Wasn't able to open my blog just now, for a moment i tot my blog got closed down because of the previous post i did on politics. Well, i'm sure the government is more generous than that, i mean what can i do with a small blog space on the vast internet?
Just yesterday, Someone told me that once the elections is declared, we cant write posts that support any political party. He added that not even putting down a particular party, because that means you are supporting another one. I din think that is true logically and mathematically. However, to be on the safe side, i don't think i'll write anything about politics when that time comes.
Well, this week's seminar is on elected presidency. And i remember last week, when the debate between WP and PAP was going on, one of the manifestos publish was to take away the EP scheme. Then, i was wondering if there was anything wrong with having an Elected President.
Our constitution was amended in 1991 to have an Elected president instead of one that was selected. The main reason why he needs to be elected was because of the added responsibility of safe guarding the Nation's reserves. The EP was to be one of the two keys to the national reserves, 150billion when LKY raised the suggestion of this scheme. Main rationale was to safeguard the money from potential contenders who promise the electorate the sky and spend millions from past reserves to realise that promise. Of cos, the junzis from PAP would not and did not have to make such promises to win the seats in Parliament. It was a 'just in case of freak elections' kind of scheme, i would say, and the following amendments to the scheme will tell.
(Keep in mind, the president's job is to guard against drawing of past reserves.)

1) In 2004, Art 22B was amended to:
a)A transfer by a relevant statutory board of its reserves to the Government will not be treated as a draw on the past reserves of that statutory board if the Minister responsible for finance undertakes in writing to add those reserves of that statutory boad to the past reserves of the government;
b)a transfer by a relevant statuory boad of its reserves to a relevant Government company will not be treated as a draw on the past reserves of that statutory boad if the board of directors of that Government company by resoultion resrolves that those reserves of that statory board shall be added to the past reserves of that Government company; and
c)a transfer by a relevant statutory board of its reserves to another relevant statutory board will not be treated as a draw on the past reserves of the transferor statutory board if the transferee statutory board by resolution resolves, or any written law provides, that those reserves of the transferor statutory board shall be added to the past reserves of the transferee statutory board
Constitution of Republic of SIngapore (Amendment) Bill No. 12/2004
The changes proposed in this bill, which was passed later, allowed the Government to transfer its past reserves to statutory boards and government companies.
"the changes, which allow for an unemcumbered flow of reserves between the Government, key statutory boards and Governement companies..." (Today, "Reserves and loophold fears, 3 June 2004)
I'd say that this has great impact on the role of an elected president as a key to the national reserves, it will greatly reduce the check that the president has on the Government.
PAP MPs did not see the bill as a cause for concern. "Our understanding is that it does not compromise the second key," MP Tan Boo Wan.
"Once we accept that, we should have an implicit trust and confidence in how the Government manages our reserves. It is not in the interest of the country to have the specific allocation of the reserves subjected to public scrutiny," Mp Ong Kian Min. With all due respect, i believe this comment totally fly in the face of democracy. A completely paternalistic view which embodies a manifestation of distrust of the electorate. To put it simply, do you think the people are stupid or blind?
However, PM Lee (then DPM) gave a better and more convincing reason which was to 'enable more timely responses by the Government to changing economic or business conditions.' Seems like we have, once again, let pragmatism and efficiency rule the day. Never mind the constitution, never mind the rationale of having an elected president. As long as it makes things easier, it must be correct. Of cos, a balance must be struck between constitutionalism and flexibility, but i see the battle as between the constitution and convenience of the government, not flexibility.

2)
1994 Singapore Parliament Reports, Constitution of the Republic of SIngapore (Amendment No.2) Bill col 417 ff
Among the addition to the list of stat boards added, requiring the president's concurrence, Art 22B and D were introduced. More importantly, the president's discretion will be curb when the drawdown is for defence and security-related measures.
- president will not have power to veto such transactions
- such defence and security transactions will not be made public, even if they are likely to draw on the reserves.
- As an alternative, the transactions must be recommended by both the Chief of Defence Force and the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Defence, and then certified by bothe the PM and the Defence Minister.

To summarise, the President is elected by the people, highest office of the country as oppose to Chief of Defence Force and PS of MOF, who are not elected. What mandate do they have to act as an alternative safeguard?
Please do not bring up the Junzi theory, because the very fact that there is such a safeguard, is an indication of general distrust of those in power. To say that that two person proposed as alt are honourable men who can be trusted is just the irony of ironies.
If i may add a quote from Dr Kanwaljit Soin "...in introducing the Bill to have an Elected Presient with special powers,... the government was, in fact, "clipping its own wings". It seems to me that, in introducing this amendment, the Government is now trying to add on some feathers."

Well, as expected, to answer all these doubts, then DPM Lee said we had to balance between safeguards and flexibility. "Can they be suborned? Yes, sure. So can the President. So can the PM. What happens if the PM goes mad? God help us! you are looking for certainty and safety using fallible human digits. And you are trying to make a scheme which will give you that certainty, not a probability of one, but a probability of 99.9% that the system will work even if individual within it go wrong"
For one, i don't think the people would vote a potentially mad President or PM. Second, even if we cannot have a more certain than not kind of safeguard, at least we have ourselves to blame at the end of the day. If all kinds of human safeguards are fallible, two non-elected person vs one elected president, i think the case is crystal clear.

hai.. such a long post. i haven even included the Presidential Elections Council.. Maybe nex time.

Well, the usual, i'm raising these not because i'm Anti-PAP. I just felt people should have more information, which is available on the internet. and that there are too many policies in the name of efficiency, pragmatism which makes it difficult to reconcile the rationale of having those policies in the first place. For example GRC, EP, etc. The people have the right to know the impact of such deviation from the originally or superficial reasons of implementing these policies.

Maybe i am loving my country more. Because i bother.

it's a cycle.
i hate to admit it but it is true. I don't like it but i cant control it. i can only choose how i react to it. Only this time, it will be easier. Because past experience has taught me well, too well in fact. That there is no point to brood over it, to be bothered by something/someone which/whom you cant control.

Cant seems to concentrate on anything today. Wanted to write a post on Elected presidency and the political debate last week, but read too many things afterwards and i lost my train of thoughts.

To many things are happening around me, i'm losing it. Losing myself, my focus, my goals, which are the fundamentals of an individual. without these, nothing else exists. Only when i find them, will i be able to stand alone and find the meaning to what i am doing again.
I cannot derived my identity from others anymore. Feels like a hermit, always hiding behind others. Why do i need others approval? Why do i want someone else's recognition?
I'm bogged down by how others perceive me. Only to realise that, who are they to judge me? I'm the one to judge myself, i will give myself my own value, my identity, my pride and earn the respect for myself.

No longer dependent, no desire to be a proxy. You will do as you wish, while i'm my own master.

wAHhhhh i need money!!! I wanna buy new fone......... But i got no time to give tuition.. and i'm growing too fat!!!! HELP HELP HELPPPPPPP

"He's always been a goalscorer, and can bring important things to our team. He's not match-fit, how can he be after being out for three months? But he's so clever he can get a goal walking, where other players wouldn't running." Benitez on Fowler's fitness for next match against Birmingham 

In need to rant, but i've still got tons of readings before me, all of them to be done by tml's seminar. Not to mention i have friends coming over at after 12 noon.
My day yesterday was entirely ruin by a morning call. By a certain somebody. For the rest of the day, seems like fate has it that we have to quarrel for the rest of the day, incidents peppered throughout the day, escalating the tension. Neither of us has given in.
I know that, like many times before this, we cant see each other's point of view. I do not know what is he so insistent about certain things and he doesn't know why i do what i did.
Expectations. I almost neva lost my temper with my friends anymore, but i lose it with him many times. Maybe the frequency of seeing each other is a factor. I don't have much time for friends after dividing it between him, family and studies. My friends don't have much time for me either.
I have no solution to reconciling our differences. From the start, we don't have much in common. I did mention what i expect of this relationship, of a partner that i need (instead of want).
Being 20 going to 21, i have to look further. I've got my share of family responsibilities when i graduate and more. Already in debts before i work, my parents, my spinster aunt who has been taking care of us... Right now, i have my studies to worry about. I cannot handle someone who adds on to that.
I cannot keep worrying bout what my family thinks each time you do the things you do. I tried my best the make things easier for you, you think i'm forcing you. Can you even see my effort because i cant seems to sense urs?
Each time i feel i'm angry for a legitimate reason, you'll say things like "you din do this other thing either" so what? we're quits? why cant you address what i said den we can move on to 'this other thing'? Cant you see that this is not a math problem, you can't solve it by bringing something else up?

