woke up pretty late), my Dad peeled mangosteen for me :) I came out of the shower, and he simply told me to sit down at the dining table while he peeled the purple fruit for me :) :) :)

Having heard how people around me have less than perfect relationship with their fathers, I am really grateful, on this day, for my daddy :) He has his flaws, definitely, but he dotes on me undoubtedly.

I guess I am really glad that I didn't sneak out yesterday and cause every one to worry :) It will probably be something that I feel bad for for a good long while, but it is better than having to regret for the rest of my life if something had happened.

I know I have to be resting, to stay at home and sit around, take my meds. But I am only asking to attend half of my good friend's wedding dinner tonight, is that too much? I won't be eating any thing, I won't be moving around unnecessarily. I will take care of myself when I'm there.

ARGH. I am so frustrated. It is not as if I want to go out to have fun and neglecting my body. I really want to be there to witness my friend's wedding. How can all of you just shut me up like that? Forcing me to stay at home?

Now all I can do is sit at home and blog about it. It has been a long long while since I have to ask pple for permission to go out. and the rejection is utmost annoying.

Halfway through my second doze of laxative (actually, just a mouth of it) and I am toying with the idea of throwing all of it away. Absolutely disgusting trying to down it and not to mention the after-effects of it.

As much as I would like to be cool about the whole thing, telling others that there is no need to visit me, that it is a small procedure, I am actually afraid of it. I have no idea what to expect of it, the entire experience is new and I am glad my dear boy will be taking a day off just to be beside my bed when I wake up.

I'm sure it is not going to look pretty like in the movies. I am going to feel groggy, thirsty, look like crap and be in pain (and probably be a pain). Am trying hard not to think about it and just take a step at a time. What's got to be done, will have to be done.

At the same time, I am going to miss out on all the action of a good friend's wedding, while the entire gang goes gaga over the big occasion. I might even have to miss the wedding dinner and the stay in 1degree15, the staycation with the gang and their families :( The entire idea of missing the whole thing just makes me feel really disappointed, like a little girl being trapped at home because of the rain! Boo!@

That little girl aside, I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow and I should be back by Friday! If any thing should happen to me, I hope the banks waive all my debts to them... ;p

WR

The Climb - Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah)

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Whoa a oh oh

Dedicated to every one and any one - living their life today, making a difference, striving to become stronger, better than yesterday. Keep going!!! :)

Haven't blog here for the longest time... I have finally started on my adulthood for about 3 months.. Started working full time, learning how to sustain on my own, how to stand on my own two feet. Cross roads, split seconds decisions which may actually affect the rest of my life.

So many people, trying to give you so many different advices.. At the same time, not everyone is advising you for your interests.. You never know when some of them have a stake in the entire issue.. Life no longer is one dimension, there are so many perspectives to it.

I was definitely not naive before this. However, having to deal with this day after day can be tiring. It is no longer listening to it on a narrative basis, instead, experiencing it first hand, dealing with it face to face. There is no pause button, and to seek for advice at that moment.

Then again, a wrong choice simply means you have to become wiser the next time; at the same time, a seemingly correct choice doesn't necessarily mean only good consequences flow from it.

It has only been three months. I always thought i belonged to the game, I was told I had the EQ to survive in the real world; the ability to connect with people. Having that alone is not enough. A little distrust can do some good. Some perseverance and determination.. The ability to pretend every thing is fine.

I never thought I am a principled person. but i find it hard to pretend to respect a person whom i've already lost my respect for.

I always thought I am very forgiving.. yet I realised i write people off with just one instance.

Everyday, I'm learning more and more about myself. Just three months, how much have i gathered?

There are so many things that are innate in me. There are so much more that I can learn. I have to tell myself there is no limit to how much i can learn.

Everyday it is a battle. Battle within myself. To do this or that? Is this me? or do I want to become like that? Will this route be the better option? Is it really better for me to change?

Morphing. Transforming. I know I am going through a state of change.

But is stronger necessarily means better? What is better? Better future? More lasting?

It is very easy to get lost out there. Not in terms of sexual morality.. But in terms of principles. Your set of principles is constantly being challenged. Your set of ideas is constantly being compared against others. When do you decide to discard one of yours in exchange for one of the norms? Should you be doing that in the first place?

