sigh..
i'm rather down now..
bleai
cos i had a really great afternoon with him...
but sorta messed it up when i got home..
now i'm really really down.
argh...
jus wish i can noe what is goin on in his head now.

let's jus hope he is sleeping ...
or talking to his mum..

sigh.
think it's someting tt i msg that pissed him off..
argh
but i dun mean anything in a sacarstic way yeah?

hrm..
let's hope that i'm jus over reacting.


yupZzz
thinking of quiting my pathetic job..
thinking of doin something really interesting..
but yet to noe wat.
sigh
my life is act. qt a mess as well huh?
why cant i jus stay put in that job?
*wonders wonders*
perhaps the grass always looks greener on the other side.

yupz
he's trying to call..
wah...
let's hope nothing's wrong
hiak hiakz

cheers

ahhh
i'm sorry!!!!
for not updating for de past week
rather buzy...
hahahaha
and alot of stuff i cant publish
so no point anyhow...
yupZ

sick again after my new year break
totally pissed off with my tuition centre
i wanna start biz myself now.
and i mean now!
yupZzz
and rather happy new year btw.
i miss my frens!
hhahahaha
gotta meet up with them reallllll soooN!
hiak hiakzzz

k k
i got to go rest now.!!!
take care!!!!

i've got a mindful of stuff now.

firstly, i cant make it on sunday to help dem.
cos i gotta go help my mom.
and i can onli leave at 1.
de thing is, my sister is buzy with her honors report.
and she's sorta under pressure from her prof.
so.. i hafta make it.

secondly, i cannot dun go. cos i haven been doing anything.
i cannot get ven.
and i think even if i can, i cant do much.
anyhow> i think they jus wan my presence felt.

thirdly, i haben been getting enough sleep.
and i jus came home and had my dinner at 2230...
and everyone comes and bombard me with qns and more qns, tt i cannot ans.
argh.

forthly, i'm worried sick about my sat.
i've yet to get my result.
and i've yet to completely memorising all de vocabs which i'm very sure i'll not be using them anytime soon.

fifthly, i'm really sick. yeah still sick.
de cough is like showin no signs of goin off.
and it gets worst at nite or in de morning....
it's irritating de hell out of me.

and i'm typing with my eyes closed.
i nid to go sleep.

waking up tml to jog and study.

tml will be a betta day.

hrmm...
started joggin today~
hahahaha
feels good.
it feels really good to be able to run and jump about again!!!
except tt at nite i still cough like hell..
wonder wat kind of cough is tis.
i onli cough at nite when i'm home...
argh

anyhow~~
hahaha
decided i'm actually getting alot for doin so little...
i can scan stuff and play computer games without worries.
cos they end up teaching me how to play de game...
and i was reading magazine today as well..
latest issue of YOU magazine, courtesy of mr yan~
hahahahaha
so act. i'm enjoying life. air con summore....
=p

oh yeah..
suppose to call tuition agency tml and tell 'em i'm free to tuition anytime of de day le...
cos i realised as long i sign in and sign out de rite timing, no one cares wat time i go there, wat time i leave..
hahaha
talk about flexible...

=p

good mood todayz

shall go off le~
waiting for boss to tell me all about his first day...
so where's he now?

hrmmm

hrmmm
well well
for those of u who are interested
my life is goin fine...
not much ups and downs lately
like wat pple say, ping fan shi fu..

yeapz.
begining to think i talk alot.
hahahaha
and no action.
i feel bad lah...
was into some things with the clique.
and i think i'm de onli one not doin anything.
am i really that busy?
i dunno.
somehow de time jus couldn't match with theirs.
i seems to be into alot of things that, in actual fact, are not impt.
k, whether impt or not, it's to individual standards.
sigh.
i can always say i haf alot of things to attend to.
gotta take up some fianancial burden at home.
gotta go ard finding a betta paying job in order to do that.
i hafta hope and pray that i get some tuition job to add on to my meagre pay.
but seriously, i think all of us are facing diff kinds of pressure in life. i may think they're leading a good life, free from worries.
but i jolly well noe that everyone has their own probs... so i'm beginning to think that, perhaps all those are jus excuses. to excuse myself from the responsibility. to excuse myself from making the effort to even be there...

