Gonna be quite an emo blog today..
Always get emo when i read other people's blogs..
As i was reading my close friends' blogs, everyone is going through so much, yet i'm always caught up with whatever i'm doin..

Then it seems as if i've left my friendships behind me to chase after certain dreams.. And when i looked back, they aren't there anymore. Or perhaps things wont be the same anymore..

Some have changed somehow, and i guess i just dunnoe this person. Some are less trusting, some have less to tell u, some have gone thru some things which changed them forever..

And i wonder, do they feel the same when they look at me. have i changed so much that they cannot recognised me anymore? Am i someone who stop telling them things because i can't seem to feel the bond to want to tell them anything?

Can i do anything to find that friendship again? The kind of trust that if anything were to happen to me, i'll find someone out there willing to cry with me? The kind of confidence that if anything should happen to him/her, i'll be there no matter what i am doing.

Some of my friends have been disillusioned by what friendship means when they weren't treated with the same degree of commitment they put in.. They devoted themselves too much for friends, and they were hurt.

Friends, something so important yet so dispensible.. So difficult to define yet so necessary.. When you have so many so called friends, but so few whom you really can relate to..

I miss them.. Not because my birthday is near. Not because i'm having a 3 months' break.
I miss those times with them. But those times are gone.. When i see u today, you aren't the you i know that time, i'm no longer the me.

So emo... Must be the weather....

went to chijmes, man u was really a let down. Sorry, pal. They've made too many mistakes to say that they've put up a good fight. The whole sucky episode had to end with wayne rooney hurting himself. Good luck England, he has one month to sleep in the oxygen room to recover, i'm sure the whole of england can afford that.

just read the papers today.. amidst all the election reports that i cannot mention here, i finally saw something that i can and actually want to talk about!!!
I cant remember the exact headline but the report was about how singapore's working adults (23-26) still receive allowance from their parents, (and pretty shamelessly think they're entitled to it...)

I'm not complaining when they talked about singaporean adults living with their parents way pass their 30s. but taking allowance from their parents instead of giving them? That's a little too much for me..

If these KIDS are having problem getting by, unable to pay their bills, their transport, perhaps earning 900 per month, then i probably cannot comment. HOWEVER, they are taking the money, on top of their $1,600, $2,200, $3,300 monthly allowance, to upkeep their LIFESTYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!! Chanel bags, feragamo(dunno wat is this) shoes. HELLO??? And the best part is, they pay !!! TOKEN SUM!!!! to their parents just so they THINK they are not taking their parents for granted..

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SOCIETY COMING TO!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
what are the stupid parents doing?!?!?!?!? Are they representing the kind of products our education system churns out year after year??

And check out what the parents say "if i dont give it to them, who am i going to give the money to?" "This way, i feel we are able to bond"...
All i see, is a pathetic attempt at keeping the bond between the parent and the child. After 20 over years of slogging, to give the best to ur child, you've lost the chance to walk with him/her throughout the growing up phrase. You've lost the ability to communicate with ur child and you've lost your child to gucci bags and fendi wallets.

The only way u know, u can is to upkeep that habit of his/hers... Then you still have a hold over him/her, only then you can make sure he/she will still talk to you..

Because you know, once you've lost that hold over them, nothing is stopping them to treat u like an invisible sheet of paper..

Because you know, you haven done your part, to teach them about fillial piety, manners, morals, and all the things important to a person..

Because you know, he/she has grown up to be a machine.. all the hardware, lack of software.

How i love singapore.

2 days before my last paper, i have halt the syllabus waiting for me..

I'm at a lost. Kept telling myself i will be fine as long as i do as much as i can. Tellin myself i can push myself thru this. 2 more days and it'll be heaven..

Now i'm not sure anymore.

Even you have given up hope on me... I guess i'm really beyond hope.
When you walked out, I told myself any emotions can only find me after my exams. I must not fall at this juncture. Still, so much is flooding me at this moment..
I can't handle so much yet i know of no one to turn to.

Before i find the courage in me to plough through this, i will have to deal with absolute loneliness.