My love -
I told you before i neva show my love just by telling you i love you everyday. It is something more than that. Seeing you have trouble with getting to know my family, i try to make things easier for you. You have some problem with calling my grandma, i tried to cover up for you. Your fam needs something done, i'm ard to run the errand. You like to watch soccer, i learnt to watch. U're stressed, i tried to understand; You don't like people to force you to do things, i take things slow.
I have my times too i know, i can be very difficult. And i appreciate you for that.

I cannot tell you how to mix with people, how to handle real life problems.

He is a prince, living in the castle. Behind those walls, everyone is friendly, sincere, truthful and polite. The prince goes out once in a while, but the contact between him and the others outside is superficial. He thinks the world is beautiful like the world in his castle. He study many things, learned and well mannered.
He is one thing short of being perfect. Since young, people knew him naturally. People smile at him naturally. People around him loved him naturally.
As long as he lives in the castle, it is no use explaining how he need to learn how to make friends. Because there isn't such a need. As long as he stays there, he has no worries about handling commoners.

"The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and for a split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn't and you lose."
From the movie - Matchpoint

A wonderful movie that used the ordinary to show us the extraordinary. In the short 2 hours, the life of a social climbing ex-pro tennis player, Chris Wilton, unfolded before us. From a humble background, he went to London to teach tennis at an exclusive country club. His life took a better turn when he got to know Tom Hewett, son of a wealthy businessman(and many more turns afterwards). Tom's sister, who took a liking to Chris immediately. Things became complicated, when Chris met Tom's fiance, Nola Rice, a sexy American actress...

At a glance, this might seem to be a sleezy movie, where the lead male actor got into an affair, tried something extreme to end it. A typical you-take-a-wrong-step-in-life-you're-done-for-it kind of movie. But the beautiful twist at the end of the story, which incredibly impressed the theme of the whole movie, will at once change your perception of the movie.
The quality, the pace, the story were very well put together. A common thread ran throughout the movie: Tennis and Opera.
Personally, i particularly liked the part when Chris was facing his conscience. When he told himself that he had to push the guilt over before he was consumed by it. The two 'spirits' that embodied his conscience. This part was pretty redundant but the things that Chris said was cynical yet true.

Public law reading has become increasing interesting and depressing at the same time. And i began thinking to myself, what somebody mentioned to me after reading Catherine Lim's article in the Straits times.
He mentioned that Singaporeans aren't being indifferent, just because they choose economy over democracy, doesn't mean that they are reliant on the government. In another words, the people did choose, and they had chosen economic development over individual liberties/political democracy.

i've some problems with that which i couldn't pin point at the time he raised this, i had some time to think it through today. I'd like to raise some questions against this theory.
Again, i wanna clarify that, i have nothing against the government. I enjoy the lovely country that they are running right now, and staying in a constituency that almost always is a walk over. So if i may continue:

First and foremost, the theory that he has proposed is made on the assumption that economic development is mutually exclusive with political democracy.
By political democracy, as i understands it, simply means a levelled playing field for different political parties. Laws that facilitates political pluralism. It doesn't necessary mean that Parliament should consist of different parties, because that is up to the people to elect. But at the very least, give them some breathing space to move. This doesn't necessarily mean chaos or a decline in economic performance. Hence i personally dont think people need to choose economy OVER political democracy, because they can co-exist.

Second, when he said that the people CHOSE economy over political democracy, it is based on the assumption that there was a choice. Economic developments/performance as given and promised by one party, and others by other parties. It is based on the assumption that there IS a choice. I do not have the statistics, if i have to write a paper on this i will find out but there are many walk over constituencies for elections. When an area is a walk over, the incumbent MPs are reinstated on the Nomination Day. An area is a walk over if there are no one contesting for that area. So did the people choose? When no one steps up to challenge, does it mean the people are choosing? or can it mean that people are disillusioned or even cynical about the success rate of challenging?

Third, even if we assume there are choices, we do have opposition MPs like Chiam and Low in the parliament. The theory my friend has suggested is only fair if the choices are informed choices. Shan't elaborate. U can draw ur own conclusion. and i'm not responsible for it.

hai, i decided not to write the last point.
In case i get sued for defamation or arrested by ISA.
It is a depressing day and i wonder if it is because of my readings. How i wish i can type my tutor's academic article here.

I love my country, i respect the government.
At the end of the scrutiny, i can only conclude the power corrupts. Not in the monetary way, but people want to keep the power, retain it, perhaps not for personal gain but for whatever reasons, it cannot be justified. We may have jun zi as our government, what makes these jun zi think that they are the only jun zis or only they can get jun zi?

Risking it,
Wenrong

I was doing my public law reading and the SDP manifesto debate just kept cropping up in my mind. My lecturer mentioned that Low Thia Khiang post a letter in the forum yesterday. Unable to find yesterday's paper, i picked up today's Home, hoping to find PAP's reply to it. Instead, i saw a report on what Chiam said and another reader's letter supporting the PAP.

I should be continuing with my reading now but wanted to air my views somewhat, if i don't wanna write to the papers, the least i can do is write on my own blog. Just as a disclaimer, i do not have anything against PAP. On the contrary, i believe they have done well thus far, in managing Singapore and i'm grateful for that.
The problem that i have, is probably the inherent unfairness in the system that we have and the inadequacy of the opposition parties.

PAP singled out 4 of 52 manifestos of SDP and described them as 'time bomb' and 'poison'. Of they 4, SDP proposed to scrap the president elections, Group Representative Constituency system, the grassroots organisations and to issue subsidies for needy/poor people. PAP gave a point counter point argument against these manifestos, giving their reasons for these system respectively. What i failed to find, was the SDP's reasons for proposing these changes in the papers. The importance will be discussed later. There can only be two possibilities for this: (1) SDP did not mention; (2) The newspaper censored it?
it is for all of us to guess.

The reader who wrote into Forum today, supported the PAP's rationale of the GRC system. He mentioned the importance of having minority representatives in the parliament. More importantly, the fragile nature of our multicultural social fabric. I have to say that i agree absolutely with the rationale. But what are the effects of the GRC system?

1) Unequal voting rights
In order to make it really easy to understand, we'll start with an e.g. Area X is GRC constituency. Area Y is Single member consituency. With one vote, people in area X can vote in 3-6 members of parliament. However, with the same one vote, people in area Y can only vote in 1 MP.
Is it because Area X is bigger than Y, therefore there is a need for more MPs, therefore justifying the unequal voting power?
Art 12 subsection(1) of constitution of Singapore provides "All persons are equal before the law and entitled to the equal protection of the law." Isn't this a clear, direct violation of our rights? So why is GRC in existence when the effect of it is unconstitutional?
May i challenge the readers, to look up which are the SMC and GRC with this unequal voting power in mind?

2) Coat Tailers
A GRC, becoming a town council later, has its implications too, moving away from the rationale of having GRC. As known, town council is in charge of the upkeep and maintenance of the estate, etc. Hence, people are advised to vote for a group, with a good leader, in case they get stuck in the lift and remain there. Because the leader of the Group they vote in, will head the town council. This give rise to the problem of Coat tailers.
Another senario to imagine: In the group of 6, X is a well-known character, with great leadership capacity, very good with people. Y has good relations with people. Z has been the representative of that area for pass 5 years. but there are three others whom no one has heard of. Compare this to another group, a,b,c,d,e,f are all rather unheard of, they have been campaigning hard, trying to win the people over.
But will you take the risk?
Or will you vote in the group with 3 promising rep, knowing they will do well? When the first group is elected, what happens to the other three in the group? They become MPs as well!

These are just to illustrate how important it is to tell the public why the opposition is proposing in their manifesto. Without knowing the effects of GRC system, i would support the rationale of having it as well.

due to time constraint and fear of being traced for writing this entry, i shall end my post.

But as a Singaporean, i think it is worrying when the majority party cannot differentiate themselves from the government institution anymore.
"This is the reality of politics. Every political party everywhere in the whold has a political programme fot the people. When they are in charge, they implement them. If they do their jobs well, they will be elected. If they bluff the people and cannot deliver on their promises, they will be out very fast, like the SDP MPs. They could not perform and they were out. This is the reality." - Mr Wong Kan Seng 1999 parliamentary debates.
- PAP's offer - upgrading for Cheng San constituent (which ceased to exist the following elections)
Offer was made by PM then, who's own constituent was a walk-over.
Food for thought, what would have happened if opposition won that time?

