'感觉' 消失后，取而代之的，是经过时间，慢慢建立起来的 '感情'...
Had a lot of afterthoughts after reading the article, promised myself that i'll write an entry about it when I am done with my take home assignments. And here I am..
Pardon me if you find the following entry a little messy, I'm just writing as I go through the article once again..
There isn't a second chance to live your life, therefore you take every step with much care and consideration. This is why life is precious, this is why decisions you make at every junction u come to in life are heavily weighted and considered. The author then questioned, what if relationship is the same? What if you can only love once in your life and there is no turning back, no starting over? Would you still find yourself falling in and out of love so easily?
He has pointed out rightly, that the average age of those getting hitch is decreasing, even primary school students are getting attached. This, in his perspective, is a worrying trend, considering the lack of maturity and independence. How much do they know about relationships, what it means to be together with somebody? The rate of breaking up has therefore, increased tremendously...
However, to me, at different stages of your life, u are involved in a relationships to a different degree. Therefore, a person goes through a number of relationships before finally settling down. There is an introductory stage whereby you are less involved. Even if you were contemplating a future with this person, the success rate of which is small because you have yet to find out what are you looking for in life, in a partner. By success rate, i mean to be able to stay together with that person, and get a HDB flat later in life.
After the introductory stage, a person is more or less able to discern what he wants in life and in a spouse. There in comes the intermediary stage, whereby you look out for someone whom u seriously want to spend your life with. But at this stage, things might still not work out, because of different daily habits when living together, postings overseas etc. You are knowing more and more people as you settle into your career. External factors which you cannot help will affect the relationships.
Then the last stage, where you are pretty settled on what you want and have settled into your career. Things are more in control, you have better big picture, grand scheme of life. You then think about being together with someone really seriously and will be willing to give in when you can, etc.
Hence, i maintain that a person has to go through the baptism of the first two stages, to really appreciate relationship for what it is, his spouse for who she is.
A relationship, at the end of the day, involves two people. As I've mentioned before, eyons ago, anything that has to involve more than one person, only complicate things. Same applies. The complexity of relationships is attributed by the very fact that there are two people in it. Two people with emotions involve only escalate the degree of complexity. There needs to be a certain compatibility between the two in order to make things work. Compatibility as to the thinking, principles, outlook in life, views regarding relationship.
The author asked, why can't people consider relationships carefully before making the decision, and give everything he has after making that decision?
Because when he wanted to give everything, she was not serious. Because when she wanted to love him with all she had, he merely wanted a companion. Many people have experienced such pain because they met the wrong people at the wrong time. There was incompatibility of views towards relationship, and they were hurt. So badly that they told themselves, the next time they will protect themselves. There's no giving everything, because at the end of it all, they'll only be hurt. Hence the hurt passes on.
Can one person curb the cycle? Can one person change the whole playing field?
人终究是感情的动物，感觉会在最不可思议的时候出现．．．
Feelings for new people you meet will definitely come about. The difference lies in how you manage it when you are already with somebody. Some people see it as a challenge to the strength of the relationship, while others simply falter at inducement of excitement and adrenaline.
对，爱是可以重来
但是，对一个人的爱，对一个人的感情，对一个人的记忆，一旦错过了，就再也不能重来了．
Whatever that you had with this special person that you have set ur sight on, can never be replaced by another person.
Love can happen again and again.
The love between you and that person, wont ever happen again.
Therefore, even though one person can have many relationships in his life time, at the end of the day, each relationship is precious. Keeping that in mind, one will be more careful about wanting to end the relationship.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Posted by 廣羽三人 on
（摘至星洲日報／副刊‧文：黃色小叮噹‧2006/12/02）
常常听人說，在愛情的世界里，沒有所謂的對與錯……兩個人能在一起，就是緣分；若不幸分手了，便是無緣。現在的年輕人談戀愛講究感覺。對他們而言，感覺是愛上一個人的主因，沒有感覺的愛情枯燥無味，所以不如早日分手，這樣就不會浪費彼此找尋真愛的時間了。不過，如果把愛情懸掛于真愛以及感覺之間，還真讓人摸不出他們有什麼關聯呢！無論是感覺或愛情，在無情的時間見證之下，都會有所變更。難道所謂的真愛是永遠不變的愛嗎？對一個人的感覺可以永遠保鮮嗎？當感覺一旦變淡，是不是連愛情都沒有了？而經得起考驗的愛就是真愛嗎？怎麼才算經得起考驗呢？不受誘惑、沒有第三者介入的就是經得起考驗的愛情嗎？如果甲和乙條件相同，不過因為跟甲在一起久，沒感情了，反而跟乙在一起就充滿新鮮感，是否可以因為這樣而棄舊換新呢？
很多人分手了都會說是因為性格不合、沒有感覺或其他理由。有時，听起來很明顯的只是借口，明明是因為移情別戀了──在分手後，雙方就迅速地找到了新的另一半。難道分手後就不可以再開始另一段新戀情嗎？可以，不過讓人覺得納悶的是，如果是因為性格不合或沒有感覺而分手，那為何早不分，晚不分，偏偏等到第三者出現了，就分手？當然，如果要解釋，他們的答案可以寫好幾本書。合久必分？真的是這樣嗎？沒有人可以給予正確的答案，有些人即使結婚了還是可以離婚，並且再婚的。難道婚姻真的是愛情的墳墓？是因為結婚後有束縛，不能享受棄舊換新戀情的緣故嗎？
我听過一個故事，雖然不怎麼特別，不過對我來說卻很具有教育意義：
一個擁有幸福家庭的男人，在陰差陽錯的情況之下救了一個天使，所以天使就給了他一個願望。他想了想，對天使說︰“如果生命有take 2，可以重來的話就好了。”天使答應了他，並對他說︰“你就好好享受你的人生吧！等你想要重來的時候，只要心理想我，一切就會恢復原狀了！”
那個人听了雀躍萬分，心想︰“我可以做一切我想要做的事情了。”在回家的路上，他看見了毒販，就經不起誘惑買了一些毒品來嘗試。果然，那是一種飄飄欲仙的感覺。回到家後，他立即和平日嘮叨不停的老婆離婚了，然後娶了一個年輕貌美的新老婆。再來就是儘量地又嫖又賭，放縱自己，讓自己墮落，嘗試一些以前永遠不敢做的事情。因為毒癮和賭癮常常發作，他很快就破產了，新老婆也離他而去，同時，他發現自己得了愛滋病……這時，他的前妻卻默默地回到他的身邊照顧他。他百思不解，開口問道︰“我以前那樣對你，你為什麼還要回來呢？”她默默不語，只流下兩行淚。那個人愧疚萬分，頓時大悟，從夢中醒了過來。只見天使在他身邊說道︰“你現在了解為什麼生命不可以有take 2了吧？生命之所以可貴，是因為生命不能重來啊！所以人們才會懂得珍惜身邊的一切。”
生命沒有take 2，所以大家都盡量小心翼翼地選擇自己想要的生活。因為一旦作了抉擇，就無法再回頭了……因為我們並沒有那麼幸運，遇到可以讓我們重來的天使。那愛情呢？如果愛情也沒有take 2，那大家是否會小心而且更認真地看待愛情呢？隨時代的變遷，談戀愛的年齡已經越來越年輕化，甚至連小學生也開始談戀愛了，在心智以及各方面都尚未成熟、獨立的情況下，分手的幾率當然異常的高。