but sometimes, it jus seems dat something is holding me back.

anyway>> i shall try to do wat i can... thou not much. hahaha i always feel useless ard em...but be it buying drinks, or running errands, at least i'm doin something....

anyhow, for my present job, thou i haf flexible hours and i can take leave as and when i like. de environment is fine.
but the pay is really little.
well, we win some, we lose some.
but i cannot take it when i haf to do scanning or photocopying of stuff..
k, so far its onli the third day of work.
we shld gif it some more time....
so i shan't comment tt much.

anyhow>> i'm seriously thinking of switching jobs.
something more interactive.
it's really not me to sit there from dunno when to dunno when.
i'd rather be serving pple in some restaurant.
and the pay is betta loh... $7/hr i get to talk to pple somemore.
i jus hope de venue is somewhere near home..
the travelling fare is really killing me.

hrmmm
looking at job agency online....
argh
i've concluded tt not one day can pass without money.
everything and anything has it's price.
so nez time when u say "money doesnt make the world go round" think again.

i hate it when i haf to worry bout $$...
i hate it when someone dear to me needs it and i can do nuthing about it...

damn

hey heyz
took leave today..
cos was drowsy after taking my medicine
still abit lite headed now...

hahah
sorrie din update these few days...
dunnoe wat to write actually...

but my life is great now.
hahaha
i think nothing could be betta...
all seems too good to be true for me.
but i'll jus hafta take a step at a time yeah?
no point worrying myself sick...

hahaha i AM sick..
hrmmm....

anyhow>> finally caught LOTR yesterday~
hahaha
wasn't really wat i expected.
i tot should be betta...
hahaha
maybe it was de medicine yeah?
i was more into de story den de effect yesterday...
perhaps i should catch it de second time.
=)

anyhow>> got tis doin phy qn job. and trying very hard to do all de qn... hahaha gotta hand up tis week end eh..
die die die.
some of em i cannot do !!!
=p
kenna threatened that if i dun do well for my phy i dun hafta see mr goh le.
idert~

yeah yeah...

"hardwork will not get u to the top, but it'll get u very near to the top"

"ideas will always remain as ideas when not acted upon"

hahah
these are things that everyone noes.
but jus how many can do it?
how many can do it well?
and hold on to em?

i hafta start today.

cheers

wr

hrmm
cant stop coughing eh..
mus be de 7up i drank during de wedding dinner...

de wedding dinner suxz
hahahaha
filled with uncles and aunties tt i've neva see b4 in my life.
no idea how to call em as well..
so jus hello uncle hello auntie all de way.
and we were too early.
i nearly grew roots at de table
and my cheeks hurt from smiling at de pple who came to talk to my grandpa.
cant singaporeans be abit more courteous? and be punctual?
wateva happen to de courtesy campaigne.
wasted all de money for nothing.
shld jus gif it out as ers as well...

hrmm
eat snake during work today
wahahha
cos i fin sorting my stuff rather early
den jus walk around talking to the teachers while they sort their stuff...
damn entertaining
a teacher was a nus biz stud b4
so asked her about biz fac.
apparently there's alot of project..
and she's from logistic.
so not my interest...
but got to noe more about choosing wat to study in u.
hahaha
shall worry bout tt later...
=p

hrmm
nuthin much happened today...

haha i told myself
i mus learn not to say "i wasn't told to do this... i wasn't informed of that..." or stuff lydat
cos i shld be more active.
to ask instead of waiting to be told.
i think everyone noe this but it's really qt tough to practise it.
bleai..
i shall try my best
hahahah
cos i'm still qt lazy.
=p

anyway. gotta go sleep le!
hiak hiakzz
tml gotta go help my mum.