在外面的花花世界，很容易迷失自己
要记住自己是谁，根本不简单。
要有一定的意志力和自信，
还要对自己的肯定。

Only one with a strong sense of security and assurance can breeze through that concrete jungle unscathed.

Now more than ever, I need constant self-reflection.. Now more than ever, I need to know what I want out of my life.

What better way to sit down and reflect on your life during a chinese new year long weekend?

This new year, there is so much to think about...

WR

WR's statistics for xmas:

SPent 33 hrs in office for 2 days;
Apologised to 8 ppl within 12 hours..

I'm damn frustrated.

:)

But no one will understand right?

Unfortunately, I really need to blog today before starting my work.

The objective of the whole post is to ease my state of upset-ness since last night and to prevent me from telling that culprit off face to face, which might escalate matters.

I/We have stood by the ringside to watch the entire mess unfold before our eyes. Not one time have we stepped in to try to mediate because:

1) Since we do not know any thing, we didn't want to make things worse as u will say that we are taking sides.

2) I personally saw the entire episode as an attention grabbing stunt. (Yes, and i'm actually wasting my time now to provide that space on my blog) and

3) We are in no position to mediate a quarrel between the two of you.

So we have very intentionally left things alone as they were, not wanting to be involved.

When asked why you didn't let us know what happened, I appreciate the same courtesy - to leave us out of the picture. Instead, you went ranting on how bad we are as friends, not allowing you to grow, too protective...

Excuse them for being good friends, or trying to be there for you as friends. (I have never tried being there for you before, pls don't waste my time)

Please forgive them for trying to render you advice which you do not appreciate because they are not things you wish to hear. Have we ONCE force it down your throat? They are not judgmental. I AM. I distant myself from you when you don't listen. THAT IS JUDGMENTAL.

They are the idiots who are always there for you even if you do stupid things, listening to your whining, hoping things will turn out better for you, hoping one day you will GROW UP!

For goodness sake, please don't try to give me that rubbish about having to bump ur head to grow up. WHen you bump ur head, other people have sleepless nights. How do u deal with ur emotional trauma? By imposing more trauma on other people. If you are so hardy, if everyone can trust you for picking urself up, would they even bother to prevent you from falling? PLEASE ASK URSELF THOSE QUESTIONS!

Their advices stem from their concern for your well-being. If you do not appreciate it, fine, but please do make unwarranted comments like we are being over protective.
If we don't care about how u lead ur life, we won't bother.
If we Dont care about how ur life turns out, we wont bother.

This is very disappointing. Throughout our years of knowing each other, time and again you have done something lydat. But this is going to top it all. They've always told me that we have to accept our friends for who they are, accept the good and the bad. I didn't have a come-back to that. Now I do. I can't believe they have taken so much from you over the past years and this is what they get at the end of it all.


I am still not involving myself in the original quarrel. But please think through what you want to say before churning this kind of rubbish out. Don't say things u will regret later just because you are being defensive.

If you ever have the luck to chance upon this, I am not sorry for what I've said. If you had said the same rubbish to my face, this is what I would have said to you in urs.

执著=烦恼

当你对某一件事，一个人，一种感觉有执著，就会去追求。

因为要得到，所以有烦恼。
因为得不到，所以有烦恼。

在追求的过程， 需要处心积虑，需要步步为营，需要勾心斗角，而烦恼，而作出违背良心，违背意愿的事。
在得不到的时候， 生气，沮丧，一蹶不振。然后报复，怪别人，或更努力的去争取。

执著因为‘我’在为‘我’自己奋斗。因为‘我‘需要为自己打算，不可以被别人欺负。因为‘我’要成功，要出人头地。
何谓‘我’？
何谓‘出人头地'?
何谓‘成功’？

有了‘我’，所以自私，所以输不起，所以给不起。

有了‘我’，所以就有相对的‘你’，而当‘我’的习惯与‘你’的有所出入，有不同，‘我们’又执著与自己的习惯，就有烦恼，有争吵，又不愉快。

几时‘我’才会明白，没有‘我’，不要执著，不要烦恼？

Last lap of my PLC, 2 weeks to the exams, I have another 5 modules to cover.