Cheers people.
Wenrong

I wont be blogging for a long time. Here're the details for my chalet:

Date: 27th - 29th May (Celebration will be on 27th May Saturday)
Time of celebration: 630pm
Venue: Changi Yacht Club Bungalow B
For Map click here
I will send a sms invitation after my exams. You can help my RSVPing me earlier to prepare.
(Note: If you don't plan to come, pls tell me before i sms you.)
Please RSVP me if you are coming and staying over.


Regards,
WR

Been a long time since i posted something, tot i'll do it today since i'm a little tipsy.. Just went to a friend's birthday party at MOS.. Kind of gave me some idea of what to write for my blog, rather, i felt something strong enough to be written about..

For the longest time i have been telling people, if ur 'so called friends' can't be bothered with you, then to hell with them. I try to put that into practise myself. But somehow or rather, when people grow older and nearer to the age of 21, they tend to get more naive (though sci still haven figure out how) and they start to open themselves to all kinds of nonsense that they normally wont.
For example, your's truly here, decided to book a chalet for not one, not two but three nights to celebrate her birthday. (the third night is really an innocent mistake)
Hoping that her close friends will stay over for the first night and her juniors can have the chalet for the second, she went ahead happily with the booking. Thinking that all will work out well and fine.
At long last, murphy's law forbids that things should go as they do in ur head. Her 'close friends' started telling her that either they won't be staying or they cannot confirm staying. At this juncture, i should thank the two girls who immediately replied me and told me they'll stay. Because i should conc on who's coming, instead of who's not. Since they cannot 'take the trouble' to stay over, den perhaps they don't deserve the space. (except some who are working full time, like KW who has to fly almost every day...)

Niang niang who gungho-ly told me she'll stay for all the days available. hahahah and dying to play mahjong. Girl, i hope you're glad to know not many people will be competing with you for the table...

Shannon who told me she'll be able to stay on the 27th once i msg her.. Thank you girl, though you seldom can stay out, i appreciate this very much.

For someone who can spend her birthday abroad with no supposed close friends around, i can hardly think of an excuse for myself to be so stupid this time.
I have half the mind cancelling the whole thing. Look, when even your boyfriend ask you is it alright not to go, you've got to start questioning really, "is there something wrong with me?"

21st birthday - is it really important?
Yeap, there's only one 21st, but there's also only one 22nd, 23rd, 24th.... So wat's so special about 21st?

21st is special for me. N only i will know the significance. It means i have stepped into another phrase in my life, i can make decisions legally for myself.
It means i can get married without my parents' approval, go do something that might risk killing myself without a consent form, and work in a lawfirm as an intern without asking my parents to indemnify me.
I am responsible for myself.
I shout out to the whole world, that i can make decisions for myself.

When you are 18, ur decisions are not good enough... Your choice is being queried. You are being lead on.
What if i'm 21 and i still make the same choice?

"Remember, remember...the fifth of November, the Gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder treason ever should be forgot."

Sigh..

Since this is the year that most of my friends turn 21, i got all excited after attending two parties, and decided to start planning my own. Thinking i'll have the kind of treatment that my two elder sisters had, my maternal aunts and uncles gave them Ang baos and celebrated their birthday..
My third aunt, one who has the most say around the house, just told me that if i don't do well this sem, i can forget about celebrating my birthday.
I'm not too sure how to take this.. (not my gemini nature acting up..) I guess on one hand you can say that she has so much confidence in my brains, that even i don't have. Thinking that with some incentive, maybe i'll perform to the fullest potential.
On the other, i just feel.. helpless. I really really don't think i'll be able to do well. It's as if someone is telling me, unless the world is flat, we will celebrate your birthday. But i'm sure she's got my interests at heart. However, using my results as a condition is more depressing than anything.
How can i explain to her, that it is not within my control? (Insert the whining about bad results here)

I can feel myself giving up the struggle. From a law school hopeful to someone who is just trying to stay afloat. I know becoming negative wont help, but i guess i cannot face anymore disappointment. At some point, you let urself down so badly, that you start joking about it. It doesn't necessary mean you have accepted the fact, just means you have given up. Why fight it when the jokes will come anyway.

I still rem how i told paul last sem, that i want to prove to others that i can fight for the good grades... Now, i'm not even participating in class.