Risking it,
Wenrong

Just read Catherine Lim's article on TST today. I can only say it is a very honest, sincere piece written by a very observant person. She has very nicely described the political climate in Singapore and expressed her concerns for the lack of freedom of speech. She seems to be disappointed with the people, who'd rather choose economic development over political maturity anytime, with the short story name "The Experiment".

Catherine Lim's article on the minister's salaries
http://www.singapore21.org.sg/art_disaffection.html#debate1

It's 5 am in the morning, and i obviously didn't wake up to do this. But hell, i need to rant. I guess if you slept at 12 and suddenly wake up at 5 am telling yourself you haven't been working hard enough for law sch, you definitely is rather stress. And let's not forget, this is only week 2 of sem 2.
I can't remember how many times "the exchange conversation" had happened, it doesn't help when your bf is going to Germany.
The agony is when you can only work hard but don't know how to score? like a good singaporean student, i try to study. But at the end of the day i have no idea what kind of preparation is needed for Law exam. I tried having all my materials nicely printed out, i tried arranging my ans even before entering the exam hall, i tried everything. The only time i did well, was when i was flipping my textbook like mad, not knowing what the question was asking about. and for that, i got a B.

i AM freaking out.
Because i don't wanna come out a 2-2, or worst 3. I look around my non-law friends, deans-lister, As and Bs, never a C. and me? I think the number of Cs i have is the sum of ALL theirs. I can always comfort myself, no you can't compare lydat, they are very different, different way of grading... But it is not like there are no As and Bs in Law sch, there are plenty, just that i'm not one of them..

I dont know... am i working hard enough?

If it is not today, it has to be some other day
If it wasn't this, it could have been something else

"And on and on. The power of the Christian right rests largely in the fact that they boldly claim religious authority, and by their very boldness convince the rest of us that they must know what they’re talking about. They’re like the guy who gives you directions with such loud confidence that you drive on even though the road appears to be turning into a faint, rutted track. But their theology is appealing for another reason too: it coincides with what we want to believe. How nice it would be if Jesus had declared that our income was ours to keep, instead of insisting that we had to share. How satisfying it would be if we were supposed to hate our enemies. Religious conservatives will always have a comparatively easy sell. "

http://www.harpers.org/ExcerptTheChristianParadox.html

Author is a christian himself, very interesting piece. Do take your time to read it if you're interested in religion :D
Just a personal comment: I think people who accuses some other religion of fighting in the name of God, shld read this.

Just another letter to add to my day of events, with the same theme!!! hahaha

-beyond words-

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Wenrong,

Thank you for your interest in the Student Exchange Programme AY2006-7.

We have considered your application for the SEP very carefully. In competition with other applicants, I regret very much to inform you that your application for the Programme is unsuccessful. It will also NOT be considered further should there be vacancies arising from students who decide to decline an offer of a place.

With best wishes for your studies in Semester 2 AY2005-6.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pretty pissed off today...
There seems to be a common thread running through all the things that were pushing my buttons today - I'm not good enough.

I was in school today, wanted to get some files before my lessons officially starts. Wanting to save time, i ask paul to go to the library to photocopy a what was needed in the reading list. His immediate response was "what book? I don't need that!"
I took a deep breathe and i walked in.. To think that just a few minutes ago, he told me off for thinking only for myself.

Also, many of my classmates are leaving for exchange program very soon... I'll be back here, just the way i din like it.

When i tried to brush all that aside, go for a jog at Paul's gym. I was stopped by the security guard when i was walking pass, like always. He asked me for the pass which i obviously din have. And my dear bf, knowing that i was coming over and was suppose to be waiting for me, didn't pick up his fone. So i had to call his house for the second time in 15 minutes, and i was pretty sure his mother wasn't too please with that. Well, all that aside, when i told mr paul i was angry, he actually told him he was angry too!
Being me, i asked him what happened, why was he angry. He only replied "your sister is here, go jog"
Being me again, i told my sister "let's go, i dont wanna jog anymore" and walked out. Full view of the guards.
Humiliating.
Therefore i told my sister on the way, you will neva ever see me in that gym again, neva am i stepping in that condo to use anything.

My boyfriend has decided not to tell me what happened over msn, he say it is alright. and I dun feel like bringing up my new resolution to him.

Just when i thought everything was peaceful now, he told me an ex-classmate of mine was pestering him for his results. This friend did very very well for the last sem and he said he was disappointed in paul's result.
Oh great.
So what does that make me?

I know i don't have to be the pain in the neck for someone else for my own wrong doings. And i shouldn't expect paul to give in to me or never to mention about grades infront of me ever again. BUT THE PROBLEM IS, he neva realise that I DON"T FEEL COMFORTABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe. argh...
The biggest problem is i feel inferior.
Even if there was no intention to make me feel small, every conversation about grades, anything to do with grades will make me feel small. Because i believe i'm small.

Trust me, i AM cursing and swearing at myself.

It doesn't help when you have a brilliant boyfriend, whom every other brilliant student in Law school know he is brilliant.
They are probably blaming his slightly less perfect grades on me, the useless, brainless, plain-jane girlfriend, that isn't of much help in his life except throwing temper at this, widely-acclaimed good manner, nice boy-next-door.

I assure you, there is no pressure at all, goin thru law school with all that at the back of your mind.
Because there is no pressure, the more i shld be doing well.

I am not blaming my bad grades on him, i never did. But i can't keep up, i dont think i'll ever be able to. and my pride, is very very very seriously ... damaged?
haha i cant even find a proper word for that.

I should drop out.

Aiya.
Alot of things to think about today, don't really know how to put it down into words.. Just so many questions that I'm asking, so lil answers, or rather i don't believe the answers. So many things i want to do but don't know if i'll be able to accomplish them.

But i do know that
for everything i do
i'll have to take a step at a time.

Cheers

Wenrong

Ho Ho ho
Tml i will have to return to school. Sulkz. But you know what they say, you've gotta love going to school to get the grades. I guess i din love school that much for the past 1 and half years. ;P So, this sem, i will love school. I will love my books, love my readings and stop playing games.

Read so much about ambitions these few days and i did not deliberately search for these articles to read. Instead i came across them by chance. An whole 4/5 pages feature on Times and another small column in ST today (sunday btw). Did you know that it is natural instinct for humans to be ambitious? You know that by observing how a baby stands up after a fall from learning how to walk, and continue on his endeavour. But somehow, when the kid attends school, he loses that desire to become better, to reach out for the best, the never-say-die attitude. Experts explained that they learn to be satisfied with what they have and comply with the norm, everyone influences everyone else that mediocre is good enough.
I guess deep inside, everyone wants to think that he or she is ambitious and has a special thing inside himself or herself. I do. I always like to tell myself "if i want to do it, i can. Just when."
Well i guess the last sem has really proved me wrong. So wrong. I wasn't the genius that i secretly thought i was, even thou all along, experience have taught me otherwise. I chose not to believe.
I have neva manage to do well without hardwork. I was neva the kind of kid who can study last minute and pass with flying colours.
Today, one day before my school reopen, i'd like to admit to myself that:
1) I'm not a bright kid. I cant study for 1 month and top the class, be it primary school or kindergarten.
2) I have to work hard, even harder now that i'm surrounded by some of the smartest people in Singapore (excluding the medicine and overseas scholars).
3) I have to re-learn English.
4) I need to have more zest, live and organisation when i do things.

Time will fly pass sooner now, another 2 and half years, i will graduate from law school.
I went back to law fac the other day to accompany paul as he did his research. As i stood outside the lobby, waiting for him to pick me up, i looked at the words "CJ KOH LIBRARY". The memories of how i first step into NUS looking for the library for my interview came back to me. I remember i was in awe of the place, i thought to myself "how nice will it be if i were one of them". And how i haven't achieve anything since i started law school, tryin to scrap pass everything, blaming everything else but myself for the grades.
Perhaps i was naive then, thinking of the glam that was attached to the sentence "hi, i'm wenrong from NUS law fac". But i knew then, that it was a privilege to be in the school of law, not a right.
I know many people would have killed to be in my place, doing everything right to graduate a good law student. And here i am wasting my life in law school.

Time to work hard.

Cheers people

Regards,
Wenrong

hahahahah
I think it is high time i try to lose weight... Went back to yj today and my 'mama' told me i grew fat... Sighhhhh But i have a feeling i said this yesterday. Manz..
This sucks.

not really in the mood to write a post. Been running around YJ hunting teachers for the alumni newsletter and doing up the webpage. ARGH. And i have another meeting with the pro-tem team tml.. Oh which reminds me that i have to re-schedule me tuition to saturday or sunday. Darnz. AND i have to attend some gala dinner meeting as well. :p
SIAN-ed....