為什麼會這樣？
因為愛情總是可以重來，如果對第一段感情不滿意，隨時可以結束，然後展開新的一段戀情。只要生命還沒結束，愛情就隨時可以更新。然而，若愛情沒有take 2，一個人一生只能愛一個人，可能就不會有人因感覺變淡而分手了，更不會有第三者的出現。而且也沒有人敢冒冒然地愛，不會有人為了嘗試愛情而愛，更不會有人荒謬到為了吸取更多的愛情經驗而愛。考慮清清楚楚了才愛，愛了就要全心付出，絕不回頭……這樣的想法會不會只是一種夢想？這種願望是不是很難達成？
也許在取笑之餘，大家是否能嘗試想一想，若愛情變得像生命一樣可貴，那這願望是不是就能達成了？雖然在現實世界裡，愛情隨時可以重來，然而真實的狀況是，愛情就像是一張白紙，以往的愛情記錄只要寫下了就怎麼刪也刪不掉，或許自己可以假裝忘記，但卻不可能忘記自己以及對方在愛情記錄中留下的回憶。有誰願意把傷痛的回憶留給自己的愛人呢？無可否認，對一個人感覺的確會隨時間而慢慢消逝，可是感情卻會慢慢被培養起來。之後，兩個人在一起並不只是一種習慣，而是因為感情建立了，彼此再也離不開對方了。雖說這樣的感情多數平淡如水，但細水長流卻綿綿不絕呀！當然，這種感覺，只有用心去愛的人才可以了解與體會了！
（摘至星洲日報／副刊‧文：黃色小叮噹‧2006/12/02）
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
No idea how to start on my assignment. The outline is there, just can't seemed to sit myself down and type it out. I guess i'm having a writer's block, and i probably can blog it off.. Lack of inspiration to blog, even..
Everything happens for a reason. Any incident, any experience, any person that you come across in your life, You can learn something out of any of these, good or bad. Everyday, i look at the things occurring around me, and i just see this theme recurring. You might not realize it right now, but some time later, when something of the same vein occur, you'll see the light.
Some friends have been asking me if I'm fine after reading my blog. All I say is 'what is wrong?' I'm not trying to sound casual, to pretend nothing is happening in my life or act all mysterious about my life. Perhaps certain entries can seem a little emo, but I'm still handling it. I do have my fair share of being at a loss, but I make it a point to walk myself out of it. I may seem to be troubled by many things, but I know when to let go of certain things.
Basically, I really actually have nothing to complain about in my life. My family, albeit big and complex, is generally loving. My friends, vast and diverse, i have a few whom i hold really dear to my heart. My love, undefined, but i have my emotional support here and there. I am really very grateful to each and everyone that has been, is in my life. Really thankful that our paths crossed and eventually if we take on different routes, the memories live on.
The cynism, skeptism is slowly melting away. The anger of losing something that was dear is slowly fizzling out. She told me that it'll take another man's whole hearted love to heal me but i beg to differ. To be able to understand and accept that it happened, that somethings are just not within your control, to understand how things work in life, is the path to recovery. And of cos, much reassurance that ultimately, i'll find the one. It might sound cliche if it came from any other person, but when it came from someone who has been there, done that. From being young and innocent, to really loved and gotten hurt, then playing the field and later, found the right person, he has seen it all. Having had the same doubts that I have now, he has found the answers that I probably need to spend the next few years searching for. The meaning of having a relationship, the objectives of a marriage, the importance of having someone share your success with.
To sit me down, listen to my stories and then walk me through certain things that happened, it is really not easy. Because firstly, there aren't many whom i'll take sermons from. And secondly, it is really time consuming for something that you probably yield nothing 'cept perhaps the satisfaction of guiding a lost sheep. He is a much needed iron hand right now in my life, enough space for me to learn the ropes on my own yet the warnings come early enough for me to back off from the cliff. I can only say: xie la =)
I know when i find my place in life in the later stages, this period will really play a big part in what becomes of me. My outlook, principles all taking shape right now. Make it, or break it.
WR
Everything happens for a reason. Any incident, any experience, any person that you come across in your life, You can learn something out of any of these, good or bad. Everyday, i look at the things occurring around me, and i just see this theme recurring. You might not realize it right now, but some time later, when something of the same vein occur, you'll see the light.
Some friends have been asking me if I'm fine after reading my blog. All I say is 'what is wrong?' I'm not trying to sound casual, to pretend nothing is happening in my life or act all mysterious about my life. Perhaps certain entries can seem a little emo, but I'm still handling it. I do have my fair share of being at a loss, but I make it a point to walk myself out of it. I may seem to be troubled by many things, but I know when to let go of certain things.
Basically, I really actually have nothing to complain about in my life. My family, albeit big and complex, is generally loving. My friends, vast and diverse, i have a few whom i hold really dear to my heart. My love, undefined, but i have my emotional support here and there. I am really very grateful to each and everyone that has been, is in my life. Really thankful that our paths crossed and eventually if we take on different routes, the memories live on.
The cynism, skeptism is slowly melting away. The anger of losing something that was dear is slowly fizzling out. She told me that it'll take another man's whole hearted love to heal me but i beg to differ. To be able to understand and accept that it happened, that somethings are just not within your control, to understand how things work in life, is the path to recovery. And of cos, much reassurance that ultimately, i'll find the one. It might sound cliche if it came from any other person, but when it came from someone who has been there, done that. From being young and innocent, to really loved and gotten hurt, then playing the field and later, found the right person, he has seen it all. Having had the same doubts that I have now, he has found the answers that I probably need to spend the next few years searching for. The meaning of having a relationship, the objectives of a marriage, the importance of having someone share your success with.