nite nite

heh heh heh...
i'm in a good good mood today...
anyhow i hope things will remain as it is today.
i'll be de luckiest ger in de whole wide world.
=)

working from 12 to 5 tml...
tt's 5 hrs. so it's 25 bucks tml.
haiz.
i think i'm getting too lil.
but considering my working environment.
so frenly and free and easy. i really shouldn't complain anymore
i act. walk bare footed ard and ate tidbits in de centre
hahahah k k.. no students today. so nvm.
hahaha
den had de feeling i was swimming in pprs.
cos there was alot of sorting of pprs in a tuition centre.
i think my degree went up a whole lot jus cos of searching for de year and sch.

yeahh
and got free dinner
courtesy of a family fren
really nice food and i suppose the ambience if dere wasn't so many pple making noise in de little place.
would like to go there again. when i haf de means.
hahaha
yeahhhhh

k.
as all of u can see.
i'm on cloud no. 9.
i wonder wat will happen tml.
i think i'll fall back to 8th level of hell..
choy choy choy..
hopefully not.
=p

hahaha
finally understand wat's counting de hours while working
but today still not tt bad.
everytime i checked, half an hour would haf passed.
so rather fast.
i hope nez time it'll be one hour.
cos i heard i've got alot to do.
wah.. and i'm onli paid 5 bucks an hour.
they really noe how to save man.
damn...

not goin to d'l de software today.
cos i think i goin off soon
and not goin to see my tutor online.
=p

more sorting tml.
so i'll be busy.
hopefully
cos i wont be entertained.
till nite..........
anyway i'll be at a wedding dinner
hahaha
cos my cute ah gong wanna go.
=)

anyhow>>
i think i'm against goin into relationship now
hahahaha
not tt i'm turning into a fossil
but yah..dating is fine.
but bgr is too serious le...
cos i think :
de ger will suddenly wan more from de guy
time to accompany her, his attention, his care . yada yada yada
and de guy will start to want to convert his attention to something else. hahaha no i'm not slaming guys or wat. but i jus feel so ba...
sigh.
if onli everything can stay lydat.
but i noe things wont last.
cos de ger will start to ask for more. and de guy will start to move back.
or vice versa.

hahaha.
matters of de heart i can neva understand.

take care.
good nite
sweet sweet dreams.
*hugz*

HapPy NEw YEaR!!!
hahaha
k k
boliao

hrmmm
din really enjoy myself at zouk yesterday...
i seriously dislike crowds.
esp if i haf to move ard in it.
and de pple dancing... i wonder if they're dancing or jus jumping or jus rubbing themselves against others, males and females alike...
some pple can jus drink themselves silly and fall everywhere on de dance floor...
they look old eh...
but they dun act their age.
i mean thou u're suppose to relax and enjoy urself, but come'on lah, at least not to de extend of making a fool of urself yeah?
how to enjoy if u drink urself silly?
there's tis group of pple who formed a circle and they were obviously very drunk. cos they kept falling onto other pple.. jumping up and down... wah.. dunno wat de hell lah...
wonder wat happen aft de party's over..
they get throw out of de club? or they jus lie on de streets?
i'm curious..
hahahaha

i tink i was looking at pple more than clubbing.
see how pple dance, see how a fight nearly broke out on de dance floor, being aware of de pple ard me..
hahaha
to de extend some1 told me i'm too self conscious...
den wat? like de ger in his arms ah?
she got drunk and was practically hanging on him lah.
so i still believe strongly tt i shld get a group of really close frens to club with.
hahahah

yeap.
i left abt 2, reached home bout 2 plus. but talked to my fren till 4.
told him everything tt was troubling me.
hahaha
k k.. i think there's no trouble at all.
i jus found stuff to trouble myself wif...
no choice lah... too free lately ..
so mus find stuff to keep my mind occupied.
thou not very healthy stuff but, still can prevent rusting
whahaha

anyhow>>
i din haf a good day today.
i also noe we shldn't meet up everyday...
but yah.. noeing and doin is two diff thing ba..
at de very least i was hoping i get some reply
yet, there wasn't any.
hahah
shall cont tis in another blog.
=p

yup yup.
woke up at 11, slept aft i had my lunch.
till 6!
unbelievable.
den made arrangements to meet a couple of frens.
hahaha it act. took my mind off some stuff.
tt's why i can joke and luff now ba....
hahaha
half de time i was whining to niang niang thou.
sorry niang niang..
tot i was rather irritating.