I'm hungry..
i need to jog.
WTH

hahahah
End of story, the grill is made of steel/metal not aluminium, so it is impossible to break in tonight without waking the whole family up. Hence i can sleep very well tonight :D

Wah kao.. pissed me off man. If only i can stay home tml. I'll run after him instead of jus oi-ing him. den call police on my way.. hahahaha k, wishful thinking. ;p

aiya, nothing much happened today otherwise.. Went to Nus with Paul, den to east coast and then suntec. Pretty fun :D

Still cant imagine what would have happened if he managed to break in...

Bleai...

wahhhh
Some thief nearly broke into my house when i was sleeping today, my ah gong saved the day with his 'oei'! BUT... he din call the police nor did he wake me up, he chose to tell my mom when she came back at 3pm in the afternoon... Sigh. Now my eldest sister is freaked out.. Right now she is trying to set traps so that when the thief tries to open the windows of my studies, the umbrella will fall and someone may wake up from the noise. LOL... Kindof funny...
Come to think of it, if the thief have successfully broken into my house, my life would have been in danger since i was sleeping. I think that's the third time i kind of escape danger in two weeks. Two occasions of potential accidents and one thief... Hmmm I wonder wat does that signifies..?

Man my parents are back, i got a house to secure.. later...

Regards,
WR

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing. English 75% Anthropology 75% Journalism 75% Sociology 75% Psychology 58% Mathematics 50% Engineering 50% Philosophy 50% Biology 42% Theater 42% Linguistics 42% Art 42% Dance 33% Chemistry 25% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

yah right... Journalism.. Yuckz. But looks like i'm a real gemini.

Beloved mOm and Dad.. Love them. Shaky hand effect :) romantic eh?  

ho ho ho!!!!
I've put up the song...
Home by michael buble
To everyone who's loved one is somewhere far away.
Enjoy...

and my side bar is finally back to normal.. No more long ahhs for me..
Heez.

I like my blog, simple and amatuerish as it is.
Because it is mine..

Cheers people.
Love,
Wr

man.... I don't have breakfast for today. Or mayb i should stop taking breakfast altogther since i'm growing oh-so FAT! Wahhahaha Yes.. i'm growing sideways, very evidently. Sigh...

Some of my friends are complaining about the font i've been using for my blog. Is it really that diff to read? hahaha I do read my own blog, for those of you who don't know, i'm pretty egoistic. Over myself, pretty much nothing to be ego about but yeah... I thought it is the colour of the blog that makes it diff to read because after reading my blog for a while, and you look at something else, u'll see grey. :p Anyhow, don't really plan to do up my blog, if i really have to, i'll add a song and some pictures ... Sorry people.

Going back to YJ for the Nth time after i've graduated. Will be the first this year thou, 3 years after i've graduated. I have to meet some teachers-in-charge for upcoming events in school and 'report' these to the Alumni members. I wonder how much interest will i generate with the E-newsletter, but i've gotta try first. I guess even if it falls flat on my face, at the very least an attempt was made. Instead of the typical YJ approach, 'gauge the response first'... Sure, if i have to pay like a few thousand dollars to organise this, i'll probably gauge the response first.
Looks like i've to spend my whole day there. Gotta meet two teachers for two events and help another fellow alumni teacher with a software. Not that i know how to use it, but two brains will def be better than one. not to mention the MOE laptop doesn't run unregistered software.. So we'll have to use my laptop. At the end of the day, i'll probably be the one maintaining the webpage as well. Gorsh... Wassup man, i din sign up to learn computer software and be a reporter...
And paul comes in and tell me "you chose to do it, wat."
True, so i can't complain.

Nothing else to complain. :p except i don't have breakfast!!!!

it is 217am, just had a few drinks...sleepy now but i just dunwanna go to sleep :p
really puzzled by something.. was having fun but was made to come back because i've gotta help my mom tml. sigh...i haven been waking up at 630 am for a very very long time, doubt i'll be able to wake up tml.. rahhhh
Until now, i still dun understand why i have to go help when i'm totally of no help at all. Just because they think it is fair to have a roster? i mean it isn't fair that i'm doin the housework myself, it isn't fair that i've to take care of my younger sister now and then. Just because they give like 100 or 50 to my parents a month, therefore i have to help at the stall? sian..
come'on what is fair? crap. i don't complain about her painting someone else's house while i have to do spring cleaning all alone (altho i haven started;p) freak.. does it mean i have a stable bf den i can dont do housework? Please, i'll go ROM tml man.
Freak.

and i cant say all these in front of my mom/parents, because it'll break their heart. to see that i simply don't wanna help out. not that i look down on what they do but i just cant do it... i cannot recognise faces, i cannot rem seat numbers or the order. i just cant. I've tried for 6 years or more, and it has been proven again and again, it is just not my cup of tea... why must they brood over something call 'fairness'?????? I do NOT understand. i do do my fair share of housework.

sigh....


darn.

i wanna go sleep and dream....

Happy new year everyone!!!!! :D
Had a really good time yesterday at PKS, so many nice things happened to me. I was blessed by his Emminence in the blessing session in the afternoon whereas those who went in the evening wasn't. Anyhow, i'm sure his blessing went out to all of them as well. :p After chanting for the whole afternoon from 1515hrs onwards (had dinner break thou), the session ended with His Emminence jumping with joy, literally, with the number of times the scripture was chanted for the week - 200 over million times. The funny part is when all the other lamas were afraid he might fall, because His Emminence was 80++ and has weak legs. :p
He jumped and threw the shawl, signifying that he blessed all who have attended the session. It was a very simple gesture, but there was something that touched me. His simplicity, he was so real, his smile was so sincere, so true. As they walked around the hall, everyone was on their knees. It was so grand, yet i'm sure it was neva meant to, not planned by the organisers to create effect. The reality of that scene touched me and brought me on the verge of tears. :d

The purity in His smile, is very very beautiful.

After the session, i had to help out at the 'spiritual countdown' in PKS as well. Hee, yvette and i were given collectively a very very creative name "Shoe-girls" (sugars) because we were in charge of giving out shoe bags and collecting them. Ahahah i tot it was brilliant, took me a while to understand the pun thou, one long while. The work was minimum, din take up a lot of effort :p Most of my time was spent having fun, eating, talking, standing around, singing, clapping!! posting for pictures! !
I took picture with nix shen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(shen wei jun!!!) hahahaha i cant wait to get the pictures of the event!!! LOL still pretty excited over yesterday i guess. Did really crasy stuff like those times in SN, dancing, jumping around, cheering!!! I have to admit the group spirit is enticing :) so enticing that my sister has been expressing alot of interest. And poor me, will be the one bringing her if she has to go for the events. It is times like this when i hate myself for being soft, why did i bring her there in the first place?! Rahhhh because she will neva understand she is causing trouble for another person, she will think it is her right to be escorted everywher by her very busy sister. Sigh, shall not let her take up so much space in my blog LOL..

Have to go out soon to meet niang niang!!! yeah, it is a good new year, nice weather (cool), nice songs(michael buble) in my laptop, nice orange juice (sunkist), got lunch waiting for me.. LOL, ain't i lucky? :p Don't be too jealous k?

May the new year be full of new possibilities for everyone...

BTW I'm 21 this year u noe? Heeeee

regards,
WR

hmmm 31 of dec 2005 - last blog of this year. Pretty sure this is it because i will be out from 1pm onwards and will not be back till after 12midnight. Not because i'm going for some orchard countdown but helping out at pks.
I'm still listening to 'Union' since i got it yesterday.. Hahaha really nice way to start the day. :p

Well well well... What am i goin to blog about? I need to leave house by 1245 to give tuition. Then will make my way to pks cos my uncle says there's blessing at 3pm. Hmm.. Initially i tot they needed people to help out, turn out he asked me to go be blessed ;p den i told him, i din chant for the world for the whole week and now i go down to be blessed... tt's very singaporean. HAHAHAH don't give but take. He told me to go down for next year then. Sigh since i've re-arranged my tuition to an earlier date, might as well go down earlier. Moreover, my uncle, aunt-in-law, aunt, sister and Sinz will be there! hee Like to be doing things with my fam actually LOL..