It is easy to back out. I told myself, if they don't want to celebrate my 21st, den i'll just have a simple affair. I guess if the verdict is such, i don't even want to celebrate if i miraculously do reasonably do well. Perhaps it's too extreme to say that my happiness is judged by my results, but that's the way i feel..

At the end of the day, i still want to believe if you really put your mind to it, you will be able to do it...

Cheers,
WR

Sore loser Jose Moaninho has voiced his support for Benfica in their CL game against Liverpool tonight.

The true potugeese told the press that he has always been a Benfica fan even though he was with Barcelona before joining Chelsea. He never said this before until his team got kicked out of Champions League. Why? If his english team cannot get through, he doesn't want other english teams to get into the final 8, what sore, spoilt brat, loser.
Without anything to complain about the referee who awarded chelski their last minute penalty, in case this big head team lose too badly and risk getting death threats, our 'special one' decided to continue harping on the first leg. "We haven't seen 11 v 11"... Whole load of BS. If your pitch was in a better condition, even with 12 people, i'm pretty sure Ronaldinho will still kick your sorry A**.

Kaos.. Lose den lose laH! Don't give excuses k!

It's a good day...
Will continue to be one when liverpool wins :D

Waiting for 4 am.... meanwhile, i shall pass my time by doing my tutorial...

Regards,
WR

This is hilarious - Man U fans, no offense..

Cheers

It is official, my allergy to Lux-shower cream. (No, not my dropping out of law school, at least not yet...) As soon as i applied it, my left hand started itching. I wonder why medication doesn't act as half as fast?
Anyway, i saw a movie today! Big news, because i haven seen a movie since ... when? i can't rem. Starring Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Cosner - Rumour has it. I particularly like the following conversation.

"I know this isn't the kind of things parents tell their children, but the day your mother came back, we conceived you."
"But you know, dad, i'm so different. I never liked tennis, i drive like a mad person and you drive so slowly!"
"I drive slowly only because you are in the car."
erm, i think at this time i have to explain, Nope, Kevin Cosner did not act as Jennifer's dad... But that's not the point of the conversation...
The conversation, filled with so much love, unconditioned love from a parent to a child. This love, it is without any strings attached, from deep within. So much of it that he has changed his character, his style, because he is afraid that something bad might chance upon his precious girl. This, is the love of a parent, this, is pure love.
Nothing in the world can compare to this, absolutely nothing. It doesn't matter if your parents are chinese, american, english, malay, educated, less educated - they love you the best way they know how...
As bad as you get it outside, you come home and bask in the warmth of their love.

I did something wrong today. I couldn't understand my readings and fell asleep, only waking up when my parents came home in the afternoon. Really bothered by the lack of time and patience, i lost my temper with my mom when she asked me if i was alright. She walked out without a frown and i know she was sad, but she completely understands me. She din flew into a rage and complain why are we always venting our frustration at her. She doesn't come home in the middle of the night and start throwing things around, justifying it by saying 'you guys do it too, why cant i?'. She'll never think about how much we love her but always and will never stop loving us... she always talks about the possibility of leaving once we are independent...

I always wonder why some people value their romantic love more than the love of their parents... Are they even comparable? I don't think i'll ever find a man who can love me like she does, other than my dad, of cos...

With Love,
WR

"The greatest victory to evil, is for the good to do nothing."
This was what my friend told me yesterday, not sure if i got it right but still, very meaningful. My letter to the forum wasn't published, perhaps too minute an issue for the national papers. Kind of disappointed, still i hope i can do something more to help those students. But not being related to the incident anyhow, just makes me a nosey person.
I just wish the parents can stand up for their children, not for the academic achievement but a right that this kids ought to have. To stop being oppressed by the unreasonable demands of the school. Passive parents can only result in passive children. So who do we blame for the indifference in our society?
Disillusioned as i may be, i still think the next generation can be educated correctly. I believe that if we all do our part in educating them, they won't turn out to be like most of us, often wondering if we're just a small pawn in the great economy of Singapore.
I do what i can with my tuition kids. Perhaps they may not be the scholars of their batch, but i'd like to think that at least i'm a positive influence in their lives, teaching them about choices, etc.
Sigh. Bleak...