argh

moving into another phase of my life tml...
working a part time job for qt a long time..
at least 3 mths.
sorta putting half a foot into the working society...
hrmm wonder wat kind of life tt'll be.
sucky?
exciting?
boring?
it'll def be tiring i think...
but think tt's wat i nid now.
stuff to keep me occupied. so i wont be thinking too much
hahahahah

yi ge ren bu suan kun rao
ai shui ran hen mei miao
que bu neng wei le ji mo
gen xian ru ni zhao

ai yao nai xing deng dai
zi xi xun zao
gan jue hen zhong yao
ning ke kong bai le shou
deng dai yi ci zhen xing de yong bao
wo xiang xing zai zhe ge shi jie shang
yi ding hui yu dao
dui de ren chu xian
zai yan jiao

liu guo de lei rang wo xue xi dao
ru he qu fen....
ai bu shi ying zhong xu yao..
..

lalalalla

betta day tml.

*looks ard*

hahaha
i'm wasting my life away as usual.

sleep till 1150 today and met my sister to go ktv.
I ENJOY SINGING!
thou i shouldn't be singing now.
hahaha
i'm actually arranging another session tml
but my frens yet to reply me.
guess i'll hafta do some calling later.

den again.
i was thinking, maybe i shld leave de last day of de year to myself.
u noe, sitting in my studies alone.
think of wat i haf done in de past year.
wat's good and wat's bad
so i can do betta nez year.
dun sound like me yeah?
but i think i shld do it once in a while.
=p

brb.
go take my contacts out....

yupzz
here i am~

and i gotta call tuition agency tml!
hahaha
i'm thinking of saving some money to buy secondary sch text bk
if i'm teaching sec sch maths..
but aft some calculations.. de amt is rather large.
sighz.

yeah..
decided tt i shld onli decide my dir in life when my results are out...
and i'm already freaking out about my results.
argh.
i really wonder what will happen if i flop tis.
i dun think i'll haf de courage to face it, and to start all over again.

anyhow>> beginning to wonder why some pple like clubbing so much.
personally, i enjoy goin with my frenz. dancin with em. drink with em
with de pple i noe.

i realised i'm getting afraid.
afraid of getting close with pple, guys esp.
not jus physically close, emotionally as well.
k, maybe not afraid.
jus denying any possibility tt anyone will "kan shang wo"
=)
hahaha i think tt's qt good thou.

i wanna earn money!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhaa
i wanna get my license by may.
go overseas in dec.
=)
my short term plan for de year.
*grinz*

we're frens again.
i'm glad.
at least i wont hafta feel bad.
think things are betta this way ba...

act. sometimes i'll still feel lonely.
=p
no one there specially for me.
no one to listen and talk to me everyday.
no one dat i can sha jiao to.
no one i can make lil things for.
no one to take care of me.
hahaha
this is wat pple call freedom.
freedom = doin all de things u wan anytime, anywhere.
emptiness = too much time, dunnoe wat to do.

i think i feel empty.
i cant think of things i wanna do.
seriously.
except goin out with frens for coffee, ktv session, shopping, movie.
i nid something to commit to.
feels like a kite without string attached.
feels like a boat lost at sea.

de kite might look free without de string, but without de string, de kite can onli fly where de wind carries it. no dir of its own.
think it's true for me.
as a student.
as a person.

been studying most of de time.
now dat i've graduated from jc, i really dunnoe where i'm heading, wat am i suppose to do.
sad life ah?

so i aspire to travel!
hahaha
out of singapore.
to learn other things.
to widen my horizon...
to noe more pple

hahaha
i think i crap too much..
gtg
=)

happy new year...

hiak hiak hiakZzz
i'm in a rather good mood today.

went GH with my grandpa today for his appointments with de docz
rather positive
they say he has recovered
and de cancer cells are under control
so great news
thou we spent de whole morning sitting at de couch. waiting.
de air in hospital really bad.
i got a headache there..
blahzz

anyhow>>
came home and slept. or shld i say went into coma.
no idea why i was dead tired.

