HAhahah a 4 hour badminton session with adssians!!! Super tiring but fun!!! We must do this more often k? Mayb we play in adss' free court and now we've payed for the shuttles den might as well make full use of it :)

Anyhow, i had a great great great day yesterday, albeit tiring. It happened so fast, just zoomed past me. Two things that made it less perfect, i couldn't really catch up at my hip hop class and the dance floor at MOS-Smoove was too packed to do any decent dancing...

Rahzzz... Need to go print my notes and clean the house before another happening day starts again..

Live Fast, Die Young..

WR

Hey hey hey!!!!
Coach a small group of girls hip hop for a small time competition and they got third!!! It really feels different to sit there and watch them dance on stage... Even though it wasn't perfect, perfection wasn't what i wanted to see. As much as i complain it was difficult to help them, i was very very pleased and happy to see what i saw.. Them putting into practise what i've said. A combination of my minimum coaching, their hardwork and their creativity.. It was rewarding and i guess that is what 'Paid by passion' means...

Was offered to go back to relief teach on my free days and i took it up. So on tues and fris, whenever they need relief teachers, i'll be on top of the list. :p I wonder if that's a good thing. I still need time to study!!!

Anyway i've got to go out soon, a power packed day today. Badminton, dance, clubbing. :) Will upload the pictures if there is any!!!

signing off..

"A man can kill and still be the sweetest person..." -Buses and Trains (Bachelor Girls)
There's no logic to love someone, it isn't math, one plus one might not give you two.. When it comes to matters of the heart, the brain takes a backseat. No matter how difficult it is for the bystanders to understand why are you involved with this person, to you, it may be the most natural thing in the world.
The person may not even treat you well now, but you continue to hang on with the hope that the past memories will come back again. All that was shared between the two of you, others cannot and will never understand.

Today's entry is dedicated to a dear friend of mine:

Dude,
There isn't right or wrong anymore, but you know you don't want to continue hurting yourself. I told you before, if it makes you happier to continue, you should go ahead. But when everything is becoming a toil, then there no longer is a point to it, am i right?
It actually hurts that people who are closest to you, what you are doing right now. I feel a sense of helplessness, not knowing how to help you, because you refuse to help yourself. On one hand, i know i should let you be, sooner or later you'll walk out of it and all i can do is listen. On the other hand, i cant help but wonder where is the guy that i know three years ago? That guy with a strong character, who din give two hoots about the world... I guess maturity comes at a price...
But you know what? We're going to stand by you no matter how stupid you are now, alright? You'll definitely walk out of it and it is your choice how long tt's going to be. And at the end of it all, i'll take this out in the future to laugh at you !!! hAHahh You know i will do that :)

Take good care dude. Buzz me some time

WR

《简简单单》林俊杰
[我们的]昨天就像飞机
穿过我的窗口
我什么都没有
我摊开了双手
你予取予求
直到你想自由

痛苦的时候我不会闪躲
就像树叶甘心为春风坠落

只是简简单单的爱过
我还是我
简简单单的伤过
就不算白活
简简单单的疯过
被梦带走
当故事结束之后
心也喜欢一个人寂寞

Finally found a song that really describes how i feel right now or maybe some time later..

[温]

Oopz i did it again.. Dun have to say much, it was either i come home before them or i come back after they sleep. I conveniently chose latter. :P mom seems to have given up on me, because i only have one missed call this time.. Sigh i really have no idea what is happening to me...

I'm really hungry now!!!!!! Rah.

Going back to adss later to see my beloved 2t2.. Wondering how are they doing. heard my PO friend took over my timetable. hahahah Jerry and gang would love it because they call him Lao Da! Need to go back help my uncle do his robotics stuff as well... Like a free lance teacher. Damn...

I haven got much to write..


