our PM said on his may day rally, people who migrate cos they think the grass is greener on the other side, will look back and regret...
seems like there's alot of pple leaving singapore, in hope of a betta future, a more condusive environment for children etc...

personally, i have never tot of migrating to other countries. firstly cos i dun have the means haha. secondly, i believe that there are still some good left in singapore worthy for me to stay, that outweighs the dislikes i have of singapore... but aft last week.. i tot probably i was wrong...

the reason why i neva tot of moving to other countries is because i had feeling for singapore. it is a place i grew up in, and still growing in. my love ones are here, i became who i am here, it has got most efficient pple ard, it is clean, has got good food. it's all de emotional stuff...

however the things that i dislike seems such a long list now... from the nan chiau high principal incident, made me realised that the system that we tot was good is crumbling from within. there is even talk about teachers not to scold student too harshly nowadays because too many children (i consider the teens nowadays as children becos of their imaturity) are commiting suicide...

so are we expecting the students to have self-discipline since they were babies, from parents who only spend less than 10 hours with the children each day?? even the most un-educated noes that without military force (including the police), the government cannot work, the laws in a country cannot function. so may i know how is a teacher suppose to work without at least the most basic punishments such as scolding and canning? i'm not suggesting canning for anything and everything that the students does wrong, but i trust the teachers to make that choice if i'm sending my children to sch for them to educated because i happen to believe in the long forgotten saying 'spare the rod and spoil the child'.

if it is strict rule abiding people that our education system needs and looking out for den i shld assume the interviews for teaching scholarship is asking the applicant to memorise a thick MOE rule book, and then test them at the interview on how much they can rem, taking in those that can memorise the most. why bother to ask pple what views they have of education, what they plan to do for the system and see if they have the leadership qualities. i see no relevance of the questions to the kind of pple they nid!

i tot during the FTA talk, there was talk about negative listing of rules, only say what is not suppose to be done, the rest by default can be done. why isn't this applied in most situations?

i believe that education is not jus about academic results. it is about teaching them self-discipline, what can be done and what ought not to be done. if parents are so worried that their children are bullied in sch by teachers, or teachers punishing their precious kids wrongly or too harshly. i suggest to these parents to teach their own children at home. i have seen cases of parents not being able to take their children in hand, if they still refuse to stop over protecting their children while they are in school, what is goin to become of these children?

it is understandable that under such high costs of living environment in singapore, most families need to have dual income. thus less time can be spent with their children. isn't this the reason why schools are keeping the students later and later jus in case they loiter ard too much and turn to bad company (as suggested by my GP teacher)? so if the children are spending more time in sch, with teachers and friends, shldn't we trust the teachers abit more if we nid them to teach our children values and discipline?

i have a fren who always tot that if one has to change the system, if one sees a flaw in a system, that change has to come from the top. thus one has to work to the top, and make the change. but lately, my fren and i found it to be untrue. when a system crumbles from within, no matter how much u feel for it, no matter how much u wish u could do something, there's no way to help. esp when u feel victimised by the same flaw. in the end, these pple either leave after being too disappointed by the system or simply go with the flow, "if you cant beat them, join them" isn't it? i mourn for the system, for losing capable pple everyday, for making these pple lose hearts, for showing all the others who dream of making changes to forget about it...

at this rate, growing is out of question, being stagnant would be lucky, goin backwards is most probably what's gonna happen to our country.

i hope and pray that our leaders are goin to wake up their idea, open their eyes. if they are not goin to do something to their system to stop these dynamic pple from leaving, i hope then, they live to see how the country crumbles.

i hope it occurs to our leaders that perhaps some people are not leaving because they feel the grass is greener on the other side... perhaps it's because they dun wish to see how their beloved country continues to disintegrate...


i still love singapore.
for being my homeland.
i still think there's hope... for now..
but there's only a limit to how much a person can do and hope for...

jus recieved an email and ecard from a family fren..
news spread really fast huh?

lol, was reading my entries, wonder if i was trying to convince others i'm fine, or am i trying to convince myself?
hee heez.... ponder ponder...

' i'm looking for a place
serching for a face
is anybody here i know
cos nothings goin rite
everythings in a mess
and no one likes to be alone
is there anyone trying to find me
wont some body come take me home

is a damn cold nite,
trying to figure out this life
wont u take me by the hand take me somewhere new
i dun know who u are
but i
i'm with you...
i'm with you....

heyyy
why is everything so confusing,
mayb i'm jus out of my mind
yeah...
it's damn cold night
trying to figure out this life
wont u take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
i dun know who u are
but i
i'm with you...

take me by the hand take me somewhere new
i dun know who u are but i
i'm with u..."
avril lavigne - i'm with you.

some parts really suits me, everything's a mess
haha but dun think i nid someone to take me anywhere,
i'm fine where i am, physically and emotionally, mentally as well
i dun believe in depending on anyone now.
becos as i said, no one will be there for you forever.
i'm not tryin to be cynical, but it is a fact.
=)
lalalalallala

"....not a penny in our pocket but that's alrite now,
strumming all de guitars
all de gers say we rock it
feeling hot now
working on a sun tan we dun even try to block it
and it's hot as hell
but we dun care
cos we dun have to go no where
we're jus chilling day by day...

walk along with me
walk along with me
wont u walk with me
walk in harmony
walk along with me
walk along with me
wont u walk with me
walk in harmony

i still believe
i can FLY
i'll get higher and higher
i will be free
i will FLY
HIGHER AND HIGHER!!!!!!!!!!