To sit me down, listen to my stories and then walk me through certain things that happened, it is really not easy. Because firstly, there aren't many whom i'll take sermons from. And secondly, it is really time consuming for something that you probably yield nothing 'cept perhaps the satisfaction of guiding a lost sheep. He is a much needed iron hand right now in my life, enough space for me to learn the ropes on my own yet the warnings come early enough for me to back off from the cliff. I can only say: xie la =)
I know when i find my place in life in the later stages, this period will really play a big part in what becomes of me. My outlook, principles all taking shape right now. Make it, or break it.
WR
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
清官难断家务事
because it involves emotion.. Involves a person's outlook in life... How you treat your family need to come from within. How much you do, they cannot demand. Nothing can be demarcated clearly, burdens can never be divided equally. There isn't a problem if all the kids are brought up to be selfish or selfless. But things become difficult once some are of each category... Those who give and give, and those that never stop taking, eventually some conflict will arise... and when there are conflicts, they usually cannot be solved because there are just too many elements to one single problem.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to the individual. When you give, don't expect anything in return. Any expectations often turn into disappointment. You tend to expect more from the ones you love the most, and therein lies the danger of disappointment. Therein lies the difference between a mother's love and any other kind of love you can find. Because disappointment can take away those other kinds of love, but never will it deplete your mother's love for you...
However, when you take, remember to be grateful. Remember that they do not have any obligation towards you, even if you are born into the same family. There's affinity, but that's all to it. The more you love them, they more you should feel grateful when they make an effort to do anything for you. Towards family, towards your friends...
When you love, remember not to impose it on the other party. Remember that what you consider as a loving gesture, might be poison to the other party. Remember that, loving that person too much, might be difficult for him/her because he/she cannot reciprocate. Suffocated by the need to repay your love, he/she might choose to runaway from it instead.
Always remember that no problem is too big for a family. That a family is worth going back to because of the support that one finds there. That everyone loves everyone, but they just have different way of showing it.
这里有爱等我回来
because it involves emotion.. Involves a person's outlook in life... How you treat your family need to come from within. How much you do, they cannot demand. Nothing can be demarcated clearly, burdens can never be divided equally. There isn't a problem if all the kids are brought up to be selfish or selfless. But things become difficult once some are of each category... Those who give and give, and those that never stop taking, eventually some conflict will arise... and when there are conflicts, they usually cannot be solved because there are just too many elements to one single problem.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to the individual. When you give, don't expect anything in return. Any expectations often turn into disappointment. You tend to expect more from the ones you love the most, and therein lies the danger of disappointment. Therein lies the difference between a mother's love and any other kind of love you can find. Because disappointment can take away those other kinds of love, but never will it deplete your mother's love for you...
However, when you take, remember to be grateful. Remember that they do not have any obligation towards you, even if you are born into the same family. There's affinity, but that's all to it. The more you love them, they more you should feel grateful when they make an effort to do anything for you. Towards family, towards your friends...
When you love, remember not to impose it on the other party. Remember that what you consider as a loving gesture, might be poison to the other party. Remember that, loving that person too much, might be difficult for him/her because he/she cannot reciprocate. Suffocated by the need to repay your love, he/she might choose to runaway from it instead.
Always remember that no problem is too big for a family. That a family is worth going back to because of the support that one finds there. That everyone loves everyone, but they just have different way of showing it.
这里有爱等我回来
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I think i've found the perfect spot to study outside of my house... At amk central macdonald, wifi, powerpoint, junk food, comfortable seats... Still evaluating the crowd though...
Made my way here at 8 am in the morning for a new tuition assignment that i've taken up only recently. I was warned that he is a problem child, bad attitude, etc, therefore i had my reservations at first.. Perhaps it is only our first session, but he seemed pleasant enough. Contrary to what i've been told, that he isn't really thinking about his future, he has an idea of where he wants to be already. Mayb the adults are just too critical of him to see what he is capable of. On the whole an enjoyable session, where i made my fair share of mistakes and he is pretty sharp to spot where did i go wrong. He'll definitely be a difficult case on his bad days, but we'll see...
My own work is piling up and i actually am taking time to evaluate other people's future :) That's me. Cant take my own things in control and yet i want to meddle with other's affairs. Probably that's why i want to be a teacher so much. Always worrying for the students' future, well-being, etc.
Nice and cozy corner while it drizzles outside... I think i should get back to my paper before the lunch hour starts...
Cheers.
WR
Made my way here at 8 am in the morning for a new tuition assignment that i've taken up only recently. I was warned that he is a problem child, bad attitude, etc, therefore i had my reservations at first.. Perhaps it is only our first session, but he seemed pleasant enough. Contrary to what i've been told, that he isn't really thinking about his future, he has an idea of where he wants to be already. Mayb the adults are just too critical of him to see what he is capable of. On the whole an enjoyable session, where i made my fair share of mistakes and he is pretty sharp to spot where did i go wrong. He'll definitely be a difficult case on his bad days, but we'll see...
My own work is piling up and i actually am taking time to evaluate other people's future :) That's me. Cant take my own things in control and yet i want to meddle with other's affairs. Probably that's why i want to be a teacher so much. Always worrying for the students' future, well-being, etc.
Nice and cozy corner while it drizzles outside... I think i should get back to my paper before the lunch hour starts...
Cheers.
WR
Short post before i go to bed.. Busy day =) went for tuition, read up for my paper, went to meet my frens for a drink... my frens for 4 years. Two guys. I got to know them at Siam supper club, when my sister was working there. It was freaking crowded and i was stuck there, right in between the two seats they were occupying and we started talking.. That was 4 years ago, around this time..
I guess i met them at near the lowest point of their lives... I think i've seen them at the most emo time of their lives. And it was us, 4 years ago, who started using the word 'Emo' for the record...
Now, one of them is engaged, and another is happily attached =)
They really look like their lives are complete, and i'm really very happy for them. The happiness stems from knowing how much they have been through, their past, their pain, the rejections... I ever cried just listening to one of their stories..