爱情啊
原来是个精心设计的网
每个人都被安排为莫个人受伤
他出现得太早
而我来得太晚
有一天你也会有我这种遗憾

-=最爱的人不是你=-

温

When i see her anxious face, so afraid that my dad would find out that i returned home late yet again, I felt a sense of guilt.. Something that i haven felt for a long time, or perhaps something that i tried to brush aside for the longest time. I guess even though i hate the control they're exercising on me, i have to oblige.. I'm bowing down because i don't want them to quarrel because of me. Because i don't want mom to be in that difficult position, to help me cover up and worry for me at the same time.. Because i know they love me.

I really have no idea what has gotten into me. I want to be out there, to play, to enjoy the company of my friends so much. I want to forget about what is it to be the old me. To be someone that is more energetic, see more things, laugh about things.. to have a more exciting life before it is all over. Before i have to say "okie destiny, take control of my life" "work, here i come" "goodbye sleep". Before i have do more of what they expect of me and less of what i want to do. Before i have to get married, work and lead a boring life like the rest of those who were borned a few years earlier than me right now...

I guess everything that i'm doing, is sort of my way of saying "I refuse to conform like the rest of them" To be in a relationship, as long as the guy is passable, then wait a few years to get married and get a HDB flat. Then give birth to a kid before i'm 30 years old.. Afterwhich, every little bit of love between the couple will be used up, all the attention will be on the child and how to finance the family.. The love between the couple stop developing, they become more like relatives than lovers.. Sex becomes a ritual, or an avoidable topic. Dating means diapers and milk bottle. Weekends become in-laws-days. Everyday talk about what school to send the baby, what tuition the kid needs, how much are the bills, dad's birthday is here again...

It scares me... Or perhaps what i don't know actually is the most scary. I forgot how does it feel to love someone so much you wanna marry him/her. How long has it been? 3 years? Or maybe i'd rather not ever to meet someone like that again, or someone who makes me feel like that again.. The one and only time i truly felt i've found that someone.. Maybe i was naive, still fill with fantasy about 'love'... Maybe it was real. I'd never know :D

What i am doing now, i have no idea. For the fun, for the time, for i'm still young.. I do not have a good explanation. I refuse to stay in line, i don't want to be proper. because at the end of the day, all that you've give, it wont be rewarded. Now is what you have, what you can be sure of.

The old cycle.. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Boy likes girl, go after her with flowers and movies, tell her he loves everything about her. Girl start to like boy, they got together. Boy starts to complain about everything the girl was before and more, but they hold on still. Until they decided it is too difficult to continue... 3 times of this is enough.

If i already know the outcome, at least i can fully enjoy the process without worrying about it. Tt's why.

-rang wo xing dong de ren-

Too many late nights recently has resulted in cold treatment from a few of my family members, daddy especially. I really wonder why is it such a big deal when it comes to me? My sisters can stay out the whole night and still be fine, while i receive at least 3 miss calls and 2 sms from them. I know they care about me, and i can't seem to put my finger on why i feel so strongly against it. Or perhaps it is a post adulthood rebellious phrase. :p

Or perhaps i just can't be bothered to please them anymore? I remember telling my mom one day "You always telling me about what you like me to do, you ever wondered if i like to do it?" Just because she doesn't like me doing it, does it mean i shouldn't be doing it? Well, granted that she has her reasons for feeling against it, but i can judge for myself, right? I mean i'm living my life, not a continuation of her life. I need to experience it myself, to know that fear, right? Stupid but this is life. Detour but that's why life is exciting! If you always simply listen to how travelling is dangerous, would you know that the world out there is so big and wonderful?

I guess for one period in your life, you need to do all you can, play all you can, live your life, do all the crazy things. Don't give yourself any chance to regret once you becomes immobile, etc. I wanna walk out of the days when i sit there and listen to my frens' exciting lives when they were younger. I want to be able to contribute, to be able to find such a group of friends, that when i'm 30, i still see them. Hang around and talk about the good old days or even having fun then!