higher and higher...

chilling out, having fun
tripping on de good times
hanging with the gers now in the hot sun
strumming on the guitars
acting like a rock start
mama always say baby gotta go real far

crazy life catch a ride
gotta go round the world and see de flip side
you and me
cant u see
we're everything we nid to be now now....."

hahaha
love this song..
jus makes me feel really happy...

lalalalallaal, lonely lonely nite!!!
roaming ard online!!!! hahahahha
my icq not working. wonder what de heck happened. =p

gotta download msn. wonder who can i add~?
LOL... k lah.. got to get a life mah.. so must have another way to chit chat with my new frens yah?
hmmm

thinking of what other things i can do to keep myself occupied.
i wanna go tanning tml!!!
gotta go for written test tml..
and moreover, think i gotta rush back to sch for de facilitation tml..
i think mr ng is very angry with me
=p
oh oh.. i find myself damn irritatin as well
hahaha

lalalalallal
sing a happy song...
waiting for my msn to finish downloading...
lalalallalala

first day in 4 months i am not talking to him on de phone..
hahaha.. wonder what this means.
den are we still frenz? can i still believe what he said when we broke up? when we were together?
i shld not doubt... but i cant help, from what he said, how he said it and how he is acting.

i think i'm damn dumb...
i heard de phone ring jus now while i was having my dinner nex door, and i stupidly tot it was him... so i msg him "i'm having dinner now, call u later?"
and he reply "i'm goin to sleep already, good nite. i have to wake up early tml"
hahaha
damn stupid rite?

i think i shld stop seeing me as a victim man..
it's natural wat, since we're not together, why de heck spend precious sleeping time on me? LOL..
so yah.. painful or not, sad or not , it's goin to be the way things are, the way the world works.

=p

hrm...
de interview was alrite, came out quite fast as well...
they were rather friendly, not like the other groups who said it was very drilling.... sigh i jus hope the test tml is not as tough as what they said jus now...

yeap, raining like cats and dogs now... it's been raining since this fateful monday... it was like raining for me? hahahah i mus be crasy to think of it this way...

din have any brain exercise today, was sleeping str8 aft i came home... sleeping is de best remedy for everything. cough, flu, sadness, nervousness, hahaha u name it, u've got it...

but something really happy is that i manage to get back onto the team! becos someone wanted to quit it... i thank my lucky star for coming back today... i am really thankful... but that also means i cannot take my 400 bucks back... hahah and perhaps some other things as well... but to hell, i nid to fight for what i want.

i wanna thank de expedition leaders, Mr Ng Ping Hwee and Ms Lydia Lim. and really apologise to them for causing them so much trouble. as the chinese saying goes "if someone help u alittle, u ought to help them with all u can in de future" yeap, so i hereby promise that thru out the trip, no matter what they ask me to do, i'm gonna do it well willingly... whateva it takes.

i think it's pple like this tat really brightens up life. that really inspires and encourage one to live life to de fullest, rather than wallow in self pity.. thou i'm still abit unstable now, i think i can handle things more or less le... life still has to go on yeah? the world will still go round and round... and he has already told me his mind is made up... so i gotta get a life and make it interesting. =)

yeap, my sister say i shld pick myself up.. no matter what... it scary to face the world myself, but i cannot depend on him in de first place. like my unker puts it, it's like the moon being bright only because of the sun... and i'm pretty sure i'll have a great life ahead of me, a great, exciting story that is only written by me. for me to explore with choices and everything...

it still hurts, no doubt.

but time will do its job. it's not the first time anyway.

it was beautiful. so far the most beautiful one. i'm glad it happened. i'm glad i had the chance. i'll never regret it, even thou it's really painful when u lose it.

hahaha life will have to go on.

=p

hey hey~
gotta go for interview later.. think i'll most probably flunk this one.
totally no idea
my reasons for reading law is super weak...
i dunnoe what to write damn it...

argh.
sigh...
"there she goesssss, there she goes againnnnnnnnn racing thru my brainnnnnn"

i'm in a MESS. one big mess!
wish me best of luck....
gotta go change

I MISS YOU!
MISS YOU MISS YOU MISS YOU!
but you will neva see!!!!
and will neva noe
=p


i'm a sad panda....

wr

i miss my peaceful days, this week is de most difficult for me..
i hate my life.
god, i'm losing almost everything except my family...
i rephrase that, i still have my family after losing everything...
my most precious asset now...

sigh, so i cant let them down.. no matter how tough time is, no matter how much i have to smile inspite how broken i am... becos i'm only left with them....

nid to occupy my time...

jus read de news about the principal quitting the sch to apologise for having 'beat' the female's student's head with an exercise book... apparently, the principal is very well-liked by all the other parents and students and many are pleading him to stay...

jus what is happening to the society?

i cant help but ask this qn aft reading the article. from the report, i gathered that the principal is most probably a really good principal who really ran the sch well. i ASSUME his superiors has forced him to quit with all the attention of the media on him. even if they did not make the principal leave, looking at the situation, why had they not make him stay?even with the parents pleading him to stay, i think it's most probable that he'd still have to leave, cos someone has to be the scapegoat for the incident and put a fullstop to media's probing. den time will come in to let pple forget the issue...