and i went cwp with my aunt and mom in de evening!
hahaha
and i got a pair of black pants out of it.

on top of tt>> i'm damn happy
hahaha

cant wait for tml~
i'm goin ktv!!!
but i'm still coughing non stop eh
wonder if i should stay home...
and wait for my dinner.
*deep tots*

or go walk walk with some1 else
RAH
decisions. =|

hrmm
i'm too busy to haf any chim tots nowadays.
feel like a bloody brainless ger nowadays eh..
living like a zombie

i shall spend some time to myself tml.
oh yeah>> and to find a tuition agency tml morning.

=)
gtg
byez

i'm still in a daze.
i din really took de medicine today thou.
guess my brain lacks oxygen.
cos both my nostrils are blocked.
I CANT BREATHE!...

argh

yeah!
i had a pleasant surprise today
due to my bad memory or my lousy hearing or eyesight
*grinz*
ignorance can sometimes be a bliss.
hiak hiak hiak...

haha k k tt was a really diff tone altogether.

anyhow>> i think i'll haf to sleep early today.
cos tml goin hospital with my cute ah gong.
to check up.
wonder wat time will de whole thing end...

act. i'm rather brain dead.
i cant write a blog now..
i'll come back to u when i get my brain organized.

cheers
=0
wr

no mood to write blog today
TMD

i'm not goin to eat yun tun for a good long while....
for those who understands wat yun tun means.. sorrie to spoil ur appetite...
for those who dun, i suggest u dun find out...

anyhow..
i still cant feel my head, or my limbs after take 2 doses of medication...
strangely, it feels like when i'm tipsy..
so tis is wat pple call high aH?
i feel rather stupid lydat eh...
anyhow>> i cant really think str8 now...
so.. yeah.. hahaha i'll jus type anything tt comes to my mind yeah?
as usual anyhow..

oh yeah...
i think de onli good thing dat came out of my losing voice exp is tt i finally started reading LOTR tt was lying on my table for .. about 2 wks..
hahaha.. it's really nice eh..
even when de medicine was acting on my, i cont reading...
dun think i shld cont later.. maybe tml.. cos its rather late le..
mus take care of myself.. no one take care of me...*sigh*

hahaha
k k
tt's a load of rubbish...
i haf my very cute ah gong.
he's so nice eh..
cook porridge for me
den keep walking in and out of de kitchen, asking me if i wan this or dat.
told me not to wash de dishes cos he tot i'm still having flu, but in actual fact i'm having sore throat and cough now..
anyhow>> i very guai-ly left de dishes hahahaha patients must be good rite?
yeah>> i think he cant stop worrying about me ba. yesterday my situation already qt bad.. he told me not to go to my aunt house in de afternoon.. but i still went.. =p
hahaha bad bad me.. made my ah gong worry...
i think cos he was a patient not long ago.. so he understands how bad i feel.. sigh.. i think what i went thru was nuthing compared to him.. i already felt like like dying yesterday..
imagine him goin thru all dat for a few weeks....

good thing he's recovered!
*grinz*
and i'm on my way to recovery!!!
*grinz grinz*

heng no one called this few days.

hahahah
my mum damn cute..
jus now she called.
i picked up..
den she was like "why ur voice still lydat?"
...
hahaha guess she too worried le ..
aft yesterday i woke up 6 in de morning...
and told her i cant swallow even my saliva..
=p

yeah..
i guess one cant have everything in de world.
i haf a great family. and i'm thankful for it.
shan't ask for too much
hahaha
u gain some, u'll lose some...

think i shld go to bed le...
=)
i cant wait for monday to come...
hiakz hiakz hiakz

i'm gone~

merry merry x'mas to all of u out there.

cant say i'm having a good christmas eve thou.
i was bed ridden since yesterday nite.