On a happier note, i'll always remember the silly times we shared together. The time we sat at joo chiat on a Thursday after ladies night at Zouk, cos we're all dead drunk the night before. They took off and i was having my holidays, we just bum there... How we spent the national day together, watching the big screen at ren ci, and then had dinner at chomp chomp.. How we spent our friday nights at winebar, looking at chicks. Lingerie chick, two left feet chick. The night of 3 blue cars. The countless dressing downs i had to take from them for dating my ex boyfriend. The day they rush down for me when i broke off with him. The countless jokes they cracked about him. The two birthdays they celebrated with me.. How they blamed me for being so young, thereby not being able to go to velvet...
Today damien said "Damn, i saw you through your whole bloody tertiary education. you are actually graduating next year"
And it dawned upon me.. They have been around for so long. And one of them is actually getting married in May. =) It feels like yesterday when i asked them if they'll invite me to their wedding and the things i swore to god, i'd tell their wives about.
Man... how things have changed. How things have become different in the span of 4 years.. How they used to nag at me, for hanging around the two old men so much.. Now the two old men are going through a different phrase already, the little girl no longer exists and no longer can pester them...
My brothers. They'll definitely leave my life at some point or another. Even those around me right now. But ultimately, I'll remember all the memories they left me with. The jokes we shared. The times we have together. The stupid things we did. Whether we keep in contact, doesn't really matter. Because I know that, we've really been there for each other. I saw them through some of the most difficult times of their lives, they did the same. Thereafter, I just wish they'll never hit that same low again, or if they do, someone else will be there for them. =) Because it is a different phrase and it is a different kind of attention that they need...
君子之交- 淡如水
有缘千里来相会,无缘见面不相识
I guess i met them at near the lowest point of their lives... I think i've seen them at the most emo time of their lives. And it was us, 4 years ago, who started using the word 'Emo' for the record...
Now, one of them is engaged, and another is happily attached =)
They really look like their lives are complete, and i'm really very happy for them. The happiness stems from knowing how much they have been through, their past, their pain, the rejections... I ever cried just listening to one of their stories..
On a happier note, i'll always remember the silly times we shared together. The time we sat at joo chiat on a Thursday after ladies night at Zouk, cos we're all dead drunk the night before. They took off and i was having my holidays, we just bum there... How we spent the national day together, watching the big screen at ren ci, and then had dinner at chomp chomp.. How we spent our friday nights at winebar, looking at chicks. Lingerie chick, two left feet chick. The night of 3 blue cars. The countless dressing downs i had to take from them for dating my ex boyfriend. The day they rush down for me when i broke off with him. The countless jokes they cracked about him. The two birthdays they celebrated with me.. How they blamed me for being so young, thereby not being able to go to velvet...
Today damien said "Damn, i saw you through your whole bloody tertiary education. you are actually graduating next year"
And it dawned upon me.. They have been around for so long. And one of them is actually getting married in May. =) It feels like yesterday when i asked them if they'll invite me to their wedding and the things i swore to god, i'd tell their wives about.
Man... how things have changed. How things have become different in the span of 4 years.. How they used to nag at me, for hanging around the two old men so much.. Now the two old men are going through a different phrase already, the little girl no longer exists and no longer can pester them...
My brothers. They'll definitely leave my life at some point or another. Even those around me right now. But ultimately, I'll remember all the memories they left me with. The jokes we shared. The times we have together. The stupid things we did. Whether we keep in contact, doesn't really matter. Because I know that, we've really been there for each other. I saw them through some of the most difficult times of their lives, they did the same. Thereafter, I just wish they'll never hit that same low again, or if they do, someone else will be there for them. =) Because it is a different phrase and it is a different kind of attention that they need...
君子之交- 淡如水
有缘千里来相会,无缘见面不相识
Friday, March 30, 2007
这首歌对我来说并没有多大的意义。。
旋律好听。。 歌词写得不错。。。
‘我爱故我在’ 意思应该是 ‘我因为爱而存在’
"there are somethings you don't want to become" I still remember.
今天的我，又想起过去。
没有用的我，又回到四年前。
但是，现在的我，对过去那个我，只有不耻。
对那个单纯的自己，只有厌恶。
but comparing then and now, who can say which is better? Who is to say that she was worsed off? And who can say that i'm much better off the way i am right now?
She had something that i don't. I believe I'm stronger that her.
But she's part of me.. For better or worse, she'll always be in there, somewhere.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough emo-ism for the day...
I've just received call that I'll be interning at Drew and Napier for July. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be in time for their assessment for pupilage recruitment. Hence I still have to go through the interview and hopefully they still have space by then.
Anyhow, even if i don't get my pupilage there, i'll try to do well for my internship for long term. Well, that's all i can do isn't it? To do my best and all else is out of my control.
Things that are out of my control.. Have always been grappling with these 'things'. Because they are out of control, any amount of thoughts and concern can never change anything. Therefore i have to be contented with what i have. Therefore, i have to learn to adapt, to settle. And i have to learn that, no matter how hard i try, there are just these things that are there to make your life more difficult that it already is, more unbearable than it can ever be, more unfair than you can ever imagine. But, remember, that is life. U can tear your hair out, scream your lungs out and cry your heart out, This is life. There are only so much you can do.
Don't let them get to you, enjoy the ride, remember the scenery..
You are the only variable you control.
WR
旋律好听。。 歌词写得不错。。。
‘我爱故我在’ 意思应该是 ‘我因为爱而存在’
"there are somethings you don't want to become" I still remember.
今天的我，又想起过去。
没有用的我，又回到四年前。
但是，现在的我，对过去那个我，只有不耻。
对那个单纯的自己，只有厌恶。
but comparing then and now, who can say which is better? Who is to say that she was worsed off? And who can say that i'm much better off the way i am right now?
She had something that i don't. I believe I'm stronger that her.
But she's part of me.. For better or worse, she'll always be in there, somewhere.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough emo-ism for the day...
I've just received call that I'll be interning at Drew and Napier for July. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be in time for their assessment for pupilage recruitment. Hence I still have to go through the interview and hopefully they still have space by then.
Anyhow, even if i don't get my pupilage there, i'll try to do well for my internship for long term. Well, that's all i can do isn't it? To do my best and all else is out of my control.
Things that are out of my control.. Have always been grappling with these 'things'. Because they are out of control, any amount of thoughts and concern can never change anything. Therefore i have to be contented with what i have. Therefore, i have to learn to adapt, to settle. And i have to learn that, no matter how hard i try, there are just these things that are there to make your life more difficult that it already is, more unbearable than it can ever be, more unfair than you can ever imagine. But, remember, that is life. U can tear your hair out, scream your lungs out and cry your heart out, This is life. There are only so much you can do.