i'm really disappointed at how the issue is being taken care of. is this how our "forward-looking" ministry tackle issues when it involves media? is media's attention more important than a good principal? WHY ARE THEY LETTING SOMEONE CAPABLE LEAVE JUS BECAUSE THE MEDIA MADE A BIG FUSS? where are their priorities?!!!!

i believe principals are the soul of the school, as they are in-charged and decide the directions and programmes that runs in the school. they will be the ones making the plans, working with the management and teachers for the better education of the next generation. not only that, a well like principal leaving the school will only hurt the school's morale and the school has to start adapting to a new principal's style all over again.

this incident will also affect the whole system. with this incident, many students will jump at the chance to challenge their teachers, principals, hods wateva. not only will they get all the attention that kids nowadays crave for, they feel good being able to challenge the system. how many teachers and principals or wateva are goin to quit then?

moreover, learning from the incident, other educators are only goin to be FAR TOO CAREFUL with the students. if any slightest punishment has to go to the police and media, who will take up the responsibility of educating the kids? come on, parents, wake up ur idea, ur children are not a bunch of angels... they still nid some scolding and punishment. i'm not encouraging physical punishment, but some pple jus nid to learn things the hard way, isn't this reality?

what i'm most disgusted with is our forward looking ministry let capable pple leave while protecting the lousiest teachers i've ever met... (personal note) the problem of bureacracy? think it's internal diseconomies of scale man...

all i can say is, i see the system rotting from inside out.
even if u wanna help the youths today, u dunno where to start.
i'm beginning to lose faith...

adults are a bunch of contradicting iderts, who says all kinds of things to save their own asses.

i regret stepping into young-adulthood. i'm most ashamed to be called that.

i'm losing faith in the world.

reading news everyday jus reenforces that tot, feeling helpless when u see the whole world disintegrates...
i'm disgusted, utterly disgusted...

sigh.
i nid to find a religion...

i learnt something yesterday.
in fact alot of things.
too many to digest.

i only learnt yesterday that life is very very very unfair.
due to someone's angst (wonder if i spell it rite) in a blog, i was made to drop from de expedition. not given a choice, not given a chance to defend my cause, not given a chance to prove myself. i had no choice but to drop myself. jus becos someone felt too much for an issue and post it on a "self-proclaimed-not-frequent-by-many" blog. but even thou so, i cant kick a big fuss out of it. it's not an option to defend myself, it'll only make the issue snowball and get more pple involved... i cant even scold de bitch or bastard for making that comment that cost me the expedition. i cant even stand up for myself. it is that that makes all this impossible to swallow.

when pple write in their blog, knowing it is visible to the whole bloody world, why cant they jus practise abit more maturity, caution and put abit brain to it. it's not call WORLD WIDE WEB FOR NOTHING. of cos everyone is entitled to their views, but can their views be a little less extreme? causing a big hoo ha without themselves knowing it. yup, if they neva know, neva think, how would they know what they say can hav such repercussion?
but i'm jus pleading the whole wide world, all the bloggers to write with caution.

think for a sec, if you were put in my position, will u hate the person who wrote it? but i dun hate him/her for a sec, not trying to be noble, but aft reading all that he/she wrote, it's jus trying to give the world a piece of his/her mind, to make his/her thoughts known to the world. a channel for him/her to express him/herself. i have no position to hate him/her for that.

but he/she will neva noe what he/she has done. causing me so much misery, becos i'm forbidden to make known what i am being put thru because of that pathetically small paragraph.

i'm not trying to win sympathy here, but the expedition is something that i really have been looking forward to. i was prepared to work my heart out jus to make enough money to pay for it in full, when with the money i can go many other places. but it is the experience, the learning i can gain thru the expedition. people might mistake my intention, but i have a clear conscience.

u might think that if i have a clear conscience, why not continue? becos i happen to know that the world does not only evolves around me. i happen to understand that if i continue, i put others in tight position. i happen to know what repercussions will there be if i continue.

that is why i cannot allow myself to continue with my passion. i can sacrifice anything within my means to continue this passion for learning, but can i sacrifice others? is it rite to sacrifice others? years of education and i, myself, will not allow myself to do that.

that is why i am force to drop myself. and not able to defend myself. being treated more unfairly than a murderer, who has a chance to a fair trial. to be proven guilty. ME? i have to bow down to the situation, to stop the situation from getting out of hand.

perhaps i can go for other expeditions. but only i, myself, will ever understand the difference. aft knowing the expedition team for 3 wks, i really, really wish to see them thru the expedition, to see how they change from now to betta, from being ashamed to be in my alma mater, to being proud to be in it. to see a change in culture in my alma mater... to help them see a difference in themselves, that all of them still have a chance to become betta, to achieve what i failed to becos of my focus on academic results. basically to see my juniors develop as persons...

it's such a small wish, yet i'm not able to pursue it, not being able to make it come true jus because of someone's blog. because of him/her tryin to make a point, which has yet to be proven, thus costing me my place. yes, it's not even proven with evidence. and the situation is such that i have to give it up. give up something that i've been looking forward since last year dec. something i've worked so hard for. something i've been prepared to work hard for. something i see as a turning point in my life. something so small to others, yet to me, it is something i really value, and wish jus to be given the chance to complete it.

in the past, celebrities commit suicide because of rumours. jus to prove their innocence. isn't this another way of being wronged? wasn't this, when watching dramas and movies, people sympathize with those victims. WHY THEN, in reality are they putting others thru the same pain and misery of being wronged?!

