Me. Myself & i

now it's jus me my blog and de songs in my comp.

i would like to start todays blog saying, i hope i can trust those that noes about tis blog to keep it to emself. i mean, i dunwan pple to be reading it. most pple. it's about my inner most feelings and thoughts. unless my closest frens ask, i wont give de add to em either. of cos u all can stop visiting, i mean who wans to read about wat happens in my boring life. but yah. i trust all of u. =)

secondly i'm dedicating tis blog tis gd fren of mine. i still treasure our frenship.

thirdly, it's rather eventful today. it's really filling up my whole mind and i doubt i'll do well in tml's sat. hopefully i'll be able to make it in de jan one.

i feel lousy. feel like a bitch. perhaps i'm not cut out to be one. perhaps i still cant get use to hurting pple. hurting pple ard me. however, sometimes situation jus calls for it.

tis blog is goin to be full of ideas and tots flying here and there.

i dunno if what i did or said is appropriate today. i believe is betta than givin u false hope. given my situation, i really think i nid to clear up my situation, find myself, move on. instead of getting cropped up again. victimizing u. i really hope u understand.

not trying to sound noble here. not trying to find ways to justified wat i said. but there are many things that u've yet to take into considerations. i nid someone who can see further than me. that looks things in de big picture.

i cant deny i'm flattered. serious. i believe u're de best looking, most matured, best choice among my guy frens. i also think u haf a huge fan club out there. u haf many to choose from. but u also happen to be one of de nicest guy i noe. i cant lead u on. if not i could haf agreed. rather than trying so hard to explain myself to u. sigh.

all i can say is. i'll take care of myself. wont turn into a party goer. wont flirt ard. i'll cont to go out with guys, but jus as frens. perhaps what i said may haf made u disappointed in me. but diff pple, individual have diff sense of what's acceptable what's not.

i believe u'll come back one day and show me how much i've missed. =) i haf faith in u. u'll make me regret my decision. i'll be happy for u. i'll be hoping u find dat someone that really can treasure u, at the rite time, de rite person.

sigh

btw i'm touched. by what u said. de way u said if i nid help to clear my mess up. and de other things u mentioned. =) thank you. so de more i noe i cant keep u waiting. de more i had to explain my situation. de more i tot u shld find someone betta.

i dun think many pple noe me that well. i've many characteristics that not one person has seen thru and thru. one day u'll tell me u're not de person i was in love with. i've exp it b4, i dunwan it to happen again. =)

life will go on for u as usual.
life will go on for me as usual.

it's tough noeing ur gd fren is goin thru tis and not being able to help. i'm not de one tt shld go comfort him now. feels really bad. but u'll pick urself up.

i haf faith in u.