Me. Myself & i

Ho Ho ho
Tml i will have to return to school. Sulkz. But you know what they say, you've gotta love going to school to get the grades. I guess i din love school that much for the past 1 and half years. ;P So, this sem, i will love school. I will love my books, love my readings and stop playing games.

Read so much about ambitions these few days and i did not deliberately search for these articles to read. Instead i came across them by chance. An whole 4/5 pages feature on Times and another small column in ST today (sunday btw). Did you know that it is natural instinct for humans to be ambitious? You know that by observing how a baby stands up after a fall from learning how to walk, and continue on his endeavour. But somehow, when the kid attends school, he loses that desire to become better, to reach out for the best, the never-say-die attitude. Experts explained that they learn to be satisfied with what they have and comply with the norm, everyone influences everyone else that mediocre is good enough.
I guess deep inside, everyone wants to think that he or she is ambitious and has a special thing inside himself or herself. I do. I always like to tell myself "if i want to do it, i can. Just when."
Well i guess the last sem has really proved me wrong. So wrong. I wasn't the genius that i secretly thought i was, even thou all along, experience have taught me otherwise. I chose not to believe.
I have neva manage to do well without hardwork. I was neva the kind of kid who can study last minute and pass with flying colours.
Today, one day before my school reopen, i'd like to admit to myself that:
1) I'm not a bright kid. I cant study for 1 month and top the class, be it primary school or kindergarten.
2) I have to work hard, even harder now that i'm surrounded by some of the smartest people in Singapore (excluding the medicine and overseas scholars).
3) I have to re-learn English.
4) I need to have more zest, live and organisation when i do things.

Time will fly pass sooner now, another 2 and half years, i will graduate from law school.
I went back to law fac the other day to accompany paul as he did his research. As i stood outside the lobby, waiting for him to pick me up, i looked at the words "CJ KOH LIBRARY". The memories of how i first step into NUS looking for the library for my interview came back to me. I remember i was in awe of the place, i thought to myself "how nice will it be if i were one of them". And how i haven't achieve anything since i started law school, tryin to scrap pass everything, blaming everything else but myself for the grades.
Perhaps i was naive then, thinking of the glam that was attached to the sentence "hi, i'm wenrong from NUS law fac". But i knew then, that it was a privilege to be in the school of law, not a right.
I know many people would have killed to be in my place, doing everything right to graduate a good law student. And here i am wasting my life in law school.

Time to work hard.

Cheers people

Regards,
Wenrong