anyway, as the movie 'love actually' puts it, the world is full of negative reports. we are too caught up with other people's ugly side, that we forgot the value of our good side. there are million of divorce cases happening ard de world, but have you forgotten that there are also million of pple still happily married aft 30 years. people are losing faith in humanity, becus they are desensitised by negative reports. sigh, can i blame them for seeing me in that light?

i'm trying to make a point here, i sincerely wish, hope everyone do some thinking when they wanna diss a person, a community, a country or post their views on certain issues. THERE ARE PPLE READING. and take responsibility for wat u post online. dun blame any one if you are de one getting de shit instead of others like my case. because if de shit is from you, u betta be able to get urself out of the shit.

sigh...
i really wanna go to the expedition, but even if given the chance, i cant now....

nobody's listening...
nobody will ever hear me cry for unjustice...

cheers

i think imaturity and words can really kill.
or at least hurt.

there are jus people out there that dun really grow up, or rather look at the world in different perspectives.
i've learn in my jc life that, many things may not seems rite from your point of view, but it jus is from another. it's all about perspective...
thou one person's words do not have enough impact, when a cohort of people voice the same thoughts, it can hurt someone.

this is de power of public.
it's always interesting to think about if we all tucked out our uniform at the quadrangle during assembly and refuse to barge, what can ganesh do?

it's funny,
but in a way, it can hurt really bad too.
jus imagine u are de object of discrimination by de public.
that wat u do is perfectly normal to everyone ard u but the majority.
in a society, u have to conform, to bow down to the majority...
and say that, 'i'm sorry i'm wrong' when wat u did was alright.

tyranny of the majority.

also, there are ppl who jus cant be bothered to understand others before making their comments. it's jus like seeing a couple quarrelling and immediately think it is de guy who is in de wrong.
it neva occur to these ppl that there are many different kinds of situations leading to de current one.
and the saddening thing is that, the crowd that likes to make such comments is a big group of pple...
this leads to tyranny....

sigh i dunnoe wat to say.
i feel very very helpless.
so not like me of the pass few months...

i'm goin into seclusion....
away from de public.
away from the tyranny and the ignorant crowd.
and be a coward.
i dun have de courage to stand out anymore.
this isn't pms.

screwed.

hmmm, jus got nus's letter for interview... i bet i'm de sec batch to be asked for the interview... anyway, have some homework to do now... lalallala and i'm like having headach everyday. wat kind of weather are we having? one sec it rains, the nex big sun... rah...

k.. shan't complain too much
oh yeah, did i mention i think i'm goin deaf.. my ear isn't working very well!!! arghhhh i'm dead! =p my left ear to be more specific.... oh no...
sigh....


nothing much.. nothin of substance. din't read anything at all today... a day of ignorance. let us feel blissful. it's like i dun read, den i dunnoe how bad de world is, den life is wonderful.. wat an ostrich...*digs hole*

dunnoe wat i'm talking about..
i'm hungry!!!
*dah*

hahahahha
i'm goin crazy....

cheers.
thinking is not sumthing i do at nite....

gd nite

jus went joggin with me little sister.. wahhh
tired
growing old le...
nothing much to write today.. super sleepy
*yawnz*
miss my frens...
hahaha
a few links for u all go take a look
very very dumb...

http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg002.swf
http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg003.swf
http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg001.swf
http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg004.swf
http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg006.swf
http://media1.bseven.com/flash/katong/tyg011.swf

dont do that Series...

wanna watch south park!!!
yawns
go sleep
good nite...

cheers

hey heyZzzz
oh yah. thank you to those who have been visiting my blog~
i'm really honoured
hahaha

oh yah, told my fren bout my last few entries and he suggested me to send em to the forum of TST... hemm i think not, cos i think my entries are too emotionally charged. anyway nothing of interest in the forum page today... except some students complaining de universities are not sending out letters of offer together, which makes it hard for them to decide.. goodness... even thou i'm also in a dilemma of choosing btw de course i like (physics) and the sch i like (SMU), i'm pretty sure i wanna go SMU... even thou i'm not confident of econs.. cos ultimately, i wan an education that develop me holistically, in terms of my confidence, public speaking, leadership qualities etc. not jus another place that i spend my next 4 years in. and as for no confidence in taking econs, everything will still depends on my perserverance.. sigh... but a tough life ahead man
hahahahah

haha anyway, there's this article bout china selling fake milk formula that caused the death of 9 infants... really scary the things that pple countefeit nowadays. even pirated milk?! and Mr armani on his recent visit to china actually bought a Gorgio Armani watch for US$27 hahah, however this rich guy said that "if someone copies you, its a compliment, it means that you've done it right. " this piracy industry in china is costing the chinese govt a huge amt of money annually. the chinese government is looking into heavier penalty to curb the problem.

looking at how big the piracy industry is in china, it is impossible to be dealt with by a single measure, by punishment. other than the soft social engineering method, education, i would like to suggest one other solution. to encourage the society to come up with their own big and small brands, instead of imitating others.
i think there is demand for such imitations is due to the fact that the products are really cheap and they look like de real ones. it is about the status and price. if chinese producers can come up with brands that can penetrate the overseas market and make it big, it will be cheap in china and they can wear it proudly.

secondly, since chinese are so patriotic as they claimed, liking things made in their country, then by all means have ur own brands of stuff and stop imitating other brands.