That's about it.. Need to go back to studying.. As much as i wanna play, still gotto graduate :P

Love Y'all!

WR

Sch just started yesterday. Had my first two seminars of the semester.. Pretty fun but my day ended at 930PM!!!! That aside, it feels good to be studying what you have chosen instead of those compulsory modules. Plenty of fun, claire came to crash my class (prob not because of me...)i dozed off in class for the first half an hour, and counting down to 930.. HAHAHA I had to turn to caffeine for help. There is a reason why they put coffee vending machine along the corridors.. My very sweet lecturer decided to let us off 1 hour earlier on our first day, and half an hour early for all subsequent lessons.. Now dat's what i call a caring teacher. :p

Well, the 1 hour early release din really help, since i was meeting a friend at 930pm. So i sat in sch cafeteria with a not-so-close friend, waiting as the cleaners stacked all the chairs and tables around us up..

Anyhow, my new campus is still renovating. I'm going to die of inhaling too much dust very soon.. But i like it, even though we're using the most modern building there. HAhahah The trees, the buildings, the grass just make everything better. So much better that i'm going back to school today even though i have no lessons. No lah, i'm not tt crasy. I need to go back to photocopy my readings :p HAHAHA

LAter people. Love yall.

WR

oH NO!!!! sleepless night... Gonna be a panda tml when i go sunset bay tml :O

Hahahah my friend told me to update my blog more often, but that definitely is not the reason why i'm here blogging.. Sleepless because i've tot a new business idea that i feel is very viable.. :p Hence the excitement.. You know the kind of feeling when the ideas start rushing to your head? You think about everything and anything that concerns the potential venture, the people to approach, the questions to ask, even the kind of uniform for your employees.. Darnz, this is getting out of hand..

Btw, i sprained my ankle yesterday (technically it was the day before yesterday since it is alr 6am in the morning...) yeapppp.. stupid me simply fell on my own while playing bball with my friends. Actually i wasn't really playing, just making a fool of myself, but they were very nice people who continued to entertain me :p hahaha. And if you guys were wondering, NOpe, i did not sprain my ankle on purpose just to get out of the game.. Hahaha Lousy as i am, i still wanna play. Otherwise, how am i going to improve?

Other than the stupid fat ankle, that has earned my a new nickname, zhu jiao rong (pig leg rong).. I was confined to my house so that i will be well enough to go sentosa today. My good friends actually brought lunch to my house!!!!! *touched... (tears rolling down my cheek)
Dudes, i'll never forget the duck rice, long gan drink and orange, even though the latter two were on the house (haha literally, taken from my house but served by them :D)

The best part was that even though i couldn't join them for the cycling trip, with or without my ankle (because i have no bike...), hahaha it was actually arranged for me to have dinner with them before the trip and supper after the trip.. There was a lorry to pick me up after tuition! *sob sob* they make my closest friends before them look like acquaintances eh.. no offence :p Jus an analogy.. K perhaps it is just me. Maybe everyone has such good friends, i have been a hermit..

School is starting on monday.. To everyone and anyone who cares, I have lessons only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. TT's right, i have a so-called three-day week. But i doubt it is desirable.. i might simply waste the two days off away, and wake up one day and find that i'm going to be a law sch drop out :p Hmmmm but anyway, i've got all my first choices of electives.. Which seems to be a sign that lady luck is finally smiling at me since i joined law sch. I suspect it is the change of campus to bukit timah? I probably shld stay at bukit timah if i buy a house next time.. Good feng shui for me. :D Then again, i won't know how good i like it there until the term is over. Better not speak so early :(

Hmmm, what else do i wanna talk about other than i cannot sleep? *looks around* oh yeah, it seems to be the "break up" season now.. Many of my friends have broken up, mostly guys.. Okie, that didn't sound right. Let me rephrase, most of my guy friends have broken up, but i'm sure there was an equal number of girls who broke up.. Hahaha.. One of them is even proclaiming that he wishes to stay single for the next 5 years.. makes me wonder about myself. Just the other day, i actually had a feeling i'll simply stay single for the rest of my life ;)

Reason? Simple, it is too troublesome to get into a relationship, get used to another person, otherwise break up. The meaning of relationship is becoming more and more blur to me. Funny how it was so clear when you started your first relationship? but as time goes by, the more relationships you have, the less clear why are u getting into a relationship? Again, perhaps it is just me.. Relationship doesn't have a meaning anymore. Marriage is no longer a must in this era.