Talk about religion and fam, my younger uncle said he wanted to read the bible. hahaha and the other day when the computer hang as he was playing computer game he said "if god wants me to rest, den i probably should" Hahaha i was like "Like u'll listen to Him." "you don't know i believe in God now meh?"
I din. Told him i have a bible, shall pass it to him later.
I believe religion does a person good. Any one can. Believing there is a higher power will keep people's lives on track, more discipline, more loving, nicer. Religions usually provide a reason for us being living in the world now, what is the greater cause of it. Just that the stubborn person in me refuse to listen to anything. ;p
My fickle mind, my want to be different, i believe all gods are real and one and the same one. Like how pre-historic chinese people make gods out of mountains and rivers because of their knowledge, or lack of it and their background. People of everywhere saw the supreme being through the lens of their own culture. Hence the difference in appearance.
Teaching wise, every religion speaks about being caring, compassionate, love mankind and a heaven.. Of cos, there are major differences in terms of rituals, execution of these goals. But i jus it is because of human subjectivity and after so many years, the divergence simply grew bigger.
I don't mean to offend anyone of any religion thou. Jus my lil tot.

I might look a lil crasy to think this way... Think about it, wat's the point of differentiating you are from this religion, i'm from that. *shrugs* The only time there is a difference is when the people have a false sense of superiority, i guess. This competitive nature only exists in humans right? I don't know, i'd like to think that the god/s up there, that i'm believing in, is/are magnanimous and forgiving. I guess every organisation has measures in place to prevent outflow of members, religion is no exception. :p i think i better stop the topic here before i get killed.

I love the song...

Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one

It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows another one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
(Union - BEP, Feat. Sting)

Let's change on the count of three.

In the new year, i hope i become a nicer person. less temper, more love. More positive energy. A more caring person, less bossy. :p More appreciative of the people around me.
Then maybe the world will become a better place in 2100... :p

The song in my last post is Union by Black Eyed Peas (feat. Sting). Can't explain it but i just love this song the first time i heard it. At first it was only because of the upbeat-ness of the song, den i went to look for the lyrics - very meaningful indeed. I've got to say, BEP is really talented. Another song to intro is 'Home' by Michael Buble. His voice is so sexy that you'll simply get lost listening to him*GRINZ*

Listening to so many songs because of the new ipod nano that my sister lent me. she got it for christmas, and she told me i could play with it... I've been wondering what she meant by 'play with it'. Does it mean i get to use it? or does it mean i jus load the songs in, learn how to use it, teach her and tt's it? *sulkz* Anyhow din manage to do anything to it until today, 5 days after xmas. Very unlike me, who likes to meddle with such things once they fall into my hands. I guess i din wanna touch it mostly cos it's not mine. Hahah anyhow my sister asked me to load songs in yday. So loaded the songs in my com into it.. And i carried it around today!!!!!!!!! hahaha k, kind of cool. Felt really good with it. LOL i guess i'm a convert. Used to hate ipod because so many people are carrying it. i liked Zen because it is made in Singapore (k not technically, but the brand is). But Nano has won me over, it is so slick!!!!! yet it can store like 4 Gigs of songs if i rem it correctly. Call me swaku (mountain turtle) but i was most fascinated by the touch pad. hahahahah the way u scroll up and down and adjust the vol.. I thought it was genius. And the packaging was simply awesome. Everything, up to the earphone covers, were packed nicely in white plastic pockets, sealed. (duh) Look like the way medical supplies are packed, e.g. syringes etc. Everything was put nicely in a box which was black in the outside but white in the inside.. The whole thing was screaming CLASS to me..
I'm sorry creative, i wanted to stay loyal to our product. I guess you cant give youngsters wat they wan, you need to create something for them to want.

Saw my SN friend today. Very glad i still get to meet her once in a while and feel like i can tell her anything :D How many friends do i really have to do this.. i think 4? LOL yeah... strictly speaking 2 but yeah... Gotta say someting really cliche here: Time really flies. I got to know her since sec 3, when i was 15. I'm already 20 goin on 21.. and so SO SOOOO many things have happened to her, me and both of us within this 5 years plus... Don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but i'm sure glad i've got a friend like her, my diary. Thank you KW :D Oh yeah, by the way she don't read my blog LOL so yeah... I don't know why i'm writing this..

Asked Mr Paul to pick me up after my little session with KW and Mel. Hee.. He very nicely obliged, even though he was very tired after a wedding dinner. Thank you Mr Paul. And i very unreasonably asked him to drop mel off at Payar Lebar, when i stay in Yishun. Sorry Mr Paul. Feel so bad :p I don't know about other girls, but i like to ask my bf to drop my friends off.. Most of the time, it is already very late, and my friend happened to be girls as well. And on the other hand, people will think my bf is very very nice and love me very very much to be willing to send him/her all the way to XXX place. :p hahah i'll just feel very loved when my bf drop me home at the end of the day. Rahhhhh Thank you Mr Paul Heee

I guess i'm goin to sleep soon.

Another 20 hours, the year is goin to end, again.
What have i achieved this year? What am i goin to do next year? Where is my life leading me?

When the clock strikes 12 tonight, i will be 6 months closer to being an adult. 21.. How time flies. I'm actually starting to feel scared. I don't feel ready to handle the big 21. All the responsibilities that will come with that, the problems i have to face...

My tuition kid told me this story:
There was a monk who needed to go to the dentist the next day. Being very traumatised by dentists when he was young (as we all were), he was worried sick for the whole day. He cound neither sleep, nor eat. Then come the next day, the monk woke up with little sleep, washed up and was about to leave the house when he received a call. He was told that the dentist will not be free on the day hence his appointment will be changed to the following friday.

Moral of the story:
Don't worry about things that hasn't happen. Dont bother thinking about things you cant control. Dont brood over things that have passed.

My kid has more wisdom than me. :D I try to learn from them too.

Regards,
Wenrong

[Chorus]
(One for all, one for all)
(It's all it's all for one)
Let's start a union, calling every human
It's one for all and all for one
Let's live in unison, calling every citizen
It's one for all and all for one

We don't want war- can't take no more
It's drastic time for sure
We need a antidote and a cure
Coz do you really think Mohammed got a problem with Jehovah
We don't want war – imagine if any prophet was alive
In current days amongst you and I
You think they would view life like you and I do
Or would they sit and contemplate on why
Do we live this way, act and behave this way
We still livin' primitive today
'Cause the peace in the destination of war can't be the way
There's no way, so people just be a woman, be a man
Realise that you can change the world by changing yourself
And understand that we're all just the same
So when I count to three let's change

[Chorus]

Got no time for grand philosophy
I barely keep my head above the tide
I got this mortgage, got three kids at school
What you're saying is the truth that really troubles me inside
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
Exchanging laughter for my tears

[Chorus]

I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, differences and religion
Why do we keep missing the point on our mission?
Why do we keep killing each other, what's the reason?
God made us all equal in his vision
I wish that I could make music as a religion
Then we could harmonise together in this mission
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one

It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows another one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing

[Chorus]

Really soft song... I don't particularly like the lyrics but the song is really nice. I guess if i cant put the song on the blog den the next best alternative is to write the lyrics. Man, how pathetic.

Went to SNAVA chalet yesterday. Yes, i went to a chalet, and a pretty empty one. Because most of the girls went home instead. 4 people in a 4 bed chalet, how luxurious is that? Almost like a hotel exp, minus the beautiful scenery.

You know how it gets a little awkward to gather with people you haven seen for years? Not to mention they are of a different batch from you, the different experiences. I have to say that i din feel awkward at all there, almost at home. Although not everyone from the club was there (i will neva expect full attendance actually), those who were there were pretty pleasant. Erm, maybe it was because most of the time they were inside and i was outside BUT, at the very least, they din irritate me. HAHAHAHHAH :p
Current batches aside, the alumni girls were pretty cute. I wonder if Laodamia and I were too strict last time, they always seem a little frightened of us, except melissa of cos, who's a little eccentric. And she claims i'm weird. :p

Biggest discovery during the bbq, My sec two lit teacher, Mrs Sng, actually suspected me of being spastic when she taught me. NO JOKE. I was so hurt... Just because i had really short hair and always act innocent in front of teachers, she thinks i'm spastic. Dam*

Ohz, did i mention 4 teachers turned up for our little gathering? 2 ex SN teachers and 2 current teachers. So touched!!!!!!!! LOL the best thing is the 2 ex SN teachers will be working in Bouna Vista from Jan onwards, this means i can meet them for lunch or dinner :D *grins*

Hahaha i have no idea why i'll be meeting them, i mean after a while there won't be anything to say to them and vice versa. So yeah...