anyway, i believe that with their resources, if they wanna create a big brand, it's not difficult. they can make a killing jus by selling to all the nationalistic people in the country alone. btw>> i always have this idea that i can actually go ard china and collect jus one yuan from each chinese, by de end i'll be a billionaire.

oh yah, was reading a really overdue xing ming re bao (evening paper) jus now, (dun ask me why was i reading that, u dunwanna noe hahahaha) and there were actually 2 very different response to my fave topic, the pigswill incident! hahahah one was by a very famous DJ, Lin Anna, the other some anonymous person, very likely an old one. anyway, anna was talking bout giving others respect if you aspect others to respect you and that the younger generation for both countries are actually on par, when it comes to being spoilt and arrogant.(I TOTALLY AGREE) and the author with pen-name "wai wai" said something about all singaporeans being stuck up and we're jus descendants from chinese fishing and farming villages, there's really nothing to be proud of.

firstly, i wanna justify why i agree with Ms Lin on her point. China is still very strict with its one child policy due to a too massive population, it is very natural to dote on the one and only child. Moreover, it is not jus the parents doting on the child, this generation also has all of their grandparents attention. the only time they interact with other children is when they are at sch. and with so much attention on them, there is a relatively higher possibility to become more self-centred.

Personally, on my trip to China in 2002, i was arranged to stay in a foster home to understand de culture there. i had a very pleasant experience, my foster father being a doctor and my chinese fren was a very sweet, understanding, smart and mature girl. However, my frens had very different experience. seems like it was common to be rude to the parents and we had a cultural shock indeed. when all along we thought that chinese youths are suppose to be very filial. also in sg, the younger generation are being spoilt with material goods and all the attention they get from the elders. even if the parents wanna take their children in hand, the grandparents will actually cover up and protect the children. so when all you adults point fingers at the students being arrogant and spoiling the sino-singaporean relationship, please think of whether you have sent u nieces, nephews, sons and daughters big ang baos, toys, telling them they're de best in de world... yada yada yada... i agree that i might be generalising abit too much, but this is jus my experience.

anyway, as for the wai wai person, i'm sorry but i might get abit personal here. i hope i dun get to meet this person. from his point of view, singapore is small, little talent, little space for doin anything big and the weather here is too hot, and staying here too long will be boring. from this we can actually see he'smost prob is a chinese. i'm sorry our little country has failed to make u at home, this is singapore, not ur country, u see? i think we really regret to cause you so much inconvenience, so if you're so unhappy here, den why stay here? as he mentioned, many are using singapore as a springboard to make it to other countries or back to their own country to work, however, as i see it, with such attitude, where ever you land, it'll be de same all over.

i believe that if one does not see himself as inferior, others will neva be able to make them feel that they're look down upon. it's when u noe ur shortcomings that's when u think that u're inferior to others. so anywhere these ppl goes, they're bound to feel that they are being look down upon and not be able to be happy. another problem of pple with inferior complexity is that they tend to 'step' on pple in order to boost their ego, to show others that they are better. so if these pple happen to go back to their country, perhaps they'll be de arrogant and stuck up ones. they need a mindset change. Period.

we are indeed a small country, comprising of pple who are descendants of poor fishing and farming village, but today, i'm proud to say i'm a singaporean. of this small country that always strive to remain competitive. i believe its difficult to make it big here, working abroad is an option for most singaporeans, but there are also many who remain a singaporean. there are also times when i really disagree with some policy, such as our education system, but i believe the time of change has come. and no matter how difficult it is, we're goin to work thru it jus like de Sars incident. so perhaps my forefather is from China, but that doesn't mean we owe them anything.

sigh, i think i'm gonna start a new topic tml. i'm sick of tis topic. my conclusion, i only found out i'm so patriotic today. hahahahahha i love singapore! muacks and singaporean youths, let us work hard to make a betta tomorrow!!!!!!

"we are singapore, singaporeannnnnsssss...."
LOL

cheers

hMmm.. Somehow i cant really view my own blog ... so i'm sorry i cant reply all de tag board msges On the Tagboard itself..
NIang NIang: i'll reply on ur tag board. and why are u feeling like u've lost touch with the world? hmm? living in a cave ah?

Brother tonG: hey!! thankz for liking my post. anyway>> all the best to u when u go in. it's gonna be damn boring inside for u! hahahaha good luck bro!!!! hope u cont to frequent my blog ah....

LOL..
like some customer service... "qing duo duo zhi chi."

anyway>> i got into SMU econs as i asked for. now de prob is de fees... gotta check out fees and apply for loan and financial aid.. sigh.. is there any charity organization that helps poor students like me? i would really like something that works like NKF.. hahaha, with that amt of reserve i think they can send me abroad until my doctorate is done... and not jus me alone.. HMmmmm

oh yah.. my condolences to those pple who are not ard anymore or missing due to the collapse of nicole highway.. sigh.. wat a tragedy.. my sister was asking me de other day, if they continue digging for underground parking lots, tunnels, shopping mall... will de whole singapore collapse one day? technically speaking, i believe it wont happen.. but the thought of standing on hollow grounds sounds really scary...

was reading an article in the commentary section of TST (22/04) jus now.. it's about how media and government in china likes to publicise things in a way that makes their public feels that the whole world outside china is out to swindle and cheat chinese. some interesting examples are that the chinese media saying that the "junk clothes given to the fishing villages by the western countries are causing enviromental pollution" and "hollywood movies are invading the pure minds of china youths".

