Me. Myself & i

well, this is going to be one of those random ranting entries.... but then again, what's new?

i've gotta reach school at 730 IN THE MORNING tomorrow. For those of you who thinks school has started for me, NoPE. I'm going back for FOC (freshmen Orientation Camp)... It's one of those effects of one pathetic mistake at one particular moment in time, which will continue to haunt me until i hand over. Actually i sort of made up my mind to make this a lasting experience for myself, but i guess God seems to disagree on that decision. During the dry run when all the in-charges are to be present to understand the games, i had to accompany my grandfather to the hospital for his medical report. If that is not enough, the doctors had to mess up the report by telling us it was cancer in the morning but TB in the afternoon. Therefore, i had to go back again on wednesday to make sure it was TB and not cancer. which effectively left me as a floater in the camp.
Anyway, i'll choose my ah gong over the camp anytime, anywhere. Family is definitely more important than any other things. :p I guess i'm just not destine to be involved in the camp. HAhHAh Moreover i don't like to do things when i'm forced to take part in it. Even though there isn't a black and white rule that MC members had to take part in FOC, they were hard selling the positions to us.. J even called me up to "ask" if i wanted any position when there wasn't much left. Haiz, guess i'm just not good at rejecting people. Took it up without any devotion, hence no ideas, therefore no contributions.
I guess i have to apologise for my more or less indifference towards the activities. All i feel when i'm there is to fulfil an obligation. There's no real sense of belonging towards both the committees. It is really sad, because i have been working with the MC for almost a year. Perhaps i never did try to mingle with them from the start. Anyway, the difference between us is something i experience with almost everyone in Law school, simply out of sync with them. Hence i guess it isn't the committee, it is just me. :p i'm de weirdo.

There are so many things happening around me.
Family's financial worries, my own relationship problems, my extended family also facing problems, my granddad isn't well, needs to go to the hospital now and then, my fren's problem..
they are mostly non of my business..
i simply cant help it but be bothered by them.

I think i've seen, heard and experience too much things during this holidays... To the extent i'm overwhelmed by them, always confused.. I'm getting lost in this world..
There's no longer right and wrong.
I no longer know what to do, to choose, to say..
Everything is happening so fast.
Why is it so difficult to communicate properly?

If only i can tell u what i want,
if only you can tell me what you really want;
if we all can be frank with each other, there'll be less problems in the world...

But do u really know what u want?

I nid a job for the next month.