Don't let them get to you, enjoy the ride, remember the scenery..
You are the only variable you control.
WR
Good morning, nice weather, great songs on my lappy.. The Friday definitely started out right. Notwithstanding all the assignments deadline nearing, i'm still taking my own sweet time to get things started.
Read many things in the papers, wanted to have a go at some of them but decided not to be so intellectual in today's post. More casual, less intense shall today's post be.
"Boston
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go toBoston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
YeahBoston
Where no one knows my name.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read my older entries yesterday.. Seen how things have changed over the years yet it seemed like yesterday. I can still feel a little sting of what had happened. I still remember vividly how difficult it was. No matter how many people i talked to, at the end of the day, it was just me and myself, fighting the voice inside me, "what if..."
It is all too recent to be put aside.
This is probably why I simply cannot stomach people ard me doing silly things just to salvage their lost love. Because i see myself in them. That girl who i once was, who could put down everything just for another chance of being with that person, who had so clearly given her up. Knowing fully well the kind of nuisance she was, skewed analysis of every word that he said in her favour, not knowing when to stop.
The bitter taste is still there. And to hear of people doing the same thing, facing the same problem, even if the fact pattern is different, I have little to say. Because no amount of words will suffice. As long as he/she wants to wallow in the hole of false hope and self pity, nothing can save him/her. The harsh reality remains, the other person has left. The more you do right now, the lesser you will be to that person. All i can say is, pack up the little dignity you have left and walk away. Even if there is a little bit of love left in that person, a relationship cannot work if that person has lost his/her respect for you.
先学会爱自己
别人才会知道怎么爱你
Read many things in the papers, wanted to have a go at some of them but decided not to be so intellectual in today's post. More casual, less intense shall today's post be.
"
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah
Where no one knows my name.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read my older entries yesterday.. Seen how things have changed over the years yet it seemed like yesterday. I can still feel a little sting of what had happened. I still remember vividly how difficult it was. No matter how many people i talked to, at the end of the day, it was just me and myself, fighting the voice inside me, "what if..."
It is all too recent to be put aside.
This is probably why I simply cannot stomach people ard me doing silly things just to salvage their lost love. Because i see myself in them. That girl who i once was, who could put down everything just for another chance of being with that person, who had so clearly given her up. Knowing fully well the kind of nuisance she was, skewed analysis of every word that he said in her favour, not knowing when to stop.
The bitter taste is still there. And to hear of people doing the same thing, facing the same problem, even if the fact pattern is different, I have little to say. Because no amount of words will suffice. As long as he/she wants to wallow in the hole of false hope and self pity, nothing can save him/her. The harsh reality remains, the other person has left. The more you do right now, the lesser you will be to that person. All i can say is, pack up the little dignity you have left and walk away. Even if there is a little bit of love left in that person, a relationship cannot work if that person has lost his/her respect for you.
先学会爱自己
别人才会知道怎么爱你
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Much hype created by my sister. Finally saw it today, the day that it opened. Frankly speaking i was pretty disappointed by it, even though some parts were pretty moving. The story was good, but it could be better put together. The stories weren't linked well, hence it felt like the story was all over the place...
However, the students' stories, their lives touched me. School and education don't mean anything to them. Btween their lives and studies, the choice is clear. What is the point of is, are, was, were when u might just be shot dead the next moment? Then you realised that education can bring u to places, but not when you're dead.
then the line "You cannot teach someone to want education" hit you in your face. You cannot blame Margaret for say that. To her, they are just a bunch of good-for-nothings, don't want anything out of life. They are a bunch of street rats who were forced upon this A-list school, turning it into make shift care centre for problem kids. She has been teaching for a good number of years in this good school to justify her resentment for these kids.
Lack of belief in the kids. Lack of faith in what their profession. The concept that the good and academically inclined students should be given more resources is something I can never agree with. Why do they even teach in the first place? What is the point of education then? Undeniably, there are definitely those who just cannot be bothered to study. But there are students who will put in the effort once you show them you believe in what they are capable of. I have first hand experience to this.
Ms G's divorce in the movie... just shows that no one can be perfect.. That ultimately, time is a limited resource. You spend more time at your job, you'll end up alone. No one can blame her husband for leaving. He didn't marry the TV. Definitely things could have worked out, but she was more sensitive towards her kids' wants and needs instead of noticing her husband's insecurities.
He stood as a stark contrast to her father, who strongly disapproved of her being a teacher. Though so, he was there to pick up the kids with her for the trip. He showed his support for what she did for the kids. As opposed to the husband who was initially supportive, but found himself further and further from her along the way. He could have been there, to see what she was doing for herself and her students. Instead of feeling short changed in life, he could have felt happy for her. But his male ego stood in the way "But i am not your wife" he said. He couldn't stand being the lesser person in the relationship, unable to fulfill his dream as much as she did. He chose to leave. Her father, instead, admitted his mistake and declared how proud he was that his daughter 'was blessed with a burden'. She had a cause to fulfill.
Funny how i have so much to write when i started out saying i was disappointed.... Must be the afterthoughts...
Hope i din spoil your movie.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
went to credit suisse for internship interview today.. from what i gathered, they were quite impressed with me. Less the fact that i already had prior commitment, i can say that i had pretty high chances of clinching the internship. I told them of my prior commitment and we had a good laugh over it. They wanted me to make a decision then and there but all i could tell them was, "if my saying yes here requires me to go back on my words to them, then my yes here cannot be worth much, right?"
That being said, so much about a company can be seen via an interview. Just like how much an experienced manager can learn about an interviewee in that short hour. Big as they are, successful as they might be, the way they carry themselves in front of outsiders, the way they receive you is full of professionalism. From the reception, until the two executives see you to the elevator.
Even this is a learning experience, no?
Nearing the crossroads of my life. Moving into that phase in life whereby i have to choose where do i want to go from here. A few paths already mapped out in my head. Assuming perfect scenarios, the different future that i see. But now i'm still keeping my options open, i can only decide when i go through my hell internship with the law firm. I'll probably be another digit at the firm, something which i totally cannot come to terms with. However, it is still too early to make any conclusion.
These few months, my learning curve is steep, very. There are really too many things out there to be learn. Things that you cannot learn in the books. Things u have to see and try for yourself. By far, the most that i've learned about relationship, is within this period when i'm single. See how people go about hitting the walls, crying over relationships that shouldn't have taken plc, how guys bark up the wrong tree, how girls go around boasting about their 'conquests', all sorts of power struggle in a relationship...
