Me. Myself & i

i dun feel so good.
i'm starting to question alot of things.
question de way i treat pple.
question de way others treat me.
question my frenships with other pple
question my relationships with other pple

i realise that pple can ba hao peng you gua zai zhui bian.
but in act. fact are we?
i realise that my relationship with them are getting awkward.
are they trying to bao liu yi fen chan que de you yi?
i starting to feel that i'm treated with double standards.

maybe it's jus me.

it's a very abstract feeling, or rather i really dunno how to put it down in words.

somehow, something is also telling me i'm expecting too much.

perhaps in my life, they'll be another group of frens.

so i start to ask myself, is there anyone that i really call a good fren, close fren.
someone i think of when i haf happy things to share, someone whom come to me when he/she is in trouble and yada yada yada

i realise i dun haf an ans.
we all haf our own group of frens.
all turn to diff ppl for help.

so.. is hao peng you a nicer name for a closer passerby in this phase of my life?

i do not like de feeling when i put in effort and show enthusiam but all i get in return is indifference.
i'm afraid i learn to ignore, learn to be indifferent. becoming unfeeling towards the things ard me. things that perhaps, really matter in life...

i'm one confused soul.

wr