Yes, i still have many things to do .. and i still haven touched them.

Seeing dentist tml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *JAW's music playin* *see ghost expression* Rahhh...

Sianed..

Happy holidays everyone.
HOpe ur life is not as boring as mine.
Boo

Regards,
WR

Oohooh ooh oohooh ooh...
C'mon!

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you're the only one for me (one for me)
(What I'm sayin')

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you (baby I'm with you)
Baby you're with me (baby you're with me, higher)

So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's, that's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u (come on)
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u

procrastinator...
i've got lotsa things waiting for me, i just cant bring myself to finish them..

1) Spring cleaning of the house
i've got to do this all by myself. My sisters are working, younger one isn't really very helpful. And my bf has decided not to help me out... sigh... my 4 room flat isn't very big, but still.. too big for me to spring clean...

2) YJ ALUMNI E-Newsletter
I've distributed the work out, but it is way too late to start writing in order to email it out in January.. Arghhh... I still have to put it together and send it out. Anyhow it is not within my control now. i'll just have to wait till fri and ask them for the write-ups.. den my stress will set in :(

3) Tuition
NEED another tuition assignment, but haven contacted any tuition agency yet. Matters are complicated because my aunt has a tuition assignment centre, and she has promised to help me with it. However things are taking a little too long because i'm so BROKE right now.. I'm living on the daily allowance my parents are giving me, which should be more than enough if i stay at home and not run around like i do. RAhhh. It is not helping when my current tuition kid is cancelling her lessons every week. *frustration*

4) Packed days
Isn't really something that i have to do, just something that adds on to my frustration. I'm goin to a chalet today (SNAVA - I HAVE TO PAY 20 DOLLARS!!!!) Thurs-hoping to leave it for paul, we'll see. Fri, i have dentist appointment and meeting dear KAIWEI for dinner i think. Really want to go out aft that, but we'll see whether i have enough money to go out :P. And... sat i've gotta go PKS to help out.
I wanna play game... do nothing at home i guess.. Yawns... read my book...

Suckz.
and school is reopening in 1.5weeks' time.

Oh and for all who wants to know how i did for exams: i did badly.
Results = devestation ever since i stepped into law school. Hardwork doesn't help. Not to mention hardwork + occassion game playing.
Byebye china exchange program. It is a little late to say i'm not suited for law so i guess i'll just say, i'm just not smart enough for law sch.. Suckz.

This is depressing.
this is life.

hahaha let me complete my unfinished business from yday...

as i was saying,
those in-charge weren't doing what they were suppose to do, doing things from other portfolio.. Bad management. I'm not saying everyone should stick to their job and not help others. However, when you want to help, you got to at least finish what you need to cover right?
Moreover, the vice chair and chair always stick together, like bee see honey lydat. Friend, if you donno the portfolio of vice chair right, let me tell you. It is to be there when the chair is not around. When chair is talking to campers, you will give instructions to the organisers. When chair need to attend to outside matters, the vice will take charge of the camp. Pls, don't stick to each other like girls go to toilet. You are running a whole camp of 160 over people, you need each other's company?

K i might be too harsh..the reason why i always get pissed off is because i expect too much from others and too lil of myself. Big big problem of mine. Gotta do something about it. New year resolution :d

I guess this time the good outweighs the bad at the camp because i'm kind of missing the camp. haha can't believe thou, but i don't miss it like the sabah trip thou. I believe it is because of the very nice people whom i met there. Yvette, Liwei (hahaha must write his name ah, cos he is reading), lok wei, rock, chu feng and randal. Logs and games team. Made the waterbombs, put up the castle wall, carry things, lame jokes, ghost stories, slack, eat.. everything together..
i guess of all people in the camp, i learnt the most from them. I guess others may think they're just a bunch of slackers, bunch of followers, indifferent to many things. But i see something else. I see them as a bunch of givers, very selfless people.
Talked to Liwei on msn yday, i still rem what he said "as long as i do what i am suppose to do, the campers are happy, i'm satisfied already"
I don't know how many of the organisers go with this mindset. And how many of them can actually do things behind the scene, not expecting any recognition, watsoever, and their satisfaction is from the camper's laughter and enjoyment.
When they forgot to thank the logs team, i was angry for them. But the logs team wasn't a least bit affected as i saw it. They joked about it to Lawrence, 'Oei... every year lydat one, forget to thank us... Don't do already lah' but they were laughing.
When everyone, GLs and organisers included, asked us for the light sticks, Chu feng insisted that the campers take first. When there wasn't enough and the stupid in charges collected the light sticks back. Yvette went to dig out another bunch from the boxes.

SBMY should be very thankful they don't have a selfish logs team. At the rate they are goin, a selfish logs team wont last long. True, everyone has their forte. They don't like to relate to people, therefore they want to be in logs. Not to say that GLs and other people are useless, but how many people can go on so long without appreciation? Perhaps i do not know the real story behind. I can only say they have earned my respect. A group of guys more matured than they and others think they are.

On the last night, we had our dinner as the campers were having debriefing. i was lying on the floor while ang hwee talked to the three of them. I pretended to sleep because i din want to talk. (partly because i just want to lie down) He commented on each of their character and their desire to learn buddhism. He told them that their desire and determination was weak. As i thought about it today, i wonder if it is because the group has became too big. That those who have certain understanding of buddhism has no time to reach out to them? to sit down and listen to them one to one? Is it time to devise a system, that those who are ready to receive more serious buddhism education to have classes, instead of a one-for-all class?

I just hope that at the end of all the fun, they still remember why they are doing what they set out to do.

Mr Paul is BACK!!!! YEayyyy

Haven been writing anything in the blog, decided to type something before he gets home and call me :D

Just went to help out at a buddhist camp, thankz to alvino and xiong, if not i wouldn't have been there. Probably spent my 3 days doing nothing at home, playing maple story and missing my boyfriend.
but everytime i go for SBMY camp (my second time) i seem to come back with a lot of complaints. Well, i'll elaborate on the good things that happened to me after my angry rant..

actually this time the overall camp was pretty nicely put together. probably because i wasn't a camper but one of the organisers (more like sai kang warrior). They invited speakers who actually look pretty pro, and the usual, meditation games yada yada. The movies were very nice also.
However, i wasn't too happy with the camp mistress, or rather her style of management. On day 0, we were asked to go help bring things from SBMY temple to camp site at LCK. She came in, asked us to gather for briefing. Things started out alright, i tot she looked pretty nice to work for. However, seems like she wanted to compensate for her size, her speech carried a pretty threatening tone. She said things like "Anyone with no forms have to go home tomorrow." and "Every bit of rice you are taking now is bought with the money from the donation box at the temple. Everyone of you should know how difficult it is for us to collect money there. So i hope all of you will not take time off during the camp".. well to both tt statment, i was thinking to myself, "since i dun haf forms i might as well go home now." and "den why am i paying camp fees for?" respectively...
Well, she totally pissed me off.
Anyway, i wasn't there for the first day. so no comments.
Second day onwards started the crazy schedule, (plus i had very bad cramps on dat day) had to walk like... 20 mins under the scorching sun, to the frog farm once i got to campsite. then conduct games till throat was super sore. den stupid timing, all come together.. do till i headache. but i really enjoyed my station.. cos i got to tekan pple. HAw Haw Hawwww
after which just kept making water bombs, cos they needed them to play some sniper games... Which i didn't join cos by then my cramps were killing me.. I just showered and went to bed.
Third day also sianed... morning wake up go sun tan liao... do up the 'castle wall' under the sun. meanwhile feed the ants (cos we were in the field).. afterwhich make water bombs again for war game (7,500 water bombs made altogether) afternoon i go sleep again hahahhaa at night there was campfire..
then i blood boil again.
Before the campfire, there was buffet dinner for us, parents who came for the campfire. organisers had to take last so by the time they finished taking, there was nothing but garnish left for us...
Missy asked us to attend to the parents, entertain them. I look like wat? PR ah? not i dunwan to talk to them, they dunwan to talk to me k. First, they are there to look at their kids interact, film their kids. Second, they were eating, am i suppose to interrupt their meal? third, you have so many GLS who can talk to the parents about their kids, why ask the logs pple to go talk to the parents? tell them how to make waterbombs?
STUPID nia..
YOUR ORGANISERS are sitting down, doesn't mean they haven done anything yet. Allocated the job liao den trust them to do the job, trust ur heads to make them work. Dun say things like "eh, you guys like campers lydat, must call so many times den move". The only reason they're not movie is because ur head is not doing his job, ur head is not doing his job is because YOU are not doing ur job!
Camp mistress always in front of the campers givin instructions, games-IC doing MC job at the same time.