Regards,
WR


Thank you for writing to us. We do appreciate your making the effort.

We receive 70 letters on average each day. Limited space means we can publish only about a dozen every weekday.
This means having to make often-difficult editorial judgments on which letters to publish.

We regret we are unable to publish your letter this time, and hope you will appreciate the constraints on space we face every day.
We hope you will continue taking an interest in the Forum Page.


Yours sincerely


Ms Noor Aiza
for Forum Editor
The Straits Times

i guess i will spend my morning writing a letter to the forum for my aunt's student.
hMmmm

I'll write my draft here.. actually, since it doesn't concern me, i have no idea how to write LOL. But it is about education, so i shall try...

MOE Policy regarding student's choice of subject
I am writing regarding the policy of one particular boys' school in Bishan which requires students, who had done relatively well for normal chinese, to drop their higher chinese and concentrate on getting distinction for the former subject. I would like to know if the MOE allows for such imposition.
The student in question had obtained a B3 for his O' Level Mother Tongue, hence his parents and him believe that he will do relatively well for his Higher Chinese. This is important for his aggregate scores because he will be allowed to deduct two points so long as he passes his Higher Mother Tongue.
However, it has been told to them that those who did not achieve a distinction for their Mother Tongue must drop their places in Higher Mother Tongue. This, in fact, has robbed the students their choices and possibly a fighting chance to their dream schools.
I can understand that the school wishes the students to do well in the basic subject before taking on a seemingly more advance course. However, as a student myself, i believe that these students should be given a choice, instead of imposing it on them. Moreover, this student and i'm sure many others are well capable of securing the 2 points deduction, which can make a difference to their scores.

By imposing such policy on students, it is questionable the direction the school is taking. It seems that the school has ignored the individual element, instead, only interested in achieving a seemless track record for itself. Aren't schools suppose to be nurturing thinking students who can make choices for themselves? In order to train responsible citizens we ought to allow students to make their own choices.

I sincerely hope MOE will look into this matter as soon as possible to give these students a justified answer.

I want to play, i don't want to study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
argh....

This NYP sex scandal thing has been going around a few days. Initially, i thought there were too many people talking about it and i kind of pity the girl, hence i din plan on talking about it here. But i just read about her telling the papers that she didn't think she did anything wrong. And i decided to pen my two cents worth here, before i start my trust paper, to get my brain juice flowing.

Well, like i told my uncle, there is nothing morally or legally wrong with taking nude, sex videos for own viewing. Both consenting adults (or rather, capable of consenting in the eyes of law) involved, for watever reason they took it is besides the point.
Nothing wrong definitely, but down right stupid.
1) "It is nothing wrong because everyone is doing it"
Like what my uncle used to tell me when i was younger "Everyone goes and jump down, you jump down also?" This episode is very telling of the sense of right and wrong that teenages (or even youth, the guy is 21) have. If everyone does it, then it must be right. Or rather, if i do it, i shouldn't be deemed as doing a wrong thing.
Whatever happened to principles? To moral values? The line isn't drawn by each individual, but by others.

2) If you want to video ur bed scenes, keep it properly, securely.(if you don't intend to be a porn star)
I'm sure the january Straits Times made it pretty clear how many mobile fones Singapore lose in a year. I believe 22 phones are lost a day. (but to be frank, i don't think cheerleaders read the papers very much..hahah, tt's just me talking.) K, i don't think teenagers nowadays read the papers very much. Hence, if you wish to take something so private, and keep it so, you should have uploaded to a laptop and save it in a CD or even DVD. How much memory can a hp have, seriously? Unless as my uncle suggest, u wanna watch it everywhere u go or show it to your friends?
Paul made a very valid point that no one expects to lose their fones, which i entirely agree.
But everyone knows there is a possibility of losing fones.(when it is getting smaller and smaller everyday) You don't have to expect to lose a fone to secure such information, if that information is so private and important to you
Even if you don't expect to lose ur fone, you risk having friends picking up ur fone to play with. I say this with the assumption that that person in question has not showed her friends the video (which of cos, we are assuming it is for private entertainment).