it is rather disturbing that such a fast developing giant still has problem letting go of the media. what kind of picture is it painting of the relationship between the world and china? perhaps i'm being overly concerned with the increasing amount of chinese tourists almost everywhere. as they leave their country, they will be able to see the picture themselves and judge the situation individually. what i am afraid is the pre-concieved perception they will have, thus treating almost everyone as enemy, out to harm them.

i cant help, after reading the article, but think about the episode of the whole "pigswill" insult. perhaps i should not take the above author's word for real, but if wat he said was really the situation, then why are we having chinese pple in singapore talking about 'free speech' ? blaming the media for sensationalisin their report? i apologise for bringing this issue up again, but it really bugs me.

i'm proud of me being a chinese. i have gone to the extend of disliking chinese who tells me they cant speak chinese. i'm from a chinese speaking family and i can say i'm proud to be one of the few surviving. perhaps i have so much to say about the many incidents of clashes btw china chinese and singaporean chinese is because i dun want chinese to be looked down upon, generally. however, from another article in commentary, the many chinese cultures that evolved around de whole world will neva be homogenous. For eg chinese singaporean has adapted to local lifestyle since our forefathers came to Nanyang. thou our values still pretty much evolve around honesty, integrity being hardworking etc.. we have diff ways of doin things, and looking at things. for eg, women in sg earn almost as much as males and it's generally accepted that women are as capable as men here.

the differences in perception btw the diff groups of chinese are bound to bring about conflicts in ideas. the solution to these conflicts is simply to understand. let us understand where they come from, understand that with the long history of china, the people are taught that they are descendants of dragons and deities, understand that as the country develops rapidly, the mindsets of the pple will change. and most importantly, understand that changing of mindsets needs time. with all that, we can only hope that they will understand us as much as we try to understand them.

the pple who insult us, they're not our enemy. but our friend. we learn to be betta, and strive to work harder.

well, i screwed my mass com interview..
rah.. but de snacks were quite nice.. got egg sandwiches and fried bun!!!
hahaha
yum yum..
could use a little snacks right now..

talk about snacks... i think i'm seriously growing fat...
as in SERIOUSLY, not de girlie thingy...
guess i'll have to start admitting i'm well over my puberty stage.. and start working out!!! again. SIGH...
come to think of it, i neva had high metabolism rate before... hahahah

hemmm
hahaha i shall come back later!!!

hey hey hey~!!!!
it's been a while~ again
hahahaha
anyway...
got mass comm interview later...
not prepared!
die...

was reading tongs blog and he was expressing his views on the china scholar scolding local youths that we're stupid and with brains full of pigswill..
well.. abit slow but yah... this is wat i gathered after reading the article.
i went to the webpage to have a look at the exchange of insults and apologies between (i assumed) students of the two countries. and saw a small article on this in our mainstream Straits Times, saying local youths should be more humble if we wan sino-singaporean relations to improve.

this is how i feel about the whole issue.
Firstly, the few chinese scholars keep harping on the fact that that was an informal webpage which allows individuals to express their views, and went on and on about free speech. Free speech, in singapore , means to express one's views without extreme emotions and creating social discort, neither can it be directed at certain race or religion. so is insulting singaporean youths considered "free speech"? even thou the webpage was an informal one, one has to be responsible to wat he/she said. a chinese saying "huo4 cong2 kou3 chu1" which means generally, conflicts begin with wat you say. by saying the webpage is informal will not excuse one from insulting and generalising the whole youth population in singapore.

secondly, they blamed the media in singapore for sensationalising things. pardon me, but i dun think they're born jus yesterday. which media does not sensationalize their reports to increase viewershipt. this is abit of generalising but everyone knows it. but if he did not make those comments, could the media have made anything out of it? moreover, as i rem, the Straits Times did not make a big thing out of it, it was only the Newpaper and the evening news. and aft reading them, they were partial and did not make any comments on the publication itself. so now our own media are not entitled to report pple of another nationality insulting us?

thirdly, we can deny that some singaporeans are lazy group workers, "complacent after achieving little things" (i quote). we, as singaporeans, meet these pple too. they are everywhere, even aft one start work, they'll meet such pple. SO LIVE WITH IT! instead of wanting the world to change for u, why not change something about urself? since u noe that these pple are lazy workers, work with someone else nez time. you are de one benefitting, isn't it? rem : the world does not change for anyone!

forthly, as my sister puts it, we have bad encounters with some chinese as well, so do we go ard and post it everywhere on the net? and slamming each and every chinese? i'm sure we dont. we learn to live with it and accept that there are bout to be a few black sheeps in the community.

fifthly, i agree with the straits times that local youths shld be more humble. and i advise local youths to wake up our idea, now that we are dissed by other pple. come' on man, are we goin to be looked down lydat? show it to them that we're not "filled with pigswill" HOWEVER, wat i dun understand is, the issue now is dat we're being dissed, and we have to be more humble ? somehow it jus reminds me of mothers beating children up when they are beaten up by other kids in sch...

sixthly, i am disappointed at some singaporeans response in the msg board there. they were childish and uncivilised that totally showed the chinese that we are what they said we are... i can only say "grow up"

and lastly, i think wat we can learn from this is to be responsible for wat we say. i think it is very important in the sense that saying things that are not processed by ur brain is goin to land u into big trouble. so much for singaporeans being the one fed by pig swill....


thats so much. i'm goin to interview, all de best to me!