Got to pace myself for this last bit, not going to let my previous efforts go to waste :)

I need to set my priorities straight, now, next year and in the next 5 years. Going into the working world soon, need to seriously weigh the important things in my life.


Cheers,
WR

Ever thought about having a choice about your family members? I'm sure everyone had, at one point in their lives, but how many out there would have chosen otherwise? Who would you have preferred as your family?

I love my family, my grandfather, my aunts and uncles from maternal side. Given a choice, I wouldn't have exchange any one of them for anyone else. They make my life unique, my experiences and shaped my outlook in life. These people are ever giving, supportive and everything you need when you are depressed.

No, I do not have a perfect family. I have my fair share of frustrations with them, sometimes they care too much, sometimes i just do not have time to deal with so many people at home...

But that is family for you. They are people whom you have to go through ups and downs with, they are people whom you cannot choose, you have to live with, can never separate the bond between. You have to find a way to accept them, deal with them and even tolerate them if necessary. That is family.

I'm really grateful that I have a wholesome family. My parents didn't have time for us when we were younger, but because of my materal aunts and uncles, we grew up proper and well. We were lucky. Until today, the intricacies of the family web continues to grow but one principle remains, I will do what I can for the people I love. That is the beauty of these people around me, they use actions to show their love for one another but never ask for any thing in return.

Before any one thinks that this can never happen to them, why can't their parents/relatives/brothers/sisters be like that, that individual need to understand that the basic fundamentals of that is to ask what you can give to your family first. Ask what can you do to better the relationships amongst your immediate family members, to have them in your considerations when you make your decisions. As to whether they reciprocate, it will take time.

Perhaps all these are rosy pictures that I have paint for myself. Maybe you would think that a person like me has never seen the world, never experience what a lousy family member can do to one.

Well, at the end of the day, all I can say is that it is your perspectives, your decisions, your actions that you can control. If you are constantly looking to make someone else to do what you expect him/her to, life is going to tough on you.

Sometimes life makes you experience something over and over again to make sure you learn the lesson :) If that something bad keeps occurring to you, perhaps it is time you learn to do it a different way?

WR

WEAK AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CANNOT MAKE IT. I CAN'T STAND MYSELF. USELESS BUGGER.
I NEED TO SCOLD SOME SENSE INTO MYSELF.

WTF

努力做好自己的本分， 要能够照顾自己 才能去爱别人。
不会照顾自己的人，只会成为别人的负担。
就算是心甘情愿，也不会长久。
要学着独立，才不会在一切消失后，感到无助。
因为没有人有义务在你的身边照顾你一辈子。

这些道理，好久好久以前我曾经有所领悟。。。后来又渐渐的淡忘。。。
越来越依赖，成了一种习惯， 也成了一种理所当然，让你喘不过气， 让这段感情面对不必要的压力。

是时侯长大了。
以后的事，没人说得准。
只希望一切顺其自然，不必去想太多。。 到最后，是你的就是你的。。 如果不是，也没有必要强留。

每个人都追求幸福，何谓幸福？

温

Somethings I realised I have to re-learn them so many times. It is not good enough to just learn it once and get it etched in my head. Perhaps then, the lesson was not learnt through experience.

Life isn't easy. I find myself reverting back to my old self over and over again. The needy and probably insecured person. I'm pretty sure the problem lies with me, because it is only me that I can change.

Also, the procrastinator strikes again! It is 1 month to my exams and I'm still at sea about my work. I think I've taken the procrastination up another level all together.

Family is fine, both parents are sick though, pains here and there. I hope i can do whatever that is within my means to make them happy at this age. Brought them to have sushi on monday in the name of my younger sister's birthday. Cost me quite a bit (relative to my allowance) but I could see my dad was very happy about the whole experience. He is always lamenting how we are all grown up and leaving the home, leaving the two of them. I just hope he understands that even if we are grown up and married off someday, we will still take care of him :)

Actually, Life has been good to me, still. I have food when I'm hungry, I have sufficient money to spend without having to ask from my parents, although still can't afford to give them money. Unless and until I fail my PLC which is not an option, everything else can be taken care of.