Oeiii i haven finish..
TO BE CONT...

wr

Your 2005 Song Is

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

hahhaha
Once and for all..
Pretty fun
LOL

it is 330 am in the morning. I shld go to bed...

Yawnnnn

WR

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ryuichi Konjo

What's your Japanese Name?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,111,417

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Jenna Talia

Outrageous Name Generator

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Isabeli Pera

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro. You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

HAhahhaha Saw the birthdate thingy at my friend's blog, decided to try it out(I guess largely because i am waiting for a patch for my game (Romance of the Three Kingdom). Yes i've upgraded (not much thou) to a thinking game.
But the reason why i'm patching it is because i cannot use the cheat codes!!! HAHAHAH i've no shame in saying that. Because i only have like 8 people to protect two carriages! RAHHh How do they expect me to strategise that?!

Obviously i cannot be a war strategist. (how ever that occupation is called)
Muahahah back to try my cheat codes.

(now you guys know i'm busy with...surprise, surprise!)

LOL

WR

Your Birthdate: May 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Actually i got a number of things to blog about, since i haven been blogging for some time. LOL Dun blame me, blame my exams.

Had the Alumni Tea on 26th Nov. I thought it went pretty well for first timers, for starters. Other than the VP telling the members how much money the sch plans to make frm the 20th Anniversary events, i would say things went like we planned.
Actually i couldn't believe it when VP was talking about the amount of donations they hope to get from the Alumni. Not to mention that she was the first to present. Using the same blunt way and telling us that the college only wants money from us like last year, i really wonder why am i doing this.
Tried as i might during my presentation, our presentation, i guess we had lost some of them. On top of that, many did not come wanting to help i guess. Most came for the friends, the teachers.
It is going to be a long and difficult journey...

I guess what YJ students lack is confidence to speak up, like most of the Singaporeans. Or they just cant be bothered. I'd rather the former, at least that is something i can help. People who are indifferent, will remain so. In some aspects of my life, perhaps i should be the last person to criticise about these people. Still, i have to say it. Guess some people lose grip in their life, others neva find it. I really wonder what are they living for? Without dreams, without anything that they are willing to work hard for, without something that they really want, without a belief in life.

I don't know, how do you teach awareness? How do you teach someone to learn how to observe? observe others, observe themselves. Knowing who they are, their principles in life, what do they want.

Met up with a friend from JC yesterday. He changed a lot. No longer the loud mouth that he used to be. I believe he is someone who knows what he want, and he is going out for it. He is trying to better himself. From his mannerism and what he speaks of, i can sense that he went through alot. Became more matured than most of our classmates have. Being one of the students that he has praised, i'm glad this friend of mine has proven him right. More than that, i'm happy for him.

I've heard other guys say 'i think i've matured alot from this. I wont look at life the same angle again.' Then later, he say that 'i would have joined, if there were any pretty girls in the club.' Then you wonder what may his definition of maturity be...

Sian.

-wr-

Woke up bright and early today to study (Sunday eh!), but 3 pages into my CLT text, half my mind is thinking about maple story... So i thought i'll blog instead of starting the game, in case i cannot end it later ;p

Well there isn't much to blog about, have been studying the whole week. Din quarrel with paul, usually no one at home, din even read the papers... Think my life is pretty dead right now. Cannot stop thinking about what i want to do when my papers are over...

I just read about Andy lau yesterday on a two week old magazine. Talks about how he work 365 days a year, given his status and wealth, he can easily take things slowly, become more arrogant, etc. Instead of having more and more silly news like who might he be dating, changing gf every week, he has always appeared 'clean' and well taken care of by the reporters. The report mentioned his 25 years of hard work on the silver screen. What struck me is this paragraph.
When we were in school, we always admire the student who manages to do well without studying but simply smarter than the rest. However, we always neglect the ones who really work for their good results. This is human nature, we like reap what we are lazy to sow. We want to get things without working for it.

This is a perfect description of me.
Everyone wishes to think that he is the smart one, who only have to do a little last minute revision before the exam and can pass with flying colours. I'm one such example, ever since secondary school. I remember the days i spent sleeping in classes, failing all my tests, going to fast food restaurants after school. Come sec 4, mugging near the prelims to pass my maths and sciences. Picking and choosing chapters to study for humanities.
Fortunately, i scrapped through my prelims, ended up in YJ.
Come O'lvls, my results were far worse than what my friends. I couldn't complain.
It was difficult to convince myself that i have to work hard for what i want, because i'm no one special. In fact, all these years of education have taught me that, i'm especially unlucky. If i failed to revise, work hard, then it is more likely than not i wont do well.

It is painful to realise.
Such experience is impossible to teach. As much as you tell someone else this, it will not be effective as going through it yourself.

I told my sister two days ago after joggin,
"I can only support u as much as i can when you are putting in the effort. If you have given up, there isn't must i can do. And remember, no one will wait for you to help u."

I bet she cant rem it by now.
But i guess i was just trying to remind myself of something i've begun to forget.

Cheers!

Fell sick while trying to study. Couldn't sleep then, sickness aggravated. Mum forced me to see the doctor last night. Paul came to pick me up to see the doc...
Very tired now, don't feel like studying after studying from 8am to 12 noon just now. Took a nap till 230pm. But wasn't helpful. Now i feel more drained than anything.
He refused to come over because my parents are home.. Sigh, we've been through this before. I don't know his issues with seeing my parents. He wasn't like that when he wanted to patch. I don't know if i'm asking for too much, but i just want him ard when i'm not feeling well.
Things don't change, do they? maybe i'm whining over nothing. But since i'm down with flu, i have the license to do all these. Just blame it on the medication.
I went to ur event despite being sick, spent the time i shld be resting with you, your family and everything that was important to you. Unlike you, i could have spent that time studying. Perhaps you thought that was for my good. But on my part, all i thought of when i contemplated if i should go, was that it was important for you. Down with cold, sitting in the air-con room for 2 hours plus, i'm willing to go through. My house, with my parents, too much?
It is not because the difference in character.
You're right, i need all your attention.
I'm just too disappointed right now. If history has to repeat itself everytime pressure adds on, i'm sorry, i can't take it.
I have my enough pressure on me, i told you before, i don't need anymore.

shld try very hard not to get distracted by anything today...
better start the day by chanting...
mayb will ask uncle to send me that chant again..
ahahhaha
It helps me to focus
:D

WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG


oH,
btw it is my younger sister's birthday todaY!!!
she is a halloween baby then, hahaha i think that explains why she is so queer...
Wonder if i shld celebrate for her
ahahahah

Wondering if i should put a counter on my blog to humiliate myself.. HAhahaha
Sian.. Stuck at home to do the trials and study...

I need a life.

Maybe I should sell a product by the name of 'Life'
hahah my tag line is "Get a life"

K lame
HAHAHAHAHHAAH

I ended because my breakfast was here...
I just wanna mention something else

I think many of the human rights supporters will be jumping when they see this post (not for joy definitely)
Anyway, from my previous entry, it is easy to infer that I think human rights can be consented away. Meaning, if they people choose to do something wrong, they have no human rights. That is not what i am proposing.
My idea of Human rights is based upon people making choices (as wrong as i may be), and i will go as far as saying the state policies should not be subjected to Human rights (which is very wrong for many of you out there.) Let my try to explain myself first:

My idea of Human rights is based upon the choices people make, you have the right to make choices in what you want to do, how to do it, legally or illegally. The consequences that comes with it is because of the choices they make. They will be punished or awarded based on those choices, the right of choice. The consequences are sought of foreseeable and ought not be subsumed under 'right', if need be, perhaps 'right to be punished', because each one is rational individual (an assumption...)
The state ought not to be subjected to my idea of human rights because the choice is by individuals. The consequences sanction by the state is decided after weighing the rights of different categories of people. Some balance ought to be struck definitely, but more often than not, other factors such as the market interest, relationships with other countries etc will come into play. The state has also to be stern about their principles on certain things.

Anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of laws are not those that we break on a habitual basis. If we eat, work, shit, sleep as normal human beings. Will we go around killing people? Will we traffic drugs? Will we do weird things like pointing third finger at ur neighbour?