Hehheh heh...
wonder if anyone read this anymore
LOL
but i'm goin to write anyhow.
hahaha

yup yupZzz
been lazing ard alot.
*looks ard*
dun really noe what am i busy with actually.
jus running here and there everyday...
and the bad news is i'm falling sick again!!!
sigh..
let's hope all de herbal tea i've been drinking works.

anyway>>
i think all my scholarship forms are in de rubbish bins now..
sigh..
gonna take loan from bank.
HATe the feeling of being in debt.
ARGH
anyway>> even if i make it to the interview, i might not make it after it.
sigh sigh sigh..
talk about no confidence in oneself.
rah...

hmmm
i think i really dunnoe what i wan to study..
my application forms for the 3 universities reflect totally different courses..
must be crasy.
which reminds me i have to pay the application fee real soon.
ARGH

oh yah. not forgetting kenna fly aeroplane by them yesterday..
initially goin to smu to pay de fees and hand up the documents.
those iderts flew me aeroplane, as usual. not like i haben done it to them. but i realised that mayb goin alone will be much much easier...
becos lately i realised that guys like to be late.
much later than me.
so i'm starting to wonder if they are putting on make up like why other gers are late.
hemmmm no offence bros!
hahahah

lalalalala...
i'm hungry
very hungry...
but noting to eat.
mayb can make a trip to macs
hahaha
miss mac breakfast.
BUT DAMN Ex..
sigh...
everything is money
step out the house only... money...
even at home u switch on the fan also cost money...
haiiiiiiiiii

oh yah.. miss bintan!
went bintan for 3 days.
hhahahaha k k call me swaku
but i neva seen such a nice beach in my life
really really blue and got waves! hahahahahha
can play body board. yeah yeah.. fun very fun
but very ex also
LOL
hahahaha

all de crap that i've been goin thru man..
anyway>> i'm single again! LOL.. wonder am i available
hahahahha
but i think i'm abit to happy to be single.
lalalalla
nah.. relationships not for me.
jus read a chn book about a few unmarried lady talking about love.
hemmm
haven really given up hope on love yet . but also not hoping much hahaha
lalalalla
life goes on~~~~
GRINZ

heh heh..
today is an important day of mylife....

not that i support using results to define one's success
but it's inevitable in singapore.

and i have proved myself worthy, to myself and all those who have looked down on me before.
more importantly, i'm glad that i have not let those who love me down, those frens who were with me thru the most difficult times.

thank you farmers, for the joy u all have brought me during our times studying together.
all de crap that we talk about...
without them, esp boss who went for econs with me as early as 8 to listen to mdm lee doin mcqs... set and bear to go back sch to study, most of de time end up talking... and de times we went over to set's house and wished our a's were over so we could really enjoy...

i missed those times.

i'm glad i've cleared this major hurdle in life....

one thing i've learnt... it's never the intelligence.. .. no matter how clever you are, you need hardwork and perserverance... i nearly gave way.. if i had not fell hard for my o's, i wouldn't be where i am today. i din want to fall again becos de pain, disappointment for me and my family was too great for me to take again...

anyhow... now that everything's settle... i can start drawing plans for future...

i'll always rem my life in yj.
the good times. the bad ones..
i've really learnt alot in yj.
thou i have been complaining about there ever since i got in, it had a major impact in my life.
thank you yj.

cheers

oh yeah...
i'm concern about something else as well...

was packing the papers in de tuition centre yesterday when a couple came, paying for tuition fees for their children.
boss: we're starting an enrichment course for children, teaching them things outside syllabus. you interested ?
mother: of co (somehow she misses her s-es and mispronouce her english words) do you have age limit?
boss: no lah. parents will decide when they want their child to start.
mother: oh that good. other places dun allow me to enrol my children. they say too young.
lady-boss: that's the thing they dun understand, it's never too young to start.
mother: yeah. they should start in kindergarden. i want to prepare them for the GEP examination in pri3.

....
my blood was boiling as i listened to their conversation.
my heart really goes out to those children who have their mondays to sundays packed, taking tuition for all their subjects, enrichment, piano, dancing drawing. believe me when i say the movies weren't exaggerating...

my boss was saying he has a class to teach pri 4 kids do algebra...
so i assume 2 years later pri 6 kids will be learning differentiation?
all for the sake of our GEP, accelerated programs, NUS school of Sci and Maths. for the prestige? to them it's to ensure a better future for their children.
but think again. a child who finished 20 years of studies in 15 or even 10 years, wat nez? will he be developed enough in other areas to ensure survival? or is his skills onli applicable to studying? did he have the time to learn how to socialise? to learn how to mingle around? to learn how to work with other people?
so what if your child noes how to do differentiation when he is 12 years old? if they're happy and passionate about learning all that is taught, i have no position to comment. but are they? or are they forced?