3) Her fone was stolen, the videos uploaded on the internet.
Logically speaking, if you can 'forget' about having a sex video on ur fone, then probably your friends have all watched it. So, words probably have gotten out that you have such a video. Hence, someone intended to steal it in order to humiliate you publicly (perhaps internationally)
So if we trace this back, are we back to the stupid argument? or something more? On the evening news, it was reported that many JC students have taken nude pictures of themselves and their partners in order to show their friends. It was considered 'hip' and 'cool' and of cos, everyone was doing it (which in teenish, means 'right') In this sense, i'm not too sure if it was merely stupid, or simply vain and wanting to be 'trendy'. It can even be peer pressure. to quote a friend of mine, some of this videos 'it is obvious that these girls are performing for the camera'. All these seem to point to the direction of 'showing off' rather than private consumption.

There is nothing wrong with being stupid. It is lawful to be stupid. In fact, people like to know you're stupid. You don't go to jail, you just go on the headlines.

With all due respect,
Wenrong

hahaaahah!!!
It must be a good day today!!!!
Barca won the first leg in Champions League first knock out round agains the Blue 2-1, at Chelsea's 'potato field'!!!!
Although there was one own goal each from the two teams, Eto'o gave the visitors the edge 10 mins before the game was over...
hahahahha
THE BEST PART:
Chelsea's Del Horno was sent off after tackling the unstoppable Messi. Soccernet termed it as a 'mistimed tackle' which did not justify a red card. But the Argentinian 'rolled in the mud and the Barca players reacted as if he has been murdered'.
I would have stand up for any other team if they were penalised for such play acting, but i have to say this:
CHELSEA DESERVES IT!!!! muahahahhahhaha
To think that mourinho had the cheek to warn his players of Barcelona's players' acting skills. His own Robben is an Oscar winner himself.

And let's not even get to the state of the field. mourinho actually said that pretty people may not be intelligent, ugly might not mean stupid to explain the state of his field!! Friend, ugliness don't affect the intelligence, but i'm pretty sure a bare field will affect the play on the field. What kind of lousy comparison is this?

WooHoo!! and the underdog, Arsenal won Real Madrid 1-0 as visitor!!!! Nothing against Real but with so many super stars but you cant stop Thiery Henry and a team of young players... Shows that money cannot buy everything in the world!!! YEahhhhh
Way to go!

Muahahahah this is a good day to start my trust assignment. :p
Btw, even thou Liverpool lost 1-0 to Benfica in the first leg, i'm sure we'll get it back!!!!

wooHoo!!! Start of my term break!!!! Guess what? I have two assignments due by the end of this one week break... from two 8 credits module. I'd rather not have the break...

argh.
I'm still stuck with my consti law assignment.. i have no idea what to write. But i'll try. Sigh. I think i feel defeated right from the time i read the question, totally no confidence in tackling this. I guess this is the effect of getting too many Cs - in the end you start to question your abilities from the beginning. Puiz.

No life.
My friends have been trying to ask me out a few times... I have no choice but to turn them down. Tuitions, assignments, tutorial, never ending. So many things that you stop doing them, stop wanting to finish them and just watch TV...

Gotta write my resume soon, i don't want to end up like last year, missing the deadline and then do nothing constructive for the rest of my holidays (as much as i want to do that)

I'm just so lazy that sometimes i am amazed at my own laziness. Not hardworking and meticulous enough. i wonder what kind of job can i do nex time... Clean toilet mayb.. dunnid to be too meticulous for that.

Argh... I need to change!!!!!!!!!
HOW?

"I know I have not won against them since coming here and I am being told we haven't beaten them in the FA Cup for 85 years. That has surprised me but it is time to change all those statistics," Rafael said.

HAhahah ERROR.. Paiseh...
I have much to learn and remember :p

Chee On Judicial Independence- another bankruptcy of opposition in Singapore

I've read it but as usual, failed to impress me. Anyhow, people should read it to judge for themselves.
A piece of article, if charged with so much emotions, is difficult to have any academic value. Many examples, many quotes but somehow, it failed to point how what kind of role does judiciary play as part of the three arms of government. Secondly, the piece fail to take into consideration the good of our judicial system, which will definitely be brought up if PAP were to reply to this article(IF).
The worst argument is by bringing up quotes from organisations in other countries. We dont really give two hoots about what other liberal democratics say about our system, don't he understand that by now?
What does the law say? What does the Constitution say? What does the normal practice say? What is wrong with having no lawyer to represent you? I believe if he lists these out instead, he would have gotten more empathy from Singaporeans instead of quoting the ang mohs.