Friends. I have a few that i keep in my heart, knowing I care about them. At this stage, i guess there is little to ask without risking like you're probing. Unless they are willing to share their lives with you. I don't call people who are unable to open up to me as superficial friends, some people just can't. Until they feel the need to do it, I know I'll be there :)

Haven't been blogging for a long long long time :)

Life has been pretty good for me, nothing much to complain about. Relative to a lot of people out there, I should feel lucky :) Even though i still whine at times, I know I've got to be grateful for what I have :p

Also partly a reason that I haven't been blogging is the fact that I think I really can't be bothered about those 'big headline news' out there. I used to be really angsty and have an opinion about pretty much everything. Now I still do have my opinions, just don't feel the need to let people know it any more. Though my love ones will beg to differ on this. (they are the honoured ones who get to hear me speak :p)

Adopting a really 'live and let live' approach to the people around me. Seriously, however they want to live their lives and make decision shouldn't affect me :)

A primary school teacher with tattoos, post bikini pictures on the www and get wasted in pubs and clubs - this type of news used to get me blogging a whole lot. Although I still think about it, I stop wanting to tell pple how I feel about it on www.

Probably because I have grown out of the phase, or even the need to tell people i have an opinion. Most importantly, I no longer need to constantly write out what I think and substantiate it just so I know and remember who i am.

Although i like to revisit my blog to remind myself how angsty i used to be :)

Cheers,
WR

Why do we have people on our Msn that we can't even name who that is?

Why do we have 'friends' on facebook, that we haven't talked to in the past year?

baileys makes everything well and fine :D

我是否还是我？

Can you handle?

I haven't reflected on my life for a while now, probably because I do not have a need to write journals for grades now. Another excuse is probably the lack of time. Being in a relationship for me seems to mean that I have lesser time on my own.. It is always a rush to something else, thinking about how to organise my week according to my family, my friends and my boyfriend. Since school has started, it has also been about the next tutorial, rushing for the next deadline and what not. When they all come together, it just seems like I don't have space to breathe and time for any thing else, especially myself.

I believe in self-reflection. Because only when you reflect about your actions, your present stage in life, your choices, your beliefs - only then you will understand yourself more, thus allowing the people around you to understand you better. Only when you know what you have, will you understand what you want to achieve. Then there can be goals and room for improvement. Only then will you have a big picture in mind to work towards.

I've conveniently stopped doing that for the longest time.

I've forgotten the bliss of being alone. Having breathing space and spending time doing nothing.
My life has been occupied by endless silly endeavours online, reading blogs, surfing net, msn-ing.. counterproductive things which ought not take up my time to do my tutorials.

I used to tell people that time is always enough, depending on how you use it. The people who complain they do not have enough time, are the ones who do not use it efficiently. Now I have become one of them. The lack of discipline is actually a necessary consequence of lack of self-reflection.

Most importantly, sitting alone to reflect helps me ponder about where I want to go in life. What I want to do with my life. It gives meaning to what I wish to do. It reminds me what is important in my life and why so. Thus, giving me the motivation to do them.

《简简单单》

我们都是泡沫轻轻一碰就破

眼泪是爱的火花 昨天就像飞机穿过我的窗口

我什么都没有 我推开了双手你予取予求

直到你想自由 痛苦的时候我不会闪躲

就像树叶甘心为春风吹落

只是简简单单的爱过

我还是我 简简单单的爱过

我还是我简简单单的疯过

被梦带走 当故事结束之后

心也喜欢一个人寂寞

I don't have to be a mother to understand how a mother cares. All the while I have a great relationship with my parents, always the favourite child (as I want to think), always the smart one, the one who brings the laughter at dinner tables... I love my parents. very much.

But it is always precisely so that it hurts even more when you quarrel with them... When you cannot see eye to eye with them on something... When you think that they have misunderstood you... It is more tiring maintaining the all sensible child image than just another child in the household. It is more tiring when you feel that there are greater expectations of you.