Someone ever questioned me, "Why do people get married?" For companionship? To carry on the family name? So that you have support when you grow old? Social pressure? Or love?
The first 4 can't really persuade me... Companionship - just because you are afraid of being alone, you wanna tie urself down? Why not get a dog.. at least a dog wont fight with you over the remote. Family name - doesn't apply here.. I doubt my husband will let our kids take my surname.. Security - I have CPF remember? PAP has arranged it for me alr, my beloved mother has also made known that the flat will be left for the spinster.. Social pressure - See no evil, hear no evil..

Well well well, as for love. Wat is it about love that two persons have to tie the knot instead of simply being together? U want him to "belong" to you "forever"? I guess love can also be used against marriage. If there is "forever-love" then what is the point of tying the knot legally? By putting the ring on his/her finger, there seems to be a sense of insecurity, that perhaps love isn't strong enough to keep him/her by ur side..

Yeap, skewed, extreme, cynical, skeptical, jaded. I can't deny those are what i am at the moment. But no, i'm not speaking with sacarsm. After a few years in marriage, the couple becomes more like family love than romantic one. When love becomes just care and concern, can i handle that?

unlike my friend, i shall not predict what will happen in the next 5 years. The only thing i know is that right here, right now i wanna enjoy myself. Be happy now, the present is what i can see, hear and touch.

We'll worry about the me in the future when future comes around :D

Guys, life will only get better from here k?

-wr-

Moolas with spirited away vcd (Original)... 

MooLas 

hoR!!!!!! GW!!!! 

guess what am i doing!? 

heezzz Zi lian....  

Fireworks!!!!! Eh where huh? 

YoYoYo,
People, finally i'm back blogging again :D
Lol, this must be the ten thousandth time i'm saying this, but i'm going to say it anyway "doubt anyone is reading this"

Heezzz Jus uploaded a couple of pictures taken of my kakees in ADSS!! Great pals who run with me, play table tennis, eat lunch, drink coffee and lots more stuff to come!! The ice cream picture was taken today when i took MC from school. They have very kindly sent me the picture so that i wont feel so left out :p Darn. I want my ice cream too!!!

was a good day today. Slept at home for half a day then went to meet a long lost fren from JC.. Funny how after all this time, we still have things to talk about. Talked about mutual friends, our lives now, the world.. Pretty depressing stuff, but still, i'm glad i'm slowly finding my friends back :)

Ever wondered how one's values actually changes as one grows older? Many things become dispensible, your sense of right and wrong actually changes.. no longer is it black or white, love or hate. There comes a time when you realise there is a wide spectrum between the two extremes, and you're always hanging there, in the middle.

Rather, you start to tell urself doing certain things isn't as bad as it seems. Reasoning it, giving urself excuses to go ahead to do it... Trying very hard not to be the bad person that you know very well u are.

I guess i'm not making sense to anyone out there :p

Later Peeps.

WR

Party World!! 

Ice Cream session without ME!!!! 

Whoever that did that research which concluded that there ought to be no corporal punishment on students, obviously did not try to teach English to a bunch of 40 NT students. For those of you who have yet heard, I took up a relief teaching job at one secondary school. It has successfully confirmed that I was in delusion all these while. All the "teaching - changing lives", etc etc...