Tot i'll write a short one before looking for facts in my mock trials, and since i managed to read the papers today. Hahahah i realised ST is easier to understand than the evening chinese papers. The colour pictures are just too distracting for me, half the time sensationalising the news, telling me everything but what really happened... Is this what chinese pple are concern about now? as the Morning chinese paper grow thinner and thinner, i wonder what is actually available for them.

Anyhow, in the very slim chinese morning papers, I read an article about Australians (pple in melbourne) opposing our death penalty. Local court had sentence a Australian-Vietnamese(Aus by Nationality and Viet by birth, i think) to death penalty because of drug trafficking. This sparked the whole debate (again) about us not respecting human rights, etc. Being pressured by his people and the opposition party over there, the PM actually requested Singapore to be lenient when sentencing. In contrary to his earlier statement that Aus will not interfere when Australians break the laws of other countries.
(NB: anything that i'm writing is based on that article that i read)

I have to agree with the author to a great extent that we should not back down on this.

We had our death penalty since 1975, why in the world should we change our law, just because a foreigner has broken it HERE, with knowledge that death penalty existed HERE?
Apart from unusual circumstances such as some gang has kidnapped his family and threatened him into doing this.
If he wanted to escape death penalty, traffic the drug somewhere where there isn't any death penalty. I bet trafficking drug to Singapore gives them a higher profit margin because of the tough penalties here. So if you had assumed the risked because of the extra profits, That is a risk he has assumed and it materialised. What do these people want? A fair drug market ah?

Secondly, the essence of death penalty is to deter, granted, there are still people trafficking drugs, hence it is not 100% successful at deterring. This might be due to reasons of higher profits and demand (mayb in some extreme cases, just for the fun...) For a reasonable person, an act that attacts a punishment as serious as death will make him think twice before doing it. So logically speaking, EVEN the death penalty cannot ensure 100% no trafficking of drugs, wouldn't lessening the penalty make it more attractive to traffic drugs here?

Thirdly, the author mentioned that these people are crying out loud for human rights. So you see us as suppressing the accused, what about when the accused sell those drugs and affect thousands of people, who's family are broken up because of all the repercussions that drug addiction brings? What about the rights of these people? Should they not be protected then? In weighing out the rights of innocent consumers (as they always assume) and those people bring the drugs in from less regulated areas. The choice has to be made by the state, and the choice is clear.
Of cos, it may be argued that human rights activists are not asking for no penalty at all, but death penalty is just not justified. Well, as i mentioned above, it is meant as a deterrance. And Singapore is famous for her death penalty for drug trafficking. There seemed to be no reason why a drug trafficker won't have knowledge of the sentence that is attached to the crime. So equiped with that knowledge, he thought he could have made it out with more money than the same batch of drugs can fetch. Unfortunately for him, he was caught. The risks he had undertook came true, he was sentenced to death. Sad, yes. But he had implied consented. (hahahah contracts...)

i'm not some cruel bitch who want to see people dead. In fact, the first time i sat in high court to listen to a murder trial, i felt bad thinking that the max sentence for that man is death penalty, regardless of what i said before trial.
However, i believe the penalty is justified for drugs trafficking than murder (except of cos a serial killer or that sort). Murder may be because of a split second of rage, but not all rage cases can come under CHNAM (culpable homicide not amounting to murder). Drug traffickers are actually earning money by selling poison..


Once again, everyone entitled to their views. I'm just writing my stand...

Just had a chat with my mom and sister, then i realised that i have been really lazy for the past year, compared to my days in YJ.
Sian... I think of the things i want to do in my life, and see that i have to work very hard to get them.. tt's when i start to give myself excuses to slack. E.g. too many smart people in law school, no way i can get a good grade.

Think of working hard just ... sounds tired... hhahahahaha yes, i'm plain lazy. My philosophy in life is "You gotta work hard to be lazy." Perfectly logical when you think about it..

Good bye Maple Story... Even if I don't get to go China for exchange, it is still for my own good to do relatively better this sem..
HAI...

It is when you try ur very best, and u get screwed up...
Perhaps tt's what i'm trying to pre-empt... as usual...

Sian.

Muah Ji in action..
Good bye to Muah Ji Me.

Wenrong

hey guys, sorry man, haven been updating my blog since god-knows-when...
Don't really have anything controversial, or interesting, or intellectual to put on my blog... But den again, i think nothing much here's any of the above, Hiakz
Anyhow, much of my life is taken up by Maple story, studying and Paul plus trying to get some social life. Blogging isn't really a priority right now..
Plus all the hype about bloggers being charged with the Sedition Act... Talking about the internet is a free space, to support free speech.
Look, like i've said one year ago, and i still stand by what i say now. You know very well you are writing on a public domain, you know there will be people looking whether or not u secure ur blog with a password. So if you face the consequences when you try to play with the rules.
Freedom of speech will only come if people start taking responsibilities of what they say.
Many people wont agree, my Law frens definitely. And i don't intend to argue with them. Everyone is entitled to their views. If they think that Singaporeans can afford to have more freedom in whatever they do when they cannot even take the responsibility to preserve the very fabric that Singapore is made up of, den so be it.

what xia.... suddenly i'm so popular on msn, everyone started msging me... 2 of them asking for muggers, one to ask me if i'm goin to the LFC retreat tml, one asking me about my fren whom he is interested in and... one asking if i'm free for gathering on sunday...

Law Sch's student exchange program just started taking in application. Initially i din wanna apply. First, my grades are really bad since year 1. I need my year 3 to pull them up in case i fall into the 2-2 category (which BCG won't wanna employ). Second, it will cost quite a bit, even if i'm goin to China. Sigh..
When i looked at the application form today and think about who to ask as referee, i realised i haven accomplished much in Law school. I wonder how many tutors really have a good impression or perhaps even an impression of me being in their class. I know i definitely have improved in some ways since Law Sch started. But i've also become more critical of myself, less confident in sch and i guess it is unhealthy?

I just received my prop law assignment grades yesterday - B-. I was told many people din do well. But then again, i've put in a lot of effort into this assignment, then. Then my fren who surf the net during tutorials got a better grade than me. Isn't it frustrating when however hard you work, you simply cannot get pass a certain grade?

I need to work harder.

i'm addicted to maple story.
for those of you who have no idea what that is, it is an multiple-player RPG game which you play online.
For some reason i cannot d/l the new game client with the new additions to the game. It is disgusting how they take advantage of our addiction. They simply don't do a good job linking the downloads! And my stupid sch connection which usually can download things pretty quickly, chooses to screw up today. I'm left here, waiting for the game client to be done d/ling after 81 hours.
Damn i hate this.
Perhaps i shld consider quiting playing the game altogether. Considering my exams are round the corner
HAHAHA, yes my exams seem to be ancillary to the difficulties in d/lding, you haven't read me wrongly.

81 hours...

I've just sent an email to the pro-tem team for YJ alumni, one with a pretty frustrated tone (according to my fren). However, i couldn't help it. On one hand i cannot expect everyone to put this as anywhere near a priority, on the other, i can't do this alone. I tot that since we have all pledged our commitment, we shld at least see it through. To establish a functioning ex-co and that's it. But here i am, having problem organising meetings with full attendance of the pro-tem, and getting response from them for event details or suggestions. As much as i try to make things easy for them by emailing them to inform and get feedback, their indifference makes it difficult for progress. How can i expect the greater mass of the members to respond, when the core group cannot get its act together? I really wonder if i should go on or to just f*ck it.

My own friends from YJ are not supportive of the alumni either. I've met up with a couple of friends for movie a few days back, the little time i was with them, i spent it trying to convince them to come back for the tea. I'm beginning to feel like i'm selling the alumni like MLM, trying to make them buy by harassing them. The closest friends i had, or so i thought, i had problem calling them to support me. Personally, i don't want them to think that i'm just looking for them when i have some agenda. I guess i'll have to attribute this to my absence from the group throughout my first year. No excuse. Most of them just took it as i've left the group because of my boyfriend and only looking for them when i break up. I can't blame them for feeling that way thou because it appears so. But i guess when i try to get them together, there isn't much to talk to them about except listen to their army stories. I don't blame them because their lives are just about army right now. However, it is difficult to organise a gathering when most of us are busy with our own lives.

I sometimes question my passion for the alumni.
I spent my most hardworking days in Yj, to be frank, the only thing i learnt is academic things (and largely not from the teachers). But i've learnt about life, really grew up in YJ. I've learnt that sometimes when life takes a nasty turn, it may be for the better. A place where i hated the system and learnt to live with it. A place where i got into trouble with the system but managed to survive it. A place where i've proved my worth to myself. I hate the school, used to.
That is why i want to change it.

Damn