since tuition centres are offering such enrichment programs, and my tutor even told me this "if you teach slower than the sch, then you want tuition for wat?" which totally don't make sense to me.
TUITION, in the pass, is to help the weaker students understand what he is unable to grasp in school. IT was a complement to school.
TODAY, tuition is teaching all that the school teaches at a faster rate, and MORE than require. so today, schools are complements to tuition instead. our children go to school to socialise, to compare who has more tutors, how much are they paying and that they have already finish the syllabus in june.
So why send your children to school if you plan to give them all sorts of enrichment program . i believe those who can afford 400 a month for each subject can jolly well jus let their children take the exam without goin to school.
without goin to school, their children will have more time to schedule more lessons. now they can learn organ and piano, thou both makes no difference to me.
or are they treating the school as a child care centre, as they go work and earn more money to pay for the high tuition fees...
no wonder almost anyone with a degree and apply to be a teacher, cos nowadays, school teachers dun have to noe how to teach. parents will find tutors for their children, whether or not they need them.

no wonder everyone is becoming a tutor. it's a sunrise industry. and doubt it's setting for the next 10 years. the demand will always be great.

so i'll be looking forward to de day when a pri 6 kid can teach me how to do complicated trigo question and a sec 4 kid programming an operation system...

i jus heard someone questioned " with all the a's our jc students are getting, shouldn't we be having many einsteins and newtons in singapore?" i'm curious as well...

it's BEEN A LONG LONG LONG WHILE SINCE I UPDATED MY BLOG!!!!!
anyway it's been a while since i came online...
din really have time to come
cos de tuition centre i'm working for is opening another branch.
and the amount of papers i have to fotocopy for the new branch is.... DISGUSTINg...
it's till the point u get disgusted when u touch ppr when u get off work.
go figure.

yupz
and took up 2 tuition. both twice a week..
one pri 4 and another secondary 4.
rather taxing lately as the pri 4 ger is having her CA this week and the Sec 4 ger has tests every week.

that explains why i'm always unreachable.
and unable to come online to clear my mail and update my blog.

frankly, other than not being able to spend time with my frenz, my ever dearest farmer frenz and a couple of close frenz, i'm quite happy with my life. cos being busy makes me feel important.
more importantingly , giving tuition makes me feel that i'm helping someone else. hopefully i'm of help thou. tt's besides the point.
yupz, i enjoy being buzy. packing my day with events, it's definitely betta than lazing around at home looking at my toe nails grow.
=)

anyhow, the excitement of the news of releasing of results is wearing off. or perhaps my days are too packed to think about it. or maybe it's de assurance of the people around me. that i'm definitely goin into university, jus whether it's a good course or a bad one. seriously, i think i dun have anything to fred about, becos firstly, i dun have to worry if i'll be able to get a scholarship. as we all noe that that's somewhere near impossible. secondly, as bad as a CCC can get me into u. so frankly, everyone will tell me not to worry.
so i shld jus shut up and get on with life.
yupz, cos perhaps i'm in no position to get too happy or too sad.

life goes on.

yup yupz...

oh yeah...
just yesterday they annouce that one will only hafto take chinese exam in order to enrol into university. whether or not he passes is no longer in consideration, thou if one passes, he'll have points added to his raw score.
i really question this move that the moe is taking.
by doin this they'll onli re-enforce the idea that chinese is useless among the younger generation.
a student from hc was quoted saying the ministry should have annouce it earlier so that students could spend the time they used on chinese on other subjects.
what kind of mentality is that? i'm disgusted, even more becos she is from hc, which is suppose to emphasize on our values and roots.
you are a CHINESE and you think spending time studying the language is better off used on other subjects.
this clearly shows how distorted their thinking is already. they'd rather spend time on more pragmatic subjects.
sooner or later, we'll be telling our chinese fables in english.
and chang er will most probably get a christian name as the new generation will find it a hassle to try to pronouce her name. MARY CHANG?
apart from the economics value of mandarin, which i dun see at all when all china chinese are trying to hard to learn english. and many cases have proven that they believe that the grass is greener in the other side of the world. so much so that an oxford year 4 engineer student was able to bluff his way thru in beijing university as a lecturer for their masters students in economics. he finished 15 out of 16 chapters in a day, and he was scheduled to lecture for 3 days str8. no one questioned why he went so fast.
anyway, i digressed.
apart from the economics value of chinese, as chinese, i believe we should at the very least noe how to read, write and speak proper mandarin. personally, i'm disgusted by myself when i have to use english in between my sentences. i look down on myself, feeling like a half-breed, not here nor there. no offence. but thats how i see myself.
i was appalled when a student said that she was escalated at the news that chinese will not be taken into account for university enrolment.
and the thing is that i've never seen a malay speak to another malay in english and an indian to another in english. the pathetic singaporean chinese are the onli ones in the world, that needs the government to think of ways and means to MAKE them learn their mother tongue.
pardon me but i really think it's utterly PATHETIC.

i wonder ten years down the road, will Lianhezaobao be still around? by then, maybe liu bei and co. will also have a christian name...

hiak hiak..
i'm goin off soon!!!!
yupZzz
ermm
having fun
slacking
really bad for me..
but not for long
cos results coming out soon!!!
argh
i cant believe i onli got 1200 for my sat..
i'm angry with myself now
ARGHHHHH!!!!
to think dat i studied for it..

but wat is done cannot be undone..

yupz
so right now i jus hope i do well for a's.

sigh hope and pray..

anyhow>> my ex apologize for wat happen last time
haha
interesting
yupz
so.. i'm suppose to accept his apology
and i did.
wat is there to be sorry about anyway?
hrmmm

yup yupz
i'm goin off pretty soon

organizing a class gathering on 14th feb
let's hope most of de pple turn up!!!
*grinz*
hope it'll be fun!!!
hiakz hiakz

yup goin off now..
cheers