It'll definitely do my next r/s good, but whether it lasts or not will be another story yeah?
We'll never know. That's the beauty of life.
WR
That being said, so much about a company can be seen via an interview. Just like how much an experienced manager can learn about an interviewee in that short hour. Big as they are, successful as they might be, the way they carry themselves in front of outsiders, the way they receive you is full of professionalism. From the reception, until the two executives see you to the elevator.
Even this is a learning experience, no?
Nearing the crossroads of my life. Moving into that phase in life whereby i have to choose where do i want to go from here. A few paths already mapped out in my head. Assuming perfect scenarios, the different future that i see. But now i'm still keeping my options open, i can only decide when i go through my hell internship with the law firm. I'll probably be another digit at the firm, something which i totally cannot come to terms with. However, it is still too early to make any conclusion.
These few months, my learning curve is steep, very. There are really too many things out there to be learn. Things that you cannot learn in the books. Things u have to see and try for yourself. By far, the most that i've learned about relationship, is within this period when i'm single. See how people go about hitting the walls, crying over relationships that shouldn't have taken plc, how guys bark up the wrong tree, how girls go around boasting about their 'conquests', all sorts of power struggle in a relationship...
It'll definitely do my next r/s good, but whether it lasts or not will be another story yeah?
We'll never know. That's the beauty of life.
WR
Jus a short post before i go back to earning $150 per essay.. I'm fine, as the previous posts might suggest otherwise.. There are things to be done, assignment to complete... Still going about my life as usual. Things are becoming clearer and clearer in my perspective. I guess at the end of the day, of everything i go though, there is something to take away from it. From all these mish-mash, i've seen many things, many people, experience many things, learn much more than what i could have asked for. Through conversation, observation and interaction, it is something you will never be able to achieve in the classroom. The learning curve is exponential.
looking at the near future, there are so many things waiting to be completed.. It is really difficult to imagine if i have someone to answer to, to report my movement, to be committed to. The current lifestyle, althou may seem unorthodox to some, is what i need. Company, not commitment. Frens, not partner.
However, ultimately, i'm still a girl. I would love to have someone to whine to at the end of the day. To feel the sense of belonging. To have a pair of strong arms to receive me when i'm down and out. Even though i'm not entirely on my own yet, I already know what does it mean to fend for myself. How does it feel when u stand out there alone. To belong to myself. To have only myself. This is important for me. To find out who i really am, to know what i really want and who i really want to be with.
I may be infatuated with this person, but with each passing day, i realized that it is more like admiration and respect for an individual. Rest assured that I know fully well what i am doing and that at the end of the day, i'll be responsible to myself.
wr
looking at the near future, there are so many things waiting to be completed.. It is really difficult to imagine if i have someone to answer to, to report my movement, to be committed to. The current lifestyle, althou may seem unorthodox to some, is what i need. Company, not commitment. Frens, not partner.
However, ultimately, i'm still a girl. I would love to have someone to whine to at the end of the day. To feel the sense of belonging. To have a pair of strong arms to receive me when i'm down and out. Even though i'm not entirely on my own yet, I already know what does it mean to fend for myself. How does it feel when u stand out there alone. To belong to myself. To have only myself. This is important for me. To find out who i really am, to know what i really want and who i really want to be with.
I may be infatuated with this person, but with each passing day, i realized that it is more like admiration and respect for an individual. Rest assured that I know fully well what i am doing and that at the end of the day, i'll be responsible to myself.
wr
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
here i am again, but not because i'm emo today.. HAha but i have a paper due tml 10 am.. And i'm not even half way through it. Talk about procrastinating.
Quite a peaceful morning. Not much happened. Pretty focused on finishing my assignment, which is really satisfying as a write more and more into my blank piece of word document. Crap or not is another question... But took some time off to get some retro songs by Prince and now i'm writing a useless blog :D
That's just me. My attention span cannot last more than an hour.. or even less. LIke what pardeep said, i cannot see through anything. i even quit hip-hop already.. I really wonder if i'll ever be able to be with ONE thing/person for good. The only things that i really really treasure are my digital babies... Laptop, cellphone, Sony-walkman.. I take really good care of them and never get bored.. mayb i'll need a robot for companion instead.. Can constantly upload software, change settings, add this, minus that at my whims and fancy... Well, we'll see how long japan takes to come up with it...
I receive comments that i think too much.
Really? What does it mean to "think too much"?
Being too sensitive, reading too much into things or just being aware of the surroundings? Being aware of how other people feel, being aware of the lessons to be learn behind each experience, being aware of my own feelings, growth, etc?
Or is it just enough to get pass each day? Going through the motion, living each day as it comes. Enjoy and forget.
I cannot imagine being the latter, to just experience and not further analysis. To just do and stop at execution. Every act, decision actually amounts to something, every consequence, good or bad, there is a lesson to be learned. Every story that someone tells you, tell you something more about that person and something that you can benefit from. So much information and each story has so many perspectives to it. How can anyone just live life and watch everything pass by everyday?
I refuse to become like an animal... Which doesn't have the power to reason. Like some youngsters that i see... Completely oblivious to the world. Believe that the world revolves around them. They seemed to have completely lost their ability to see beyond execution. Like a puppet, they are manipulated - be it by parents, teachers or fashion, media, friends etc. When they think they are breaking out of a box (parents' care) they walk into another cell (Media). When they defy for the sake of defying, thinking it proves their acting on their own free-will, they are actually proving how ignorant, childish and give parents every reason not to trust them.
My sister pointed out that i might have been one of them when i was their age.
I didn't.
I had certain principles that i carried through till today.
I can be bad, but I must be able to answer to myself. I can do bad, but at the end of the day, i must be responsible for it. There are somethings i'll never do. Friends are important but i make a conscious decision not to be affected by their likes/dislikes.
Over the years, these became clear to me. I do hope the same applies for those lost sheep out there...
Regards
WR
Quite a peaceful morning. Not much happened. Pretty focused on finishing my assignment, which is really satisfying as a write more and more into my blank piece of word document. Crap or not is another question... But took some time off to get some retro songs by Prince and now i'm writing a useless blog :D
That's just me. My attention span cannot last more than an hour.. or even less. LIke what pardeep said, i cannot see through anything. i even quit hip-hop already.. I really wonder if i'll ever be able to be with ONE thing/person for good. The only things that i really really treasure are my digital babies... Laptop, cellphone, Sony-walkman.. I take really good care of them and never get bored.. mayb i'll need a robot for companion instead.. Can constantly upload software, change settings, add this, minus that at my whims and fancy... Well, we'll see how long japan takes to come up with it...