as usual, i sneeze too hard and too many times.
until i got a sore throat.
i caught a cold.
very bad cold.
i slept at 11 plus, wanted to go to bed earlier, but boss they all wanted to come my house initially. so had to wait up.
in de end they din come.
much to my relieve thou.
i was in no state to take care of em.
din even greet my sis nor my parents when they came home....

tis morning my cold and sorethroat escalated into fever.
really good to haf a sister.
she made me go over to eat breakfast (swiss roll)
and made me eat panadol...
only den she went to sch.

aft i woke up and had my porridge, prepared by my dearest ah gong,
i felt betta alreadi.
den my sec sis left de house.
so technically i was left alone at home until my parents came back in de afternoon.
they brought home tis really big vegetarian bao.. really appetizing...
and i felt betta.
so i had half of it.
and 2 mouths of my dad's duck rice.
wonder which of it left me tossing and turning in bed later in de afternoon.
wanted badly to puke cos my sore throat was really uncomfortable.
and coughing really made me wanna puke.
finally puke in de evening....
den went over to get some sympathy....
my unker asked if i wanna watch LOTR... argh.. i wan to!!!!
but i cant.

after i had porridge, again, courtesy of my ah gong whch taste really good, i wrapped myself up in my unker's room watching who wans to be a millionaire..
den my bones were really killing me..
i took some ying qiao and came back over....
back to bed... all alone...
i had to be all alone on a christmas eve..
i'm really qt sad.
i wonder was i really tt mean?
i feel like a total failure in life.
from last nite till jus now.
onli 2 ppl noe i'm down will flu.
no one else msged me...
no one called.

boss said he wanted to ask me out>> but tot i might haf plans le so din...
so, am i too successful? or pathetic?

i read bosses' blog jus now...
i haf to admit i'm envious of her.
i mean how many gers get to haf guys doin all dat for em?
i'm not greedy ba..
i jus nid one.
sigh.

i dun like to be alone.
or rather i was hoping they'll be online...
looks like there's no miracles on christmas either...

i'm really wallowing in self pity now....

act. i feel betta in front of de comp..
feels like i'm connected to de world...
at least i noe i'm not alone ...
talk about pathetic...

i cant really think now...
i'm jus typing wateva tt's coming to my mind...

some bloody idert jus cant stop asking me about my break up.
WHAT THE FUCK.
he act. asked me "why always gers break up with guys"
wah.. damn it
it's as if i'm so damn happy breaking up with him
it's as if i wanted so bad to break up wit him
it's as if i was toying his feelings all along
it's as if i am in de wrong.

i think anger is much betta feeling than sorrow.
at least i feel more alive.

sigh.
i was hoping one of em to call me.

argh

no special tots to post today eh...
jus wanna tell everyone that centro got bad management
uberture cannot find good place to organize their "beauty paegent"
on de whole yday rather sucky.

=p
centro is damn ex as well.
either tt or they purposely push de price up yday.

once again>> we're taught of de harsh reality in society today.
everything involves money.
and de amt it involves will onli increase with time.
so can somebody tell me again, why are de teens in sg growing more and more materialistic and motivated more by money than anything else.
not onli is de education sys not working.
de society itself .
de family unit itself.
has problems, and flaws in the upbringing of de limited amt of younger generation.

but den again.
who am i to comment so much?

i'll jus appear cynical.
to others, i'll jus be another person, unhappy to be a sg.
a quitter.
someone who onli critize de country but doin nuthing.
rite> i've yet to contribute anything to de society.

tt's why i'm writing all tis in my blog, and not in a bk.
partly also becos of my lousy eng thou.

yeah.
tt's my two cents worth today.

wr

i've still got a mindful of things goin on in my head.
i really think i shld empty my schedule nz week.
to haf time to sit ard, by myself. think of my life, my goals.
where am i heading.
what issit i really want in life.

suddenly i feel like being a teacher.
hahaa
guess i'm rather influenced.
perhaps i wanna make an impact on some1 else.
be it 1, 2 or 20, 30 pple..