Well, by publishing this, as someone has said, he must have thought that once he is bankrupt, they no longer can punish him for what he says. That's probably why he cc this to MM Lee. What is his point? Is he telling others how bias the judiciary is? Is he complaining?

I cant help but draw an analogy to a situation of a rebellious child, who'd do anything just to upset his parents.
By losing the suit, he has lost all credibility EVEN if it did not cost him his eligibility to stand for elections. Now with this letter, he seems to be 'getting back' at MM Lee and SM Goh, like a child shouting "Na Na Nee Poo Poo!!! IS this all you can do?" He is saying that, "now that i'm a bankrupt, i can write about anything and you can't get to me anymore!" It is true to the extend of physical possessions. But his own letter has also taken away any respect anyone can possibly have towards him (if any) as an opposition fighting for political democracy in Singapore for so long. His fight has slowly deteriorated to a personal grudge against the incumbent party, losing his objectivity and his focus on democracy for Singaporeans.
Which brings me to ask whether is he really working towards political democracy or demolishing it? Such act only further impresses upon us, the electorate, on how immature and incredible the opposition is, collectively.
Is he really pushing for democracy or pushing it futher from us?
If oppositions wanna survive in Singapore, better pay Chee and ask him to get out of politics, before all of us lose faith in opposition.

Anyway, enough about politics. I've been meaning to talk about my personal sensitive issue, about being a supporter of Liverpool FC. Because one of my friend actually accused me of being a Liverpool supporter because of Paul. Here i'd like to clarify.
No doubt i started watching liverpool matches because of Paul, but back then, i watched as a very neutral and objective onlooker. I slowly picked up names of players.
I was exceptionally sad when Liverpool lost to Bolton 2-0, that was when i realised i could be a fan. They're fighting spirit was impressive, nice passes. It was most disappointing because the two goals conceded were rather accidental.
Even before that, i felt that Rafael was a really different manager whom seldom diss other teams (thus far, i've only seen one such report of him being sacarstic). His faith in his players is really strong, especially when Crouch wasn't scoring at first. He is really humble, hardworking and caring manager, unlike other big headed ones from other clubs.
The more reports i read about liverpool and their fans, the more i like the club. How the fans loved Rafael even before he showed any results, cheering for him when they spotted him in the bar. How the team work so hard despite their losing streak.

I was pissed to be called a proxy supporter. Because it doesn't speak very much of me. Paul did taught me what i got to know about liverpool. But trust me, if they were anything like the blue team, i wouldn't waste my time watching their game. To me, to be called a proxy supporter for liverpool is an insult. Not only does it suggest i don't have a mind of my own, i cannot judge for myself, it actually shows how little people think of me. It also speaks of being a soccer fan is a man's right, a woman can only be a proxy fan.
I understands how my friend felt. A lady, who cant pronounce liverpool's manager's name properly, cant be a serious fan. A lady, who doesn't wake up at 4am in the morning to watch Liverpool vs Charlton, cant be a serious fan. A lady, who dint give two hoots about soccer a few months ago, cannot be a serious fan overnight. She is just a proxy fan, claiming to be a know-it-all after watching 2 months of soccer, defending weakly this team she hardly knows from two other Man-u fans. What does she know about soccer compared to us who have watched and played soccer all our lives?
Just for information, I am a fan but not a lunatic. I have lesson 10 am in the morning, having to wake up at 630am, i don't think i should be watching a match at 4am. Just because i'm rational doesn't make me any less supportive. I did check the scores first thing i turned on my computer in the morning.

I'm not trying to prove anything and if ever my friend sees this, i just want to say that i did not confront you there and then is because i know i wont be able to out talk you. But the point is not out-talking each other. It is to realise and accept that soccer talk is not just the men's right. Perhaps not a full fletch soccer fan because i don't watch every match, but i do try to read up on what i like.

Cheers!

WR