I receive comments that i think too much.
Really? What does it mean to "think too much"?
Being too sensitive, reading too much into things or just being aware of the surroundings? Being aware of how other people feel, being aware of the lessons to be learn behind each experience, being aware of my own feelings, growth, etc?
Or is it just enough to get pass each day? Going through the motion, living each day as it comes. Enjoy and forget.
I cannot imagine being the latter, to just experience and not further analysis. To just do and stop at execution. Every act, decision actually amounts to something, every consequence, good or bad, there is a lesson to be learned. Every story that someone tells you, tell you something more about that person and something that you can benefit from. So much information and each story has so many perspectives to it. How can anyone just live life and watch everything pass by everyday?
I refuse to become like an animal... Which doesn't have the power to reason. Like some youngsters that i see... Completely oblivious to the world. Believe that the world revolves around them. They seemed to have completely lost their ability to see beyond execution. Like a puppet, they are manipulated - be it by parents, teachers or fashion, media, friends etc. When they think they are breaking out of a box (parents' care) they walk into another cell (Media). When they defy for the sake of defying, thinking it proves their acting on their own free-will, they are actually proving how ignorant, childish and give parents every reason not to trust them.
My sister pointed out that i might have been one of them when i was their age.
I didn't.
I had certain principles that i carried through till today.
I can be bad, but I must be able to answer to myself. I can do bad, but at the end of the day, i must be responsible for it. There are somethings i'll never do. Friends are important but i make a conscious decision not to be affected by their likes/dislikes.
Over the years, these became clear to me. I do hope the same applies for those lost sheep out there...
Regards
WR
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Donkey years since i last post anything here...
Just found out from a friend that he actually bothered checking my blog, thank you very much...
Not exactly feeling on top of the world right now, probably that's why i decided to blog :9
Been experiencing some of the most havoc times in my life thus far.. Seeing so many things, getting to know people.. Learning the ropes of relating to people and yet not revealing too much of my inner thoughts..
I'm putting myself through some sort of training... to try and shed the last bit of emotions in me... To learn how to compartmentalize my life. To put emotions aside whenever i have to. To master the ability to say "Life goes on" and mean it...
And today just put a big fat F on my report card for this training. The past still affects me, somehow. Not great impact.. but still, this bit of impact shouldn't even exist in the first place.. His leaving early, was for the best. It was then, it still is now.
Few days ago, i pondered about my current situation. Do i really want to be doing what i am doing right now? Am i really in control of what i am doing? What do i want out of them?
I insisted that i really want to be rid of troublesome emotions and any chance of serious relationship.
She told me that it was impossible, because at the end of the day, girls want to be in some form of fruitful relationship, whereby there is someone they can return to. I used to yearn that.. I used to work towards that in every r/s.. It just gets boring/tiring/exhausting emotionally.. To try and not work out. to try again and not work out again. why? to achieve what?
as compared to my current position.
I see, i learn, i practice.
The interesting people i meet.
The commitment, or lack thereof.
There are the good and the bad.
At this hour when i need to run to someone, i find no one around me... But this is another thing for me to learn... To pick myself up when i fall.. to build a happiness that is not dependable on another. That is real happiness.. That is independent happiness that i can achieve.
rah. signing off...
Just found out from a friend that he actually bothered checking my blog, thank you very much...
Not exactly feeling on top of the world right now, probably that's why i decided to blog :9
Been experiencing some of the most havoc times in my life thus far.. Seeing so many things, getting to know people.. Learning the ropes of relating to people and yet not revealing too much of my inner thoughts..
I'm putting myself through some sort of training... to try and shed the last bit of emotions in me... To learn how to compartmentalize my life. To put emotions aside whenever i have to. To master the ability to say "Life goes on" and mean it...
And today just put a big fat F on my report card for this training. The past still affects me, somehow. Not great impact.. but still, this bit of impact shouldn't even exist in the first place.. His leaving early, was for the best. It was then, it still is now.
Few days ago, i pondered about my current situation. Do i really want to be doing what i am doing right now? Am i really in control of what i am doing? What do i want out of them?
I insisted that i really want to be rid of troublesome emotions and any chance of serious relationship.
She told me that it was impossible, because at the end of the day, girls want to be in some form of fruitful relationship, whereby there is someone they can return to. I used to yearn that.. I used to work towards that in every r/s.. It just gets boring/tiring/exhausting emotionally.. To try and not work out. to try again and not work out again. why? to achieve what?
as compared to my current position.
I see, i learn, i practice.
The interesting people i meet.
The commitment, or lack thereof.
There are the good and the bad.
At this hour when i need to run to someone, i find no one around me... But this is another thing for me to learn... To pick myself up when i fall.. to build a happiness that is not dependable on another. That is real happiness.. That is independent happiness that i can achieve.
rah. signing off...
Saturday, January 13, 2007
random post again... no particular topic in mind. Lately I've learned once again to question myself "is this what i want to do" "what do you want out of this" constantly challenging my actions/inactions, perhaps over analysing somethings.. Over some conversation with my frens, i was forced to face myself, my actions. Forced to find this inner me that have been pulling the strings thus far.
At this stage, the last thing anyone can do is to slot what he or she has done nicely into "good" and "bad"... I'm no exception. All that i asked for, is to be able to answer myself this qn "will i regret my decision?"
When i came home one particular clubbing day, instead of being tipsy, i was too sober... And i told myself this "I'd rather walk away feeling bad for having done something, than regret not doing it." Many things must be clouding ur mind now, bout what could have happened at the club for me to think that. Simple, i did the supposedly 'correct' thing and come home regretting it. Why den i wanted to do that so bad? Beats me, perhaps i was never an angel to begin with?
To me right now, there is only two states i'm choosing between: "being happy" or "unhappy". If my happiness doesn't affect anyone else directly, i'm going ahead with it. And even for short lived ones.
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He saw an angel in me, carved out the wings so i could fly...
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another angel has seen the wings that escaped me... He told me it has been there, waiting for me to flap it..
I'm the one weighing myself down..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When am i finally going to let my head rule..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever heard of the frog prince? I've heard of the story where an urban lady, who was cynical and claimed no longer believe in love, kissed a frog upon much persuasion fro him. And she became a frog too...