hahaa
but i'll haf to get my degree first.
*grinz*

yupZ
=)

i hope my blog has inspire some souls out there...
or at least entertained all of u.
=)

wr

man.
i feel that i've jus wasted 18 years of my life.
compared to him
i think i've wasted EVERY single sec this 2 wks.
he has surpassed de "eligible bachelor guy" stage to a zhi ji
someone whom i wouldn't dare to date in fear of losing him as a fren
someone whom i doubt i'll date due to circumstances.
someone who can really get me thinking about life, about goals, looking into de inner self.

i'm learning how to practise what i preach.
i'm finding de true goal in my life.
looking for things that really matter in my life.

man, i jus cant get enough of talking bout such intangible stuff.
thankz~.

another significant day in my life.
reminds me de analogy about self motivating leaders as fire starters
and leaders as charcoal, not knowin their own potential.
i guess i'm a piece of charcoal that needs constant liting from fire starters.
hahaha
wat a lousi piece of charcoal.

yup> he might be leaving sg for good
tt's rather sad piece of news
but i've learn something

no one is obliged to be there for anyone.

=)

i think i need time to find myself.
do some soul searching
b4 2003 ends.
b4 stepping into a new year.

today's meeting has not disappoint me a bit at all.

and i realised as well today
that i've not been as good a fren i tot i was all along.
i wasn't sensitive enough
rather self centred.
always completing other's sentences for others
most of all, i think i haven't been practising what i preached.

i realised i cant really change how pple think.
as much as i hope they'll change for e betta < according to my stds
i realised they might not see me as a figure important enough to cause an impact on their perspective of life.
they haf diff influences in their lives, diff fam backgrd.

i'm working towards being a better fren.
i suppose i'll try.
i dun see it as accomodating them
i see it as learning
learning to communicate with them.

i onli see it now.

i'll see it thru.

wr

yada yada..
i'm rather brain dead now.
nothing much happened today
brought my lil sister swimming
and gave her a lecture.... or rather a lesson on how to apologise.
hahahaha
k k
made her cry~
my mum says i'm sadist.
whahahaha
but needed to teach her a lesson...

so...
I"M NOT A SADIST!

LOL...

k k
feel betta today.
not much time to think too much
gotta wake up early tml...

suppose to sleep early ba...
but dunwan to go sleep.
*grinz*

so....
dunnoe shld i sleep today not..
hahahah
tis is worst that when i'm preparing for a's...

yeahh...
19 is tis fri~!
hiakz hiakz

k k
take care

wr

hrm
i feel like crying aft reading their blogs.
i think i've already forgotten wat it means to be a gd fren.
i dunnoe wat am i suppose to do to be a gd fren.

or maybe it has no definition?
i can feel their presence even thou they're not near.
i can relate to their situation, their conversation, even thou we have not met for a few months.
i can laugh and cry with them, get angry for something that does not even concern me with em.
i haf not told these pple i'm consider them as good fren.
i neva labelled anyone as good fren at all.
but i noe deep down inside, these are the pple i wanna keep in my life forever.
meeting em once in a while, get to know their situation.

there're also pple whom i lost contact, emotionally and physically. for as long as a year. den i realised that, i was that close with her. i've finally found her back. but u cant imagine how bad i feel when i heard wat hap to her in dat year. in a year when she needed frens de most. in a situation when i knew if someone was there for her, she'll be able to recover much faster. i cannot forgive myself.

did i tell her : hey, we're de best of frens. u're my gd fren.

no.

i think it's less of wat u say.
more of what u do.

to some whom i believe is not worth it, i usually dun gif much attention to.
to pple whom i see as a gd fren, one call and i'll be there.
i'm not trying to sound noble.
but these are the pple who were there for me.
whom i tot of when i was in deep shit
and turn up for me.
niang niang is one eg ba...

perhaps u all might see me as selfish,
onli when pple treat u well den u treat him/her well.
but tt's how i work.
tt's de diff standards that pple have.
tis is mine.

=)
well, i noe we're still close frens ba...
i dun ask for u all to be there for me all de while.
bi jing, we all haf our own lives.
i mean, in my life, a few gd frens is good enough for me.

hao peng you ying gai hai xu yao yi dian yuan fen ba.

thankz.