Me. Myself & i

merry merry x'mas to all of u out there.

cant say i'm having a good christmas eve thou.
i was bed ridden since yesterday nite.

as usual, i sneeze too hard and too many times.
until i got a sore throat.
i caught a cold.
very bad cold.
i slept at 11 plus, wanted to go to bed earlier, but boss they all wanted to come my house initially. so had to wait up.
in de end they din come.
much to my relieve thou.
i was in no state to take care of em.
din even greet my sis nor my parents when they came home....

tis morning my cold and sorethroat escalated into fever.
really good to haf a sister.
she made me go over to eat breakfast (swiss roll)
and made me eat panadol...
only den she went to sch.

aft i woke up and had my porridge, prepared by my dearest ah gong,
i felt betta alreadi.
den my sec sis left de house.
so technically i was left alone at home until my parents came back in de afternoon.
they brought home tis really big vegetarian bao.. really appetizing...
and i felt betta.
so i had half of it.
and 2 mouths of my dad's duck rice.
wonder which of it left me tossing and turning in bed later in de afternoon.
wanted badly to puke cos my sore throat was really uncomfortable.
and coughing really made me wanna puke.
finally puke in de evening....
den went over to get some sympathy....
my unker asked if i wanna watch LOTR... argh.. i wan to!!!!
but i cant.

after i had porridge, again, courtesy of my ah gong whch taste really good, i wrapped myself up in my unker's room watching who wans to be a millionaire..
den my bones were really killing me..
i took some ying qiao and came back over....
back to bed... all alone...
i had to be all alone on a christmas eve..
i'm really qt sad.
i wonder was i really tt mean?
i feel like a total failure in life.
from last nite till jus now.
onli 2 ppl noe i'm down will flu.
no one else msged me...
no one called.

boss said he wanted to ask me out>> but tot i might haf plans le so din...
so, am i too successful? or pathetic?

i read bosses' blog jus now...
i haf to admit i'm envious of her.
i mean how many gers get to haf guys doin all dat for em?
i'm not greedy ba..
i jus nid one.
sigh.

i dun like to be alone.
or rather i was hoping they'll be online...
looks like there's no miracles on christmas either...

i'm really wallowing in self pity now....

act. i feel betta in front of de comp..
feels like i'm connected to de world...
at least i noe i'm not alone ...
talk about pathetic...

i cant really think now...
i'm jus typing wateva tt's coming to my mind...

some bloody idert jus cant stop asking me about my break up.
WHAT THE FUCK.
he act. asked me "why always gers break up with guys"
wah.. damn it
it's as if i'm so damn happy breaking up with him
it's as if i wanted so bad to break up wit him
it's as if i was toying his feelings all along
it's as if i am in de wrong.

i think anger is much betta feeling than sorrow.
at least i feel more alive.

sigh.
i was hoping one of em to call me.

argh