Freaky?
Story of my life - I claimed to have given up.. All that i've given up, is hope in any real relationship. I still try to feel love, to find someone to love. But there's an sub-conscious effort to look for it in the wrong places. Telling myself that if there isn't a future, there is nothing to worry about, that i won't be hurt because the end can been seen, the end is already in place..
But in truth? Maybe i'm just hurting myself more. Maybe sub-consciously i've never gotten over C, that i've been trying to triumph the pain of that r/s, so that i can move on. Maybe I just want to expose myself to more pain so that i can finally give up hope, for real. Maybe I just don't care and don't wish to follow the book anymore, because there was no reaching the pot of gold for me..
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You maybe a challenge.. He maybe some comfort. But definitely not love.. Definitely not the way that i've learned it to be. But that's all that i want/need at this moment or maybe for good.
Drama mama, i hear..
Emo, i hear..
Almost 4 years since we parted... I really wondered how it would have turned out if we didn't part.. We'll probably still break up later part, because of the gap, the difficulties.. But at least i tried.
Why does an emo entry always ends with him??
argh...
Good night
At this stage, the last thing anyone can do is to slot what he or she has done nicely into "good" and "bad"... I'm no exception. All that i asked for, is to be able to answer myself this qn "will i regret my decision?"
When i came home one particular clubbing day, instead of being tipsy, i was too sober... And i told myself this "I'd rather walk away feeling bad for having done something, than regret not doing it." Many things must be clouding ur mind now, bout what could have happened at the club for me to think that. Simple, i did the supposedly 'correct' thing and come home regretting it. Why den i wanted to do that so bad? Beats me, perhaps i was never an angel to begin with?
To me right now, there is only two states i'm choosing between: "being happy" or "unhappy". If my happiness doesn't affect anyone else directly, i'm going ahead with it. And even for short lived ones.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He saw an angel in me, carved out the wings so i could fly...
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another angel has seen the wings that escaped me... He told me it has been there, waiting for me to flap it..
I'm the one weighing myself down..
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When am i finally going to let my head rule..
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Ever heard of the frog prince? I've heard of the story where an urban lady, who was cynical and claimed no longer believe in love, kissed a frog upon much persuasion fro him. And she became a frog too...
Freaky?
Story of my life - I claimed to have given up.. All that i've given up, is hope in any real relationship. I still try to feel love, to find someone to love. But there's an sub-conscious effort to look for it in the wrong places. Telling myself that if there isn't a future, there is nothing to worry about, that i won't be hurt because the end can been seen, the end is already in place..
But in truth? Maybe i'm just hurting myself more. Maybe sub-consciously i've never gotten over C, that i've been trying to triumph the pain of that r/s, so that i can move on. Maybe I just want to expose myself to more pain so that i can finally give up hope, for real. Maybe I just don't care and don't wish to follow the book anymore, because there was no reaching the pot of gold for me..
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You maybe a challenge.. He maybe some comfort. But definitely not love.. Definitely not the way that i've learned it to be. But that's all that i want/need at this moment or maybe for good.
Drama mama, i hear..
Emo, i hear..
Almost 4 years since we parted... I really wondered how it would have turned out if we didn't part.. We'll probably still break up later part, because of the gap, the difficulties.. But at least i tried.
Why does an emo entry always ends with him??
argh...
Good night
Saturday, December 30, 2006
i got my results, let's just say it is the usual.. i'm pretty constant at this kind of things if i dun really put in the effort...
Has been a while since i updated the blog.. Was busy with friends and friends.. Got to know a few new friends, met up with old friends, saw the same people here and there...
funny how things can change so much in a short two weeks..
A gal friend of mine is going through a bad patch right now.. I tried to be there for her, i promised that i'll stay with her throughout. Only today den i remembered how she has always been there for me whenever i was down and out.. Always encouraging me, listening to me and not judging me for whatever that i've done or not. But i know that at the moment when i heard she was down, i didn't even thought about all these times. Instinctively, i wanted to be there for her.
I guess this is friendship... I cannot guarantee that it is going to last forever, but i know that this is friendship in its purest form. That you want to be there for somebody, not because he/she was there for you, but because u care for that person.
I could have left her alone, she is already an adult, she has a mind of her own.. It was perfectly justifiable and no one could have fault me had anything happened.. thou it was an "eventful" night, i was glad i was there with her.
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When you finally understand, you'd simply let it happen.. No need to fight it, don't have to fight for it...
Thus far, there had been clear lines drawn... Making myself question whether they are really necessary? When i've let my faith go, isn't it time to clean off the lines?
Lines have never been clear in reality.. Why go against nature? As they say, I need to explore, walk out of the box, to see what has the world install for me. I've never been good with rules.. So i guess those clear cut rules are going out the window...
Everything will take its place. The only person who can really love you, is yourself... And the only person who can really harbour expectations of you, is yourself..
Take care of yourself and everything else will follow.
Wenrong
Has been a while since i updated the blog.. Was busy with friends and friends.. Got to know a few new friends, met up with old friends, saw the same people here and there...
funny how things can change so much in a short two weeks..
A gal friend of mine is going through a bad patch right now.. I tried to be there for her, i promised that i'll stay with her throughout. Only today den i remembered how she has always been there for me whenever i was down and out.. Always encouraging me, listening to me and not judging me for whatever that i've done or not. But i know that at the moment when i heard she was down, i didn't even thought about all these times. Instinctively, i wanted to be there for her.
I guess this is friendship... I cannot guarantee that it is going to last forever, but i know that this is friendship in its purest form. That you want to be there for somebody, not because he/she was there for you, but because u care for that person.
I could have left her alone, she is already an adult, she has a mind of her own.. It was perfectly justifiable and no one could have fault me had anything happened.. thou it was an "eventful" night, i was glad i was there with her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you finally understand, you'd simply let it happen.. No need to fight it, don't have to fight for it...
Thus far, there had been clear lines drawn... Making myself question whether they are really necessary? When i've let my faith go, isn't it time to clean off the lines?
Lines have never been clear in reality.. Why go against nature? As they say, I need to explore, walk out of the box, to see what has the world install for me. I've never been good with rules.. So i guess those clear cut rules are going out the window...
Everything will take its place. The only person who can really love you, is yourself... And the only person who can really harbour expectations of you, is yourself..
Take care of yourself and everything else will follow.
Wenrong
Saturday, December 09, 2006
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