I failed to maintain the intricate balance among the 4 important aspects in my life: Family, Friends, Relationship and Work. Even when the balance is tipped slightly, all 4 aspects experience big ripples. For that, I have plenty of excuses - BLE is difficult and demanding, need to network... But cutting all that out, all that is left, is myself to blame. I haven't been able to juggle all these well, wanting everything and not wanting to sacrificing anything. Perhaps it is time to realise that sometimes, somethings gotta give. And acquaint myself with the concept of priority...

I just made my mother a very very sad woman, very sad mother and my dad a very disappointed father. In all frankness, it really sucks. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I was supposed to tell her calmly why I was so pissed with her comments. I was supposed to be that objective and grown up girl that I have tried to be for the past year or so. I was not supposed to make her cry.

I am really sorry the anger, the angry words/exchange, for making her cry. Most of all, I'm disappointed with myself, my actions for the past few months, my justifications.

At some point, I strayed and got lost. Now I need to get a grip.

Cheers,
WR

A brand new beginning.

After a few weeks at work, I have come to realise that the dynamics of working life is much more than just work itself. The work, it seems to me, is the smallest denomination and the most straight forward aspect of working. Instead, the other things such as human relations that take up more time. Balancing between being an efficient worker and a sociable colleague can be really difficult at times.

This new beginning is daunting, less exciting than I have imagined it to be. I have to admit that I am already fearing what is to come. At one point in time, I was unsure of the future, that I even have a future to speak of. In that short period of time, I let the fear consumed me, losing all perspective and composure. The problem, no doubt was a small one, was sufficient to throw me off course. The fear that I have created for myself, was extremely out of proportion. I was a victim of my own pessimistic imagination, once again.

Also within that short period of time, I managed to recover. I am fortunate enough to have many rational and experience people by my side. People who are patient enough to listen to my minute problems and give me rational advices. I am thankful that my lack of confidence in my ability was compensated by their faith in me; that my pessimism was always met with their rationalising of my situation. No doubt I cannot always rely on them, but I know there are people who will have my back when I fall at times.

At this beginning, I am learning how to stand up on my own two feet. I am learning how to deal with seemingly impossible problems (which I create in my mind). I am learning how to balance the different forces in my life. It is just like a baby learning how to stand. I know and I believe that eventually I will get the hang of it. But before that can happen, I'm glad I have the hands to hold me, to break my fall before I hit the ground hard.

I am especially thankful, because these are people whom I can speak freely to. These are people whom I know will treat me with sincerity.

At this juncture, the beginning of another phase in my life, I have to start planning for my life ahead. Gone are the days when my life plan was in academic years; my goals were to attend lectures and number of distinctions at the end of that year. Now is the time when I decide when my next period of assessment will be; the standard of success, etc.

Where do I see myself in 5 yrs? Where do I want to see myself in 5 yrs?

A big picture approach, a birds' eye view of things to help me manage all my aspects in life. It is time I sit myself down to map it out.

To my love ones:
Please stay strong for me and with me because I need your support for my decisions. I promise to make all reasonable efforts to make rational decisions. Please continue to believe in me.

Rise to greatness and awesome-ness.

Last lap of my academic career, about a month before my exam for this semester end... Then i'll be moving on to the next phase in my life.

Looking back at the 4 years, what have I gained as a person, as a student, as a daughter, as a friend?

It is that time again to take stock of what I have done, what I haven't done, what I could have improved on and what I have done well... And I asked myself, was I conscious for the most part of it? Was i aware of what I was doing for the last 4 years? Have I chosen my path purposefully or was the path choosing me all the while?

I'm proud to say that for the later part of my 4 years, I begin to see the purpose of me being in law school. I have chosen my path purposefully for the large part of it. And I believe I'm still moving in the direction I want to.

I'm very proud to say that even though i may not be the most enlightened person, I have came a long way from what i used to be. There are definitely room for improvement, but I am glad with myself. From a person who had no confidence in her future career, i've pushed on and found the light at the end of the tunnel. I've persevered and found my niche.

That being said, I could never have done without the encouragement, putting down, etc of the people around me. The people who walked me through the difficult times, who guided me through the learning process, the people who put me down so that I can stand up stronger, the people who try to take away my success, the people who were happy for my success...