Being a teacher, you are forced to be nasty to the kids. Otherwise, they'll be pushing you over. Even when you want to punish them, they dun give a damn about you. "You, why are you walking around without permission! Stand at the corner" "Cher, why? Dunwan la, dunwan la, dun la cher" is a typical exchange between my students and I in class.

Teaching English has only added to the difficulty in maintaining discipline and image in front of the students. Being a relief teacher, i was merely told of the components of a NT paper and provided with some assessments to refer to. What to teach, how to go about it, was entirely up to me. My colleague who was there for the 1 month exp before entering NIE commented that "You are more like a full time teacher than those who are here for practicum." Hence, the lack of training and direction, I chose to let them practice on their assessment books. Which proved a disaster as they chit chat away in my lesson, sleep, walk around. I guess they only time when they are in complete silence is when my principal walk pass the class.

By the third day, i sent the whole class marching down to the general office. They din do much, but i guess it was time to tell them that i mean business. Even though on the way down, i have several students pleading with me not to go down, when they were downstairs, the same students were cracking jokes as i talked to them. I think give them a few more times downstairs, they'll walk out of the school right in front of me..

It has been a tough week, thinking of how to outwit them/ tamed/ gain their respect. But it is easier said than done. It is so bad that i'm beginning to question myself, how have i conducted myself to receive such treatment from the students. Except letting them do worksheets, i don't have much idea of what to do. Neither do they listen when i go through the worksheets..

With all that said and done, i guess some of them are still nice albeit mischievious. Like one of the most notorious kid in my class, he actually tried doing my work even though it was with much help from me. He still creates a din in class, make some noise, does funny things but i am still able to tolerate it. A few others who are touched by my gesture of providing them with fullscape paper.

And of cos, my sec 1 NT class. Initially they were so noisy, but somehow during mid-week, they started listening to me. That was quite a lovely experience.

1 eventful week which has ended with loads of marking and papers to prepare. Kind of looking forward to what can i do next week with them.. At the same time, having the pressure of stepping into that notorious class again.. The contradictions in life..

WR

so many things happened since sch ended but i really din feel like sitting in front of the comp and listing them down.. Partly because i dun have the patience and also because i noe not many people are interested. :p hahaz I guess i still prefer to whine by talking face to face instead of through blogs... Good old traditional me. ;p

Well first and foremost, i was hired and fired within a span of three weeks. All i can say is that admin job hates me, my supervisors too.. Being meticulous is something i'll never be acquainted with.. Not even slightly. and from the comments of my guy friends - i need to go army to learn how to lobo (Act busy). My supervisors felt that i was stressing them out because i kept asking them for work to do.. So many things happened there that i don't wanna spend my time typing them here... Just hate a job which has a supervisor treating you as machine or a non-living thing by not even acknowledging your existence outside of the cubicle; always telling me that they're too busy to give me something to do; giving vague instructions...
I'm at fault too lah sometimes. But i still maintain that my biggest mistake is not knowing how to look busy. Darn..

Yeap, even though i was sacked, i had a superb weekend.. Went to venn's chalet on friday night.. Took so many silly photographs, saw so many ex-sn girls whom i've lost contact with and got to know venn's friends who were pretty entertaining.. din sleep much thou cos i was made to sleep in between to beds which were joined together.. Woke up bright and early to eat breakfast and lost money at the mj table to venn's friend.
ahhaha Den my busy saturday began.. Met my lil aunt for lunch and manicure.. afterwards i went for my dance class and then i met chinwan & shannon to go junhong's house for overnight mj session..
And i lost all my chips and had deficit summore at the end of that session... Lucky jh told us to take the money and take cab home :p anyhow qt paiseh for not paying him.. guess will have to treat him a meal someday.

And aft that mj session, i came back ys bk to eat breakfast with my yj friendS!!!! hahahaha just talk crap in bk as usual... a lot of catching up and more army stuff but it was good to finally meet up :D

So now i highly deprived of sleep and almost going to KO...

Till i wake up...

ciaoz