I am grateful. For I would not be who I am without each and every little contribution that they have made towards my journey, both good and bad.

From here, with the right values and perspective in life, I will continue to move on. I have entered law school, feeling broken and down because I have ceded control of my life to external factors. I will continue my journey knowing without attributing my emotions to external actions. I choose to believe that the 4 years of law school has made me wiser, more intelligent and more aware of myself. I want to believe that from this point onwards, I am better equipped when I face challenges.

Cheers!

WR

Just 6 months ago, where was I, How did i feel?
Did i know that i will be here and now and feeling this way?

Significantly different. I'm returning back to the person i used to be. Everything that I have learnt and equipped myself with, I have left them somewhere along the way.

This is my life. This is about me.

I am trying. Trying very hard to make things work.
But at the back of my mind, the thought that you are never mine to begin with is still lurking.

:D

But at the same time, I am slowing re-collecting what I have picked up along my way in life.

If i fall again this time, i'll just have to pick myself up again tml. Because no one will take care of you like yourself :D


Cheers.

WR

OneRepublic
Stop and Stare

This town is colder now
I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move
I'm shakin' off the rust
I've got my heart set
on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands just take the wheel
Every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Ohhh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags I never thought I could
Steady feet don't fail me now,
I'm a run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out, and I'm standing down.

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone get scared
But I've become what I can't be
Whoa!!!
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone get scared
I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see?

Lines to live by:

1) Work real hard and everything else will fall into place.

2) When you do not get what you want, experience is what you get out of it.

3) There are no losers in life, just people who take a longer time to get to where they want in life.

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。

Life can be so unpredictable sometimes. The person who is in the pink of health right beside you now may be diagnosed with some nasty disease tomorrow. You cannot prevent it from happening, all you can do is come to terms with it. This is a fact of life and one of the sufferings in life.

As we grow older and sickness starts to plague the people around us, especially the ones we love, helplessness starts to overwhelm us. Looking around, I realised how insignificant and fragile our lives are and how fast time can zip pass us.

No one can escape the cycle of life. When it applies to our own individual life, it is easy to come to terms with. If I have to die, then so be it. The pain only really hit us when it is time for our love ones to leave us. When there is nothing we can do about it except wait for it to take place and after that, slowly transit into a life without that person.

It is easy to say "then treasure the people around you now" but how many people can actually consistently do so? And how many people can apply this principle to every single person in his/her life? What is defined as 'treasuring'? Why do people have to wait till his/her someone is on the verge of leaving before treasuring him/her? What do people eventually forget the pain?

I'm not emo and i am not referring to any one in my family in particular. Just some thoughts about how my parents are growing older by the day and how my grandfather's health has deteriorated over the years... These are inevitable and it has dawn upon me that these are things that i eventually have to come to terms with. Through this, I hope people around me also start to realise that the state of things is not permanent. Things change, for better or for worse. Always equip yourself with a positive outlook that enable you to deal with these changes :D And you will definitely live a more fulfilled life.

Cheers!

Love,
WR

Sometimes i just think that everyone wants a piece of me... Not literally. When i make someone happy, i upset someone else. The relationship is not directly causal, but the implication of me doing one thing sometimes means i'll make someone else unhappy. Someone who is important to me.

I think if it happens so much to me, i must be the problem.
Why the problem? Because my time is so limited, and i cannot make everyone happy. So i have to choose.
The question is how do i go about choosing?
How then can i balance?
I don't like to do the balancing act.
I don't like to be restricted. To be questioned. To have people breathing down my neck, asking me where did i go, what time did i come home, even if they are my parents.

It is difficult.
What you do is never enough. You can do your best, yet, they can still find a problem with u.

I know and I try and i want to be a good daughter, niece, gf, friend, etc. But i guess i am just trying to hard to please everyone. I need to learn how to let go. I need to learn to draw a line. To know when is it that i have done enough and let nature takes its course.

KW told me "remember u told me before that one person can only do so much"

I can only do so much. I felt that i can make a difference by communicating, by telling them how i feel, what i am doing. I am still going to try, but this time, i'm going to do as much as i can. I am not going to be bogged down if they cannot understand .. Because i tried.

I just have to remember that i've tried my best. If things don't work out, they don't.

WR

Emotions,
It makes the world so complicated.

It can make partners so loving, yet so fill with jealousy at the same time.
It can make simply friendship look so sinister.
It can make something so innocent so difficult to fulfill.

I was faced with a dilemma. I used to believe that I should fight for my rights in a relationship. If I believe I had every right to meet my friends, I will do it. It is up to my partner to deal with whatever insecurities that he has.

I believed in honesty. Telling my partner whatever I come across, I feel. I want to let him know what i want to do, who i am going out with, etc.
I have been told the stupidity of such unlimited frankness, i have been warned.
But I always believe that together, a couple should be able to work together, to stay together, to trust each other, even with all the available information.

But emotions. Emotions for each other often make them irrational..

haiz

I dunno what to say.

http://mylittlenewhope2.blogspot.com/

Well, according to my fren, A true story that took place in Singapore.
To me, it is another true story happening in Singapore.

It is really sad, emotional and difficult. From the entries, she is an elequoent lady who is really pleasant looking. In fact, I'd say she is quite pretty. I cannot imagine a man, who has such a blissful and happy family, would want to throw it all away.

For love?
That he no longer loves the wife at home carrying his child? That he no longer feels like being at her beck and call because she is now pregnant and tempremental? That he no longer wishes to be in her company because she stays at home, contented with her happy family life?
That this other lady in the picture is more compatible with him? Because they are in the same field, they share the same interest, perhaps in travelling?

Yes, undoubtly, Love works in the most mysterious way. No one knows when it is going to spring on you. You can be married and you still feel the affection for someone else.
But, Marriage is more than love. More than just the feeling of affection. It is the past, present and future that the couple has built together andwill continue doing so. It is the memories that two people have accumulated. It is built up of the difficult and mandane times, while together they savour the good times...

It is not the mere affection, mere periodical matching of character. Affection will wear off, similarities in character will change eventually, they are not static..

Though like jye said, we don't know the full story, we have got to be objective.
可是很难不心疼那还没出世的小孩
她是那么的无辜
That no matter how objective you are, a woman carrying a child to full term alone without her husband is a difficult task.
The decision to have the child was made together... The decision to end the marriage was taken unilaterally...

To the Mommy,
You have to be strong for your child. What has passed cannot be change. May evil not befall on him, to let him know that you can be stronger without him. That you will do better without him. May he live with his conscience for a good long while. And you shall move on, without hatred. Because he is no longer worthy to occupy your thoughts any more.

Cheers,
WR

well, it has been a long long while since i posted anything here. My banking law paper is approaching, my sister's wedding is coming up, there is a new addition to my already very big extended family and most importantly, i am attached.
Coming to two months now and all I am going to say is that I am currently very happy with the way things are, happy and contented. I sincerely hope that nothing big or drastic will come my way once again, like the last time i felt so blissful, i was hit by a really huge dramatic end to my then relationship.
Perhaps as the years go by, one becomes more aware of what s/he wants because of the experiences s/he goes through. I cannot say that i have seen it all, but I guess i have seen my fair share of what it can be like out there. All i can say is that, being brought up in a simple family, I've always believe that family support is important for one to be successful. And when it comes to family, one must be contented with what s/he has, then it'll be a closely knitted and strong family.

With so many things happening in my family, good and bad, I just feel more and more fortunate to have them as my family members. It can be really difficult to be there for someone unconditionally but my family, esp my aunts and uncles, just manages to. The way they stand by each other is one which I seldom see in other families nowadays, to be available 24-7 to care for them and their spouses, to worry about their health, to take care of them emotionally and offer financial support. These might be obvious when everyone is still living together but not when everyone has already gotten married and moved out.
Of cos such love can have its down side. Over whelming love from your family can cause too much stress. But one has to constantly remind himself/herself not to take his/her family for granted, to accept the love and try his/her best to reciprocate.
I guess i've been spending too much time at home to observe all these...
Back to work.. Shall update again soon...

wr

Somewhere